


Hey Lover

by vocari



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Fluff and Humor, Gossip Girl References, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, One-Sided Bokuto Koutaro/Oikawa Tooru, Past Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Rich Bokuto Koutaro, Secret Past, bokuto has OCD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:41:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 65,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vocari/pseuds/vocari
Summary: “I didn’t think the worst thing in my life would be you coming into it.”Keiji sharply turns to Koutaro. “You don’t mean it...” he whispers.Koutaro holds his stare. “Then tell me I’m wrong.”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 29
Kudos: 107





	1. British People Aren't Real

**Author's Note:**

> okay,,, first fanfic on here with my favorite ship: bokuaka. I've always been really interested in the concept that bokuto has anxiety and OCD, just like me. so here is this attempt at writing. i hope you guys like it!

“MAAAAA!” Koutaro’s shrill scream rang through the house. “MY GEL! WHERE IS IT!?” He was panicking, and if he didn’t find anything to keep his hair up, he was going to have a complete breakdown before classes.

“Koutaro, stop yelling. You’re making my headache worse.” his mother lets out a sigh as she walks into his bathroom. “It’s not in your moving boxes?”

“No mama, it’s not. And if I can’t find it, I’m going to rip my hair out of my head.“

“Koutaro, deep breaths.” his mother calmly lays her manicured hands on his shoulders. “Breathe with me.”

Koutaro shakes his head. “I have no time for oxygen! I need gel!”

“Koutaro, you look great with your hair down. You look amazing. There’s no need to worry. Your hair is fine. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask Tetsuro-kun?” 

Koutaro nods. Then nods again. “Yeah…I can do that. Tetsu will tell me the truth. He always does. I’ll tell Tetsu. Tetsu’s honest.” Koutaro nods once more before walking to his room to dial said friend’s number.

“TETSUUU!!!” Koutaroo screams into the phone. 

**_“Yes, my lovely owl friend?”_** said boy answers calmly. 

“I can’t find my gel to put my hair up, so my mom said that I should just leave it down, but I told her it will look weird when it’s done because I always leave my hair up, so if people see me with my hair down, they’ll totally think it’s weird and start making fun of me, and then—“

**_“Ponytail.”_ **

**__**

**__**

“What?”

**_“Ponytail. Put it in a ponytail. You like putting your hair like that anyway. And it’ll keep the hair off your neck like you want.”_ **

**__**

**__**

“Well yeah but—“

**_“No buts! Just do it! Tooru and I will be there in ten.”_ **

**__**

**__**

Koutaro sighs. “Okay. see you.” He puts the phone down and lays his hands on the sink. It feels cold. 

“A ponytail could work. It’s not so bad.”

Koutaroo nods to himself and picks up the hair tie. Slowly, he twists and ties it until it finally looks good enough. Kind of. Maybe. His hair was long enough to tie but short enough so that said ponytail didn’t tickle his neck. A few strands stuck out, but Koutaro didn’t mind. 

He leaves the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He makes sure it’s closed tightly before heading down the stairs to put a hoodie on and to grab his backpack. 

“Koutaro, have you eaten yet?” his mother called from the kitchen.

Had he eaten yet? He didn’t feel hungry but his stomach grumbled at the smell of breakfast.

“I’ll just grab something from the store.”

Yeah, he wasn’t hungry. 

“Good morning Bokuto-san and Kou!” Tetsuro slams the door open. 

The mother and son wince at the sound. 

“You need to be more respectful of their house Tetsu-kun!” Tooru scolds. “Is breakfast ready yet!? I’m STARVING!”

Tooru goes running towards the kitchen and starts a small conversation with the woman at the stove, while Tetsuro cooly walks over to Koutaro. 

“Lovin’ the style bro.” the bed-head greets the boy.

“Thanks! I just need to get my earrings and we can go.”

Tetsuro clicks his tongue and winks. “You look great man.”

Koutaro sends him a wide grin. 

“Jesus, I can see his **b l i n d i n g** smile from the kitchen.” Tooru murmurs as he chews on a piece of toast. “What earrings are you gonna wear today?”

“How do the blue one’s sound?”

“Yes!”

“Nah, I’ll go with black.”

“But you always choose black.” Tetsuro chuckles. 

“They look better on me.”

“Anything looks good if Kou-chan is wearing it!” Tooru shamelessly flirts and links his arm with Koutaro. “Now come on! Don’t want to be late to class!”

“Bye Bokuto-san!” Tetsuro calls over his shoulder. 

The three boys walk out and wait for Koutaro. “Just…give me a sec…” he murmurs. “I need to—“

“We’ll wait for you!” Tetsuro reassures him. 

Koutaro stays in place for a few seconds, waiting for Tetsuro and Tooru to turn around. When they do, he gets to his routine. 

Make sure both locks are secure. First the bottom one. Check the knob five times. Then check the top one. Check the knob another five times. Pull the door to make sure it’s tightly closed. Then push. 

“Okay…I’m pretty sure it’s locked now.” he announces. 

“Well let’s get going then!” 

Koutaro nods and gets to walking. 

_‘You didn’t check enough times.’_ his mind scolds him. _‘You have to check again.’_

“Fuck. Hold on. I forgot something. I’ll catch up.” he waves his friends off. Without waiting for their response, he runs back to his house to check the door again. 

The locks are good. The knob is good. The door isn’t broken. It’s closed. 

Koutaro stares at the knob for a while.

_‘They aren’t closed right. Someone will come in and murder mom.’_

__

__

“Just ignore it.” he tells himself out loud. 

“Kou-chan! Come on!” Tooru waves. 

“Sorry.” he apologizes and runs towards them. “Let’s get going.”

That really ruined his mood. He was only supposed to check the doors once. But he went back. And now he was going to get to class later than usual. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Let’s just walk faster and we’ll make it.” Tetsuro reassures him. 

“Yeah Kou-chan! Now let me tell you the wonderful story of how I almost fell down the stairs but saved myself and did the splits.”

“Why don’t you tell him the story of when you first saw him. What did you young ones call it?” Tetsuro smirks. “Love at first sight?”

“THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE BACK OF OUR MINDS!”

“Oh yeah…” Koutaro begins to pick himself back up. “Didn’t you try and flirt with me, but you ended up vomiting on your lunch?”

Tooru groans and covers his cherry red face with a hand. “STOP IT!”

Bokuto lets out a loud, genuine laugh. “I felt so bad for him. Tooru, were you that nervous?”

“No shit I was…”

“Poor Kou. He was scared out of his mind. Panicking and all fidgety.” 

They arrive on campus making fun of an already embarrassed Tooru and finally hyped up Koutaro. 

“This is me. See you guys after class!” Tooru blows kisses at them. 

Koutaro pretends to catch one and pats the part of his chest his heart was in. “I’ll miss you Tooru!”

“But not that much!” Tetsuro grins and leads Koutaro away. “Now then! Back corner?” he asks Koutaro. 

“Yeah. Back corner. The back corner is good for me.” 

_‘Why is everyone looking at me? I look weird don’t I? Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have worn my hair like this. It’s always me and my stupid hair—‘_

__

__

“Kou.” Tetsuro snaps him out of his thoughts. “You’re making that face that says you’re overthinking.” 

Bokuto shifts around and hesitantly sits down in his seat. Tetsuro takes the seat next to him and sighs. 

“Kouuu!” he whines. “Bro! What happened?”

Koutaro slams his head on his desk. “I look so stupid don’t I?”

“No, Koutaro, you don’t.” a voice speaks up in front of them. 

Koutaro raises his head slowly and meets the eyes of his other best friend, Kozume Kenma. Also known as Kuroo Tetsuro’s boyfriend. 

“Kenmaaaa!” Tetsuro grins and pats the shorter man’s head, as he knew Kenma wasn’t as fond of PDA as he was. 

Kenma grimaces. “Ew. Stop talking to me. I’m still mad at you.” 

Tetsuro slams his head onto his desk as well. 

Koutaro turns his head against his desk to look at Tetsuro. “Bro, what’d you do?”

“I took his game away from him so he would do his work. Bro.”

“I’m here for you bro.”

“You’re the only one bro.”

“Koutaro, I brought you cookies for today.” Kenma shakes a bag of said food. 

“Yes!” Koutaro jumps out of his seat to take. “Thank you Kenma!” 

“Dude.” Tetsuro scoffs. “Total betrayal.” 

“It’s cookies. What do you expect me to do?”

Kenma hands Koutaro the snacks and takes a seat in front of them. “Koutaro, how was your day?” he asks the man behind him. 

Koutaro immediately frowns. “Not too good. I had to go back and check the doors which ruined the time.”

Tetsuro flashes a look of amazement towards Kenma. 

“Well, after this class, it will go back to the usual time. Then it’ll be a good day. Right?” Kenma raises a brow. 

“Yeah…yeah I guess…”

Tetsuro claps his hands together excitedly, causing several students to look his way and glare. 

Koutaro lays his head onto his desk again, less harshly this time, and sighs. he drowns out everyone near him and closes his eyes.

“Hey—Aka—“

 _‘It’ll be a good day today.’_ he reminds himself. 

———————————————

“The fact that you even think that counts as an insult is proof enough that you’re a nerd.” Tooru crosses his arms. 

“Shut up fluoride.” Tetsuro narrows his eyes. 

“KOU-CHAN HELP ME OUT!”

“Sorry docosahexaenoic acid. You’re on your own for this one.”

“I’m going to stop arguing just because I’m in shock Kou-chan even knows how to pronounce that word.”

“Koubro! Let me borrow your muscles!” Tetsuro calls. 

The three boys were officially moving in together into a flat they managed to rent out near campus. They were currently unpacking their stuff into their designated rooms while also arguing. 

Well technically while Tooru and Tetsuro argued. Koutaro simply laughed at the stupid insults. 

“SO!” Tetsuro practically screamed. “I found this GREAT coffee place nearby. We should go today!” 

Koutaro smiles. “Sounds good. Will Tooru be able to come?”

“Unfortunately I can’t.” Tooru walks in and pouts. “I promised my mom I would call today.”

“So flattykawa does have a heart. How sweet.” Tetsuro teases. 

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

“I’m going to get ready and ignore you two!” Koutaro sings as he walks out of the room and into his own. 

He shoves the shouts of Tetsuro and Tooru out of his mind and collapses onto his bed. He didn’t want to get up. 

The stress from having to keep his real emotions under wraps was getting to him. Koutaro wanted to be loud. He didn’t want to care about the judgmental stares he thought he received or the whispers of people around him that he thought were about him. 

Koutaro wanted to be normal. 

“KOUUUU! YOU COMING!?”

Said boy shoves his head into his newly washed blankets.

Deep breath in and a deep breath out. 

Koutaro gets up and puts his hoodie back on. Then tightens his hair tie and puts on his shoes. 

“Okay! I’m ready!” 

Tetsuro grins and offers an arm to link with Koutaro’s. Their arms connect and they head out of the house, making sure there was enough time for Koutaro to check the door at least twice. 

“Hey, Koutaro…you seemed kind of upset. It’s a good day right?”

Koutaro smiles. Like always. 

“It’s a good day Tetsuro.”

———————————————

Akaashi Keiji hates his job. Well, he hates this day in particular. 

To start it off, he woke up late and was forced to miss breakfast. He ran into someone and knocked them both to the ground. After apologizing profusely, Keiji ran into his class with five minutes left to spare. 

And now here he was, waiting behind the counter of the dreaded coffee shop he worked at, bored out of his mind. 

“Cheer up Akaashi! You’ll get wrinkles!” Konoha Akinori laughs from the backroom. 

“Yeah, you would know for experience wouldn’t you?” Tsukishima Kei mumbles. 

“OI TSUKKI! PAY SOME RESPECT TO YOUR ELDERS!” 

“Elder in age and looks huh.”

“TSUKKI YOU LITTLE SHTI!”

Keiji sighs and continues staring at the same painting across from him. He liked it and all, but having to stare at the same thing for too long does something to your sanity. 

The bell rings, signaling someone had entered; two guys with weird hairstyles. 

“Ah, Kuroo-san, hello.” Keiji greets. 

“Hey, Akaashi! I didn’t know you worked here! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because then you would show up more.”

“HEY!”

“Are you gonna order or not?”

“Yeah yeah. Get me a coffee. And Kou dude? What do you want?” Tetsuro turns to the man behind him. He mumbles something Keiji doesn’t hear, but apparently Tetsuro does. “He wants some tea. Chamomile tea.”

Keiji nods and hands the order to Kei, who gets to work on making them. 

“Kou? Where are we sitting today?”

‘Kou’ points to a booth near the back that had a perfect view of the entire shop. 

“Hm. Sounds good. Bye Akaashi!” Tetsuro waves and walks over to the table with his friend. 

“I take it you and Kuroo-san are still not talking?” Keiji murmurs over to Kei. 

“We just chose not to be close anymore. Nothing special.”’

Keiji hums. “I could see you itching for him to pick a fight with you.”

“Why do you do this to me Akaashi-san?”

“Fine, I’ll change the subject. Do you know his friend?”

“Why? Love at first sight?”

“The bracelets on his wrist looked really tight. His hands were shaking. He had blood on his fingers—Do you need me to go on?”

Kei sighs. “His name is Bokuto. Bokuto Koutaro. He’s on the school’s volleyball team. And he’s Kuroo-san’s best friend.”

Keiji looks over to Koutaro. 

Usually, things like this never interested him. He wasn’t too keen on making new friends. They were a pain to deal with, which was a reason why he had so little.

But Bokuto Koutaro…No never mind. Nothing special. Just another customer in the shop. 

Keiji takes the drinks and brings them to the table, causing Koutaro to clamp his mouth shut immediately and lower his head. 

“Thanks Akaashi!” Tetsuro smiles. 

Keiji nods and heads back to his place behind the counter. From there, he could pick up on bits of their conversation. 

“That’s where you’re wrong! British people aren’t real! British should be labeled as an accent!” Koutaro argued. 

“But isn’t it like its own country? The United Kingdom? I think?” 

“I don’t know! But people keep saying there’s such a thing as a British accent and British people! I don’t understand!” 

“Well, we’re in Japan, so I guess it’s cool not to know. Drink your tea.”

Koutaro takes a sip and frowns. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. That’s in America so no worries for us.”

“Exactly.”

Keiji facepalms. 

———————————————

“We’re home!” Koutaro and Tetsuro shout into the flat. 

Koutaro checks the doors and motions for Tetsuro to go and look for Tooru. The bedhead nods and starts shouting for the man. 

“TOORU! DUDE! WHERE ARE YOU—“

“I CAN’T EVEN TAKE A NICE BATH WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY YOU, YOU STUPID BEDHEAD!”

“EW! YOU LOOK LIKE AN OLD GRANDMA!”

Koutaro walks in on Tooru with a lime green face mask and screams. “HE TOOK TOORU’S BODY! TOORU WAS RIGHT! THE ALIENS ARE COMING!” he proceeds to run back in fear for his life, but slams into a wall and falls backward. 

“TOORU! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!”

“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”


	2. Getting Drunk on a Friday is Against the Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you don’t remember our ride from the cafe to the park because you wanted to swim in the fountain, and then you jumping into the bushes outside, all so that Tooru could come out and get me in trouble?”
> 
> “That was you?” Koutaro raises his head.
> 
> Tetsuro winks. “That was me.”
> 
> or:
> 
> Koutaro hates his mother, Keiji helps a drunk, and Tooru's being secretive.

“Well…what else should you get her?” Tetsuro asks. 

“Doesn’t she like sunflowers? Get her those.” Tooru offers. 

“Where do we even get flowers?” Bokuto raises a brow. 

Tetsuro scoffs. “A backyard. Duh.”

“It’s called a flower shop you idiots.” Kenma rolls his eyes and hands a bouquet of said flowers to Koutaro. “I knew you’d forget these.”

An all black car with extremely tinted windows pulls up beside their home to wait for Koutaro. He nervously bounces on the balls of his feet, leans back and forth, and keeps this going until a hand on his shoulder snaps him out of it. 

“Kou-chan, you’ll be fine. She’s still your mother and she loves you. She doesn’t judge, remember?” 

Koutaro manages a small smile. “Okay…okay…” he reassures himself. “Thanks guys.”

“Bye Koutaro.”

“Bye Kou-chan! Good luck!”

“We’ll wait for you to come back to us bro!”

Koutaro’s smile widens and he gets into the car. 

“Hello Koutaro,” the driver greets him. “It’s been a while.” 

“Well, here I am.” he nervously laughs. 

The driver hums in response. He turns the music on and hands Koutaro a bag of candy. 

“Here ya go. Get comfy.”

“Thank you.”

It’s not too long of a drive to the bar. 

Having been going there for a while now to meet his mother, it grew on him, and he was now okay with going there. Even if every once in a while, strangers tried to hit on him. 

Unconsciously, he lets out a loud sigh. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Bokuto shoves the candy onto the seat next to him and pouts. “Is mom even gonna make it this time? She either gets there right when the bar closes or doesn’t come at all. What do you think, Hiroshi?”

“I think that your mother cares about you very much. And I also think that she wishes her job allowed her to spend more time with you. If she didn’t, why would she waste time scheduling these?”

Koutaro thinks for a while. “…I guess you’re right.”

“We’re here.”

“Thanks again Hiroshi.”

“Good luck Koutaro.”

Koutaro hops out of the car and walks into the bar. He looks around for his mother and finds no sign of her, so he decides to go to his usual spot. 

The back corner.

He waits a few minutes. Half an hour. An hour. 2 hours. Then after the third hour, he growls and throws the flowers onto the counter. Taking a seat on the stools, he decides to order some drinks for himself. “Hey, can I get some whiskey over here?” he asks the familiar bartender. 

“Bokuto-kun, your mother—“

“—isn’t here. The cup of whiskey, please.”

After giving an unsure frown, the bartender hands Koutaro the glass. “Don’t drink too much,” he warns before walking away to attend to the others. 

And so Koutaro goes back to waiting while drinking. Four hours. Five hours. 

By the sixth hour, he was a bit more than buzzed, but not crazy drunk. 

“Fuck,” he curses as he wobbles out of his seat. “Hey! Akira!” he calls for the man behind the bar.

“Yes Bokuto?” 

“Is Hiroshi still outside?”

“Yes. I’ll walk you.”

“No…no need. I can do this on my…my own.” he points to the flowers. “Tell my mother that those…are for her…”

“Of course.”

Koutaro takes one last sip before heading back outside where the cold slaps him in the face. 

“Okay…car…where is the car…”

Oh. The car had been in front of him the whole time. 

“Come on Koutaro. Get in.” Hiroshi opens the door for him, as he had been waiting for the whole six hours. 

“Whatever you say Hiro—” the rest of the man’s name disappears on his tongue as he falls into the seat. 

———————————————

“Goodnight Konoha-san.” 

Keiji watches as said boy exits the shop, leaving him to take care of it for a while longer. 

Not that he minded of course.

It seemed to have been a good day for Akaashi. He was able to get his homework done for the week, managed to snag a few more hours of sleep, and was left with his favorite shift: The night shift. 

The night shift meant not too many people came, as they were either getting drunk or sleeping. Which meant less work for Keiji and more time to study while waiting. 

“—So can I—you tonight…” 

Keiji raises his head at the sound of singing coming from outside the shop. 

_‘Is that in English?’_ he wonders to himself. 

“Just how I….feel…” 

Keiji ignores it. Drunks always wandered around the streets at night anyways. Back to his reading. 

Ah, but the world hates Akaashi Keiji. 

The bell rings, and Keiji is forced to set down his book. 

“Welcome to—Bokuto-san!?”

And Keiji was right too. Drunks did always wander around. Just not into the shop. 

“Bokuto-san, are you all right?”

Koutaro clumsily walks toward his seat—the back corner—and slumps in the cushioned chair. 

Keiji follows with a cup of chamomile tea and sits down across from Koutaro. 

“Here you go. Please drink up.”

Instead of doing just that, Koutaro narrows his eyes at the appearance of the man in front of him. “Hajime?” he asks.

“Um, no, Bokuto-san—“

“HAJI! IT’S BEEN SO LONG!” 

“—I am not who you think I am…” Keiji murmurs. “Do you need me to call Kuroo-san?”

“NO! DON’T CALL TETSU! HE’LL GET MAD AT ME!” 

For being so quiet during the day, Koutaro was awfully loud when he was drunk. 

Against Koutaro’s wishes, Keiji calls Tetsuro. 

“Kuroo-san, your friend is here. Bokuto-san, I mean. And he’s drunk.”

**_“Oh man…I’ll be right there Akaashi. Take care of him for a bit.”_ **

“Of course.” 

Keiji puts his phone down and sits back down with Koutaro 

“Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san will be coming to pick you up. Please drink the tea.”

Koutaro scrunches his face. “I thought we agreed not to call him! Haji, you _liar!_ ” he whisper shouts. 

_‘Why is he whispering?’_

“Bokuto-san, it’s for the best. Please drink the tea.” 

“Haji, you’ll never believe what happened today!” 

Keiji bites back a sigh. “What happened?”

“I was supposed to meet my mother for drinks! But she totally flaked out on me, like always!”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah! And I even got her favorite flowers and that bracelet she’s been wanting. OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE BRACELET! WAIT! DON’T SAY ANYTHING! I HAVE TO FIND IT!”

Koutaro removes his blazer and digs around in his pockets. When there’s nothing in there, he checks his pants. “AHA! I found it!” he pulls out a small box from his right pocket and sets it down on the table. “Okay, you can talk now!”

“I’m sorry your mother didn’t go.” 

“It’s cool! I don’t know why I still get my hopes up anyways. She almost never comes! Actually, I got a really good idea Hajime!”

“What is it?”

“Give me your wrist!”

“Bokuto-san—“

“Come on Haji!”

Keiji finally lets out his sigh and brings his arm forward. 

“Okay! Close your eyes!”

Keiji does as told. There’s a sudden cold feeling that causes him to hiss. Gentle, nimble fingers softly brush over his skin, eliciting goosebumps all over his body.

“And done! Open your eyes!”

Keiji waits for a few seconds for his eyes to focus. When they do, he lets out a gasp.

“Bokuto-san, I can’t take this...It’s for your mother!”

“My mother doesn’t like the things I give her anyways! Besides, you’re my best friend Haji! Please!”

The puppy eyes Koutaro gave him had an effect on Keiji. Was he really turning soft? “F-fine…” he mumbles. 

“I’M HERE TO PICK UP A DRUNK OWL!” Tetsuro walks over to their table and gives Keiji a knowing smirk. “Nice bracelet Akaashi.”

“Please shut up Kuroo-san.”

“TETSUROOOO!” Koutaro jumps onto the man. 

“Let’s get you home bud. Thanks Akaashi! I owe you one!”

“No need. It’s okay.”

Tetsuro helps Koutaro up and leads him to the exit. 

“Bye Hajime!” Koutaro shouts over his shoulder. 

Keiji waves. 

“Bye…bye Bokuto-san.”

———————————————

“I can’t believe he got drunk on a Friday…that’s like—against the law or something.” Tooru whispers over to Tetsuro. 

“He looks dead. Should we try poking him again?”

“He’ll bite our fingers off. I say we grab the broom and use it to poke him.”

“He’ll probably bite that off too.”

“I can literally hear you.”

Tetsuro and Tooru straighten up immediately. 

“Kou-chan, are you feeling okay? You’re making that one face where you…”

Koutaro’s glare has Tooru trailing off and whimpering.

The hungover boy was currently dealing with a headache and nausea, causing him to get into one of his moods.

“I feel like I’m dying…” he groans. 

“Well that’s normal! You did get drunk yesterday!” Tetsuro exclaims. 

“Did I do anything stupid?”

“Well, you tried microwaving a cup of water, but it didn’t fit, so you poured some of the water onto the floor thinking that would fix it.” Tooru shoots finger guns at him. “And you told us to turn off the lights because it was cold.”

“Was I drunk or high? I would never do those while drunk.”

“Bro, you ate like three edibles right after. I gotta tell Tendou to stop giving you them.”

“And Suna.” Tooru adds onto Tetsuro’s statement. 

“Oh yeah. And Suna.”

Koutaro groans again. “I don’t even remember much. I’m pretty sure Hiroshi dropped me off here after the bar.”

“So you don’t remember our ride from the cafe to the park because you wanted to swim in the fountain, and then you jumping into the bushes outside, all so that Oikawa could come out and get me in trouble?” 

“That was you?” Koutaro raises his head.

Tetsuro winks. “That was me.”

“You two are a disaster.”

“What even happened man? With your mom?” 

Koutaro walks over to the couch and buries his face into the cushions. “Mom didn’t show up. I was waiting for HOURS! I just took a few drinks, then left. I left the flowers there for her…and I think I even brought her a gift…I don’t know…I think I did…maybe. I can’t even remember what happened after that.”

“Well,” Tetsuro puts a hand on his chin in thought. “Hiroshi called and said he dropped you off here, but I looked outside and didn’t see you. I was gonna go out and look for you, but then Akaashi called me—“

“Who’s Akaashi?” Tooru and Koutaro ask in unison.

“Guy at the cafe.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so he called me and said you were there at the cafe. When I got there, he was totally taking care of you. Tea and everything.” 

Koutaro sinks deeper into the couch. “I’m never leaving the house. This is my darkest hour.”

“Kou-chan! Don’t be so down! All you have to do is go say sorry! Thank him for taking care of you and that’s all!”

“My mind says no.”

“But we are saying yes!” Tetsuro drags him up before he could suffocate. “We’ll even go with you!”

“Ah, I can’t go actually.” 

Tooru’s meek voice brought Koutaro’s attention to said man. He hadn’t even realized how nicely dressed Tooru was. 

“Wait a damn minute…” Koutaro murmurs. “You haven’t hung out with us all week. What’s going on?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all! I’ve been planning something for a while now, and I have to go meet with the people for it! It’s nothing too bad!” 

“Cryptic.” Tetsuro says as he chews on a piece of bacon. 

Tooru awkwardly scratches the nape of his neck. “Well, it is a surprise! You’ll be fine without me! Board games tonight?”

The two men on the couch slowly nod. 

“Okay! Well, I’ll get going then!”

Tooru leaves the house in a rush and immediately digs around his pockets for his phone. Once he finds it, he calls one of his closest friends. 

“Iwa-chan? Is it all set?”

**_“If you stopped calling me so many times, I’d have enough time to do the rest shit face.”_ **

“I’m sorry okay!? But everything has to be perfect! I can’t believe Kou-chan forgot his own birthday…”

**_“I want to make sure Koutaro has the best birthday too, but isn’t throwing a party one of the last things he’d want?”_ **

“It won’t be a big party!” Tooru defends himself. “Just the people he’s comfortable with. I have to go now! I need to meet with Mr. Refreshing. Bye Iwa-chan!”

**_“Bye trashykawa.”_ **

Tooru lets out a sigh of relief. “I am grace. I am beauty. I am power. I am grace. I am beauty. I am power.” he repeats to himself. 

Okay. He felt a bit better now. 

“Oikawa?” a deep voice rings behind him. 

Tooru turns around and widens his eyes. 

“Fucking hell.” he mutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohoho i can't wait for the next chapter lol. i hope you liked it!!! make sure to stay hydrated too!
> 
> author fact 1: in this au, i base all of bokuto's thoughts, habits, words and actions on me. his character is heavily influenced by things i do on the daily. i chose bokuto for this story because his personality is the closest to mine.
> 
> Next Time: The Audacity of Oikawa Toory
> 
> (yes i meant to spell his name like that)


	3. The Audacity of Oikawa Toory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Tendou isn’t so bad.” Koutaro interjects.
> 
> “HE OFFERED TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH ME!”
> 
> “Again I say, he isn’t so bad.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro and Keiji properly meet after a hectic night.

“Nice bracelet Akaashi. Secret admirer?” Akinori eyes the jewelry around the boy’s wrist. 

“It’s from a friend.”

“Hmm. That’s one hell of a friend if they’d give ya something that expensive. And since when did you have friends!?”

“Did someone order flowers and…a huge box?” Kei points to the delivery man struggling to get through the door. 

“Oh! Let me help you with those.” Keiji rushes over to help. 

“Is there an Akaashi Keiji here?” the man asks. 

“That would be me.”

“Well, these are for you. Enjoy.” 

Keiji furrows his eyebrows and watches as the man leaves. He looks down at the box on the floor and the flowers in his hands. “Um…” his eyes dart between the two.

“So, I’m guessing you do have a secret admirer.” Akinori walks towards Keiji. “Tsukki! Come help carry the box!”

“I’d rather not.”

“TSUKKI YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

“You said that already.”

“WELL IT’S TRUE!”

“Please help me with the box Konoha-san.” Keiji mutters.

“Sorry, sorry.”

The two manage to lift the box and put it in the backroom, where they stare at it as if it would open itself. 

“Well? Are you gonna open it?”

“There’s a note.” 

“Um, yeah. For you.”

Keiji carefully picks up the card that was hidden by the flowers and reads it out loud. 

“Dear Akaashi Keiji—“

“I KNEW YOU HAD A SECRET ADMIRER!”

“—I wanted to say sorry for giving you trouble the other night. That was really embarrassing, so I’m just going to act like it never happened. You can keep the bracelet!! I didn’t know what kind of things you liked, so I got you everything I thought you would find cool or something. I’m really sorry again! From…Bokuto Koutaro.”

“BOKUTO!? BOKUTO IS YOUR SECRET ADMIRER!?” 

“Konoha-san.” 

“…sorry. But what’s this about ‘the other night’? Did you two…?”

“I did no such thing. I was...helping him. He was drunk and so I waited with him while Kuroo-san came to pick him up.”

“Well that’s boring.”

“Wait…” Keiji slowly turns to the older. “How do you know Bokuto-san?”

“Who doesn’t?” Akinori chuckles. “He was also my volleyball teammate/captain in high school.”

Keiji hums in response. “What high school did you go to?” 

“Fukurodani Academy.”

“Ah, I got a recommendation to go there, but I went to Suzumeoka.” 

“Akaashi!! We could’ve met you way sooner if you went to Fukurodani!”

“Maybe…”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it! Take the rest of the day off! Besides, you only had like half an hour left on your shift.”

“Thank you Konoha-san.”

“Of course! I am your senpai after all!”

Keiji rolls his eyes and waves him off. “Goodbye Konoha-san.”

Once he was sure the man had left, Keiji makes sure to clock out, call for a taxi and take the box. After an agonizing walk up the stairs and into his dorm, he drops the box on the floor. 

“So heavy…” he complains. 

The box is almost intimidating to him. It was fairly large and extremely heavy, which left Keiji curious as to what Koutaro had chosen for him. 

He couldn’t wait any longer. 

Keiji tears the box open and digs through all the packaging peanuts to find individually packaged gifts. 

He picks the first one he sees—a medium box with gold wrapping paper—and carefully tears it off. 

A framed picture of an owl. 

The rest of the presents? All owl-related. 

———————————————

“So let me get this straight—“ Tetsuro closes his eyes. “—you spent 10,000 yen on just presents for Akaashi?”

“There’s nothing straight about it,” Koutaro shrugs. “But yeah.”

“DUDE!”

“What!? I didn’t want to head over there where he could make fun of me and then tell everyone about how drunk I was!”

“Akaashi wouldn’t do that! He’s kind of nice, I guess!”

“He looks really mean.”

“Well, you won’t know unless you actually try to get to know him!”

“There’s no reason to get to know him!”

“Except for the fact that he took care of you! This could be a chance at a new and beautiful friendship!”

“But I already have you!”

Tetsuro wipes away a fake tear. “Bro…”

“I’VE GIVEN UP ON HUMANS! I ONLY TRUST ALIENS NOW!” Tooru slams the door shut, interrupting the bromantic moment between Tetsuro and Koutaro. 

“What did Ushijima say this time.” Tetsuro smirks. 

“HE DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING. I WAS IN HIS PRESENCE FOR LONGER THAN THREE MINUTES! THAT WAS ENOUGH TO GIVE ME NIGHTMARES!”

“Mmm…are you sure he didn’t say anything like—“

“HE TOLD ME THAT TOO!”

Koutaro laughs and motions for Tooru to join him and Tetsuro on the couch. “How’d you even run into him?”

Tooru falls face-first into the cushions and lets out a wail. After screaming his feelings out, he lifts his face to look at the other two. “I was meeting someone for lunch, and while going over, I saw him AND TENDOU!”

“Hey, Tendou isn’t so bad.” Koutaro interjects.

“HE OFFERED TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH ME!”

“Again I say, he isn’t so bad.”

“Tooru, stop being so loud.” Kenma walks into the flat next. “I could hear you from outside.”

“KENMAAA!” Tetsuro hops off the couch to go hug his boyfriend. 

Kenma simply moves to the side to avoid a flying Tetsuro and slumps onto their beanbag. “So what did Ushijima do this time?” he asks, never taking his eyes off his game. 

“He stood in the presence of the grand king for longer than a minute.” Koutaro explains. 

“Yeah and then Tendou offered to have a threesome.” Tetsuro adds on. He grabs Kenma by the arm and leads him to the couch, where he places the smaller one in his lap. 

“Hmm…that’s not so bad.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”

“Now that I think about, who would top?” Kouatro scratches his chin in thought. 

Tetsuro rolls his eyes. “Ushijima. Duh.”

“I always thought Tendou-san would.” Kenma mumbles. 

“What about me?” Tooru pouts. 

“No offense Tooru, but you’re a whole ass bottom.” Koutaro offers a sad smile. 

Tooru’s jaw drops. 

“Anyways, Kenma, you know Akaashi right?” Tetsuro nudges the man.

Kenma nods. 

“Kou got drunk, Akaashi took care of him, and now Kou doesn’t want to go and thank him in person.”

“Akaashi would appreciate it if you told him face to face.” Kenma immediately answers without having to be asked. 

“See! I told you bro!” 

“Yeah, but it’s not like they’re best friends or anything. Besides, didn’t Kou-chan send a gift already? Isn’t that enough?” Tooru’s head falls onto Bokuto’s lap. 

“Tooru’s the only one who understands me.”

“Tooru, you’re only agreeing with Kou because you still like him.” Tetsuro crosses his arms. 

Tooru jumps up in an instant to try and hide his burning face. “WHAT THE HELL GAVE YOU THAT IDEA TETSU-CHAN!?”

The phone rings, breaking the soon to start argument. 

“I’ll get it.” Tetsuro offers. He carefully scoops Kenma up and out of his lap, then goes to the kitchen to answer it. 

When the bed head returns from the call, he walks in on a shocked Kenma, Tooru, and Koutaro. 

“What?” Tetsuro asks in confusion. 

“You’re…evil…you just…took me off.” Kenma mumbles. 

“Kitten—“

“How could you? The betrayal is just…wow. I’m running away. I’m packing a backpack and leaving. I can no longer thrive in this house.” 

“Dude…that was heartbreaking to see.” Koutaro shakes his head in disappointment. 

“I’m going to cry.” Tooru sniffles.

“WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS AGAINST ME!?”

“I can’t bear to be near you.” Kenma closes his eyes slowly. “I’m taking the bush cats with me—” 

“NO! NOT THE CATS!”

“—and their kitten.”

“BABE NO!”

“Can I visit them sometime? As their uncle, I have a right.” Koutaro looks over to Kenma. 

“I’ll allow it.”

“Me too Ken-chan!” 

“You too I guess.”

“BABE!” Tetsuro throws himself onto Kenma. “PLEASE!”

“No.”

After attempting to calm down a whining Tetsuro, Kenma turns to Koutaro and offers some advice. 

“Koutaro, I think it’d be best if you told Akaashi how grateful you are in person. And you’re going to run into him eventually, especially since you like it there so much.”

Kouatro leans his head against the couch and slowly nods. “I guess I could go over there.”

“By the way Tetsu-chan,” Tooru eyes the man, “Who was on the phone?”

“About that…”

Koutaro lowers his head back down to look at his friend, who was already staring at him. 

“Koutaro...your mom was asking for you.” 

———————————————

It was officially Monday, and Keiji already had a headache. 

Some lady had walked back into the shop and demanded a refill for her apparently ruined drink (it wasn’t ruined). 

After she left, Keiji had gotten a call that Akinori wasn’t going to be able to make it into work, as he was sick. This left Keiji with even more work. 

And to top it off, he still hadn’t seen Koutaro since Friday night. 

Every time the bell rang, he expected it to be the boy, but to his disappointment, it never was. 

“Jeez, I’m happy to see you too.” Kenma comments on Keiji’s frown.

“Sorry. I just keep expecting it to be—“

“—Koutaro? Yeah, he should be walking in soon.”

Keiji’s eyes race to the door, and sure enough, there he was. 

“And now that he’s here, I’ll be hiding in the back room.” Kenma slips off the stool and walks away. 

By then, Koutaro had taken a seat at his table and was messing around with the still too tight bracelets around his wrist. 

Keiji gulps and goes over to him. “Nice to see you again, Bokuto-san.”

Koutaro nervously laughs. “Akaashi right? Hey!”

“May I take a seat?”

Koutaro vigorously nods. 

“You seem much more…confident, if I do say so myself.”Keiji breaks the silence. 

“Well, you already saw me while drunk! That should make us pretty close! Unless you don’t want to be! Then I totally get it! My mom always tells me that sometimes people don’t really wanna be friends. And that I come off as overbearing. She’s probably right…hm, is that why that one lady kept staring at me? I knew—“

“Bokuto-san, you're not overbearing.” Keiji cuts him off. "And as for the friends part, I think it'd be nice to be your friend." Woaaah did Keiji just make a friend on his own? Akinori would be proud. 

“You—You would?” Koutaro says in disbelief.

Keiji nods. 

“Oh…wow…that’s…that’s great.”

“Is something bothering you?” 

Kotaro shifts around in his seat and doesn’t answer.

“I understand if you don’t want to, but I think letting it out would help you feel better.”

Koutaro sighs. “It’s been a bad day for me today…”

“Why is that?”

Koutaro hesitates. “I…I don’t know…” he murmurs. 

The answer seems to lower his mood even more. 

Keiji notices this. “Why don’t you tell me a story?”

Bokuto lifts his head up. “You wanna hear a story…from me?”

“Yes, I do.” 

“About what?”

“Anything.” 

Koutaro finally smiles. “This one happened a few years ago. It’s when I met my best friend, Tooru. We were in our second year.”

———————————————

_“And so Oikawa started flirting with me, and it made me feel all uncomfortable and stuff, so I just ran out!” Koutaro throws his hands up._

_“Kuroo did nothing about it?” Kenma raises a brow._

_“No! Nothing at all! I felt so betrayed!”_

_“I’m sorry that happened Bokuto. I know you don’t like meeting so many people all at once.”_

_Koutaro grumbles. “Yeah…now I’m really mad at Kuroo.”_

_“I’m mad at him too now.”_

_Kenma and Tetsuro both knew about how Koutaro felt when there were too many new people around him. It made him want to run away or even cry._

_So when Kenma heard that Tetsuro hadn’t helped Koutaro, it irritated him. A lot._

_“Bokuto! Bro, you in here hiding?” Tetsuro’s head pops out from said boy’s doorway._

_He meets the glare of his two friends._

_“What did I do now?”_

_“I have no words for you Kuroo.” Kenma looks back at his phone._

_Koutaro hums in agreement and continues carding his fingers through Kenma’s black hair._

_“Well, I have no time for fights! Meet: OIKAWA TOORY!”_

_The team captain from today’s practice game walks in to stand alongside Kuroo and holds up a peace sign. “Yahoo! And the name’s Oikawa TOORU!”_

_Tetsuro sends a smile to the other two._

_Koutaro leans his head back and sighs._

_“Wow, this day just got a lot worse.”_

_It didn’t take long for Tooru and Koutaro to begin arguing. Loudly._

_“The AUDACITY!” Koutaro shakes his head. “This is worse than the first kiss.”_

_“Wait, where you accidentally kissed Oikawa because—“_

_Koutaro cuts Kenma off as to not hear anymore. “Yes! Worse than that! And worse than the time KUROO COMPLETELY BROKE MY MIRROR! NO WONDER I’VE HAD BAD LUCK! IT CAME BACK IN THE FORM OF TOORY!”_

_“I CAN HEAR YOU!” Tooru shouts across the table._

_“SHUT UP METHANE!”_

_“Bro.” Tetsuro bites back a laugh. “That’s—“_

_Tooru glares. “I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT IT SOUNDS MEAN AND I DON’T LIKE IT!”_

_“YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE TOORY!”_

_“IT’S ‘TOORU’!”_

_“ENOUGH!” Kenma screams._

_All is quiet as he goes back to his composed self, acting like it never happened._

_“Kuroo, you were in the wrong too! You know how Bokuto feels around new people!” Kenma scolds._

_Tetsuro looks down at his feet in shame._

_“Um…Bo-chan…are you…alright?” Tooru softly asks._

_Kenma and Tetsuro turn to look at Koutaro, who was silently crying into his hand._

_“Bokuto…” Tetsuro whispers._

_“Is he okay?” Tooru asks._

_“He’s overwhelmed.” Kenma replies. “It was too much for him in a day.”_

_Tetsuro runs over to Koutaro and wraps his arms around him. “Bo…I’m really sorry…I…there’s no excuse…I’m just sorry.”_

_Kenma is next to join the hug, although his form of ‘hugging’ is just grabbing hold of Koutaro’s arm._

_Tooru bites his lip in embarrassment. He sighs and joins in on the hug._

_“Maybe…Maybe you’re not so bad after all Toory.”_

_“Same to you Bo-chan.”_

———————————————

“I know it’s kind of stupid…me crying because of that.” Koutaro sheepishly admits. 

“It’s—It’s not stupid. Who told you that was stupid?”

Koutaro gives a sad smile. “My parents. Friends. Sometimes Kuroo when he’s mad at me.” 

Keiji reaches out to hold Koutaro’s hand. “It’s not stupid. Please don’t ever think that.” 

Koutaro widens his eyes and stares at the unfamiliar warmth. 

Keiji retracts his hand quickly. “I’m sorry. I’ve overstepped my boundaries.”

“No.” Koutaro reaches for Keiji’s hand. “Do it again.”

Keiji smiles. 

Their two hands meet and stay interlocked as Keiji listens to more entertaining stories of the four. 

“Hey, Akaashi?”

“Yes Bokuto-san?”

“Thanks for listening to me talk.”

“Of course Bokuto-san.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, things are finally moving forward. i'm really excited for the next chapters! have a good day/night!!!
> 
> author fact: I refuse to believe I'm lactose intolerant. i cant handle having my dairy rights stripped away from me like that.
> 
> Next Time: I Just Need the Extra Money


	4. I Just Need the Extra Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah well...” Tetsuro begins.
> 
> Tooru turns to him with a glare. 
> 
> “…At least me and Kou made it to nationals.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro calls his mother but she's as cold as always. Luckily, Keiji is there to help him feel better.

Koutaro lets out a loud sigh. He places the phone to his ear once more and waits for the person on the other end of the line to pick up. 

**_“What do you need Koutaro?”_ **

“Nice to hear from you too mother.”

**_“What’s wrong? Are you in some kind of trouble?”_ **

“Is it so wrong to want to talk to my mother?”

 ** _“Koutaro, I’m jet-lagged and—“_** there’s a beeping on her end that interrupts her. ** _“—I need to take this call. We’ll talk later.”_**

Koutaro waits for another response before realizing she had hung up. He lowers the phone and restrains himself from throwing it across the room. “Nice talking to you too…” he whispers.

“Here man.” Tetsuro offers him a cup of hot chocolate. “She didn’t want to talk?”

Koutaro presses his lips in a firm line and shakes his head. Instead of drinking from the cup, he sets it down on the coffee table and quickly curls into himself. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Through the white strands of his hair, Koutaro stares at Tetsuro. He’s looking for the lie, expecting to find it. But all he can see is the genuine worry.

“Kou man…you haven’t eaten a single cheerio since Monday. And it’s a Wednesday today…”

“I think…” Koutaro clears his throat. “…I think my mother wants me to go visit Yoshimi.”

Tetsuro grimaces at the name. “What!? Why!? She knows that guy is such a dick!”

“I know…I know…but I think she has this idea that—that if I go, I’ll take over the company and she’ll get more money...or something…”

“Dude…what a bitch. No offense.”

Koutaro slightly smiles.

“Well, what do you want to do?” Tetsuro asks. 

“I…I don’t know. I feel like if I go, mother will be happy. But once I land in Hyogo, Yoshimi will be all over my ass and shit. Trying to get me out of volleyball and follow in his footsteps.”

“Why don’t you tell him it’s not for you?”

“I have! I’ve tried telling him that I want to go pro for volleyball! But he doesn’t listen!” Koutaro’s voice cracks.

Tetsuro’s eyes widen. “Koutaro…”

“I—I have to go…walk…yeah…I’m gonna go on a walk.” 

Koutaro gets up, slips his shoes on, and runs out the door without looking back.

Not too many minutes later, there’s a knock on the door. 

“Koutaro, did you forget—“

“Koutaro? Where is he?” the man at the door asks. 

“H-He just left…how long have you been in the city for?” Tetsuro motions for him to enter the flat.

“Just got here yesterday! Daichi’s still unpacking at our house, but I wanted to see Koutaro.” the man frowns. “What happened now?” 

“His mom called. Koutaro thinks he’s gonna be forced to see Yoshimi again.”

“The CEO dad?”

“Yeah, that one.”

The visitor runs a hand through his silver hair and sighs. “Can I wait here until he gets back?”

“Last time Koutaro ran, we had to bring him back from America. You sure you wanna wait for him again?”

“He’ll be back.”

“And how do you know that? You rely on your guys’ friendship too much, Koushi.”

Sugawara Koushi looks at Tetsuro from the corner of his eye.

“He’ll be here, Tetsuro.”

———————————————

“Okay now…” Tooru crosses his arms over his chest. “…what the hell do you people want?”

Tendou Satori grins. “Don’t be so gloomy Oikawa! As your friends, we came here to help you plan Bokuto-kun’s birthday! Isn’t that right Wakatoshi?”

“Indeed.”

Tooru inhales deeply. “BUT YOU ALWAYS END UP GETTING HIM EITHER DRUNK, HIGH, OR LAID! THIS IS A BIRTHDAY HE DESERVES TO REMEMBER!”

“I think he was pretty fine with the getting laid part though.” Satori taps his chin. 

“Didn’t he enjoy the female model from Miyagi?” Ushijima Wakatoshi asks. 

“He did Wakatoshi-kun! See Oikawa? I don’t understand what’s so wrong with letting Bokuto enjoy his birthday the way he wants!”

“Kou-chan is EVIL for WEEKS after his birthday! I will not allow him to forget all the hard work I put into this just because of a STUPID hangover!”

“Hm…are you sure that’s the only reason?” Wakatoshi raises a brow. “If I recall, you have been wanting to capture his attention since high school.”

“SHUT UP USHIWAKA! YOU DON’T GET AN OPINION!”

“He’s right though.” Satori smirks. “Is there any other reason as to why you’re doing this?”

“Of course not! Kou-chan is my best friend! I-I just want what’s best for him!” 

“Sure, sure.”

“NOW ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR NOT!?”

“Satori, I have to go. I was supposed to meet Shirabu a few minutes ago.” Wakatoshi kisses his boyfriend goodbye. “Goodbye Oikawa—“

“If you give me a goodbye kiss, I will murder you.”

“I was going to say, you should’ve—“

“I’M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!!”

“Bye Wakatoshi!!”

Once Wakatoshi leaves, Satori leans forward to look at Tooru’s notes for the party. 

“So what do we have left to plan?”

“Let’s start with the cake. You still know how to make one right?”

“Um, with or without wee—“

“Without. And make it lemon. He loves lemon.”

Satori doesn’t fail to miss the longing look in Tooru’s eyes but chooses not to comment on it.

“How is Bokuto-kun? Has he been doing better?”

“Well…I’m sure he has. He got a call from his mother, but I had to leave before he could tell me what it was about.”

Satori hums in response. 

“Okay…now for the food.”

“I’m sure we can just bring pizzas and stuff. Bokuto-kun eats everything.”

“Good idea.”

“You know Oikawa,” Satori starts. “This is a lot you’re doing for Bokuto-kun.” 

“Well of course. He’s my best friend.”

“So you’ve said.”

Tooru scoffs. “What other reason could there be?”

Satori waves him off. “Nothing, nothing.”

“Okay, now for the invites. There can’t be too many people. Just the ones he knows and is comfortable with.”

“I’m sure you have that all written down.”

“Yes, I do…I was just thinking.” 

“About?”

“Tetsu-chan mentioned this boy who had taken care of Kou-chan while he was drunk…I was wondering if I should invite him too.”

“Hm…why not ask Kuroo himself if it’s a good idea?”

“Good thinking. This will be the only time I compliment you.” 

They go over a few more details before finishing. 

“There! That should do it!” Tooru exclaims. “I hope Kou-chan likes it.”

The corners of Satori’s lips curl up at this. 

“It’s inevitable, Oikawa. I can easily predict this one...” 

Tooru glares. “What are you talking about?” 

“…You’re still in love with Bokuto Koutaro.” 

———————————————

“So, do you plan on going?” 

Keiji turns to Kenma with a raised brow. “To Bokuto-san’s birthday party? I haven’t known him for very long, I don’t want to intrude.”

“Akaashi, you’ve been studying a lot lately and deserve a break. Besides, you’ve seen him while he was drunk. That makes you guys close already.”

“Is that the only reason you’re telling me about this party?”

Kenma narrows his eyes, then lets out a groan of frustration. “Tetsuro is making me go. And yeah, I care a lot for Koutaro, but parties aren’t my thing.”

“You could’ve just said that you know.”

“Will you go or not?”

“I’ll think about it.” Keiji spins in his chair and goes back to writing his notes down. 

The two were currently hiding from the outside world in their shared dorm. Kenma was laying on his bed, game in hand, while Keiji was…distracting himself. 

You see, Keiji was currently in a predicament. He was very, very aware of what happened on Monday. 

He had held hands with Koutaro. 

Now, Keiji doesn’t just do that with anyone. But the look on Koutaro’s face when he was telling his story was so intriguing, Keiji couldn’t help but want to touch him. And yet, he felt as though he messed up, because it was Wednesday, and he still hadn’t seen the boy. 

It made Keiji wonder if he had scared Koutaro off, or even worse, made him feel uncomfortable. Keiji was sure that if that was the case, Koutaro would’ve spoken up. 

It hits Keiji hard. He freezes up and gasps. 

He wanted to see Koutaro again. He wanted to hold hands with Koutaro again. He wanted to protect Koutaro from whatever bad thoughts he had about himself. 

_‘That’s not possible Keiji,’_ he reminds himself, _‘You haven’t had human contact in forever. Nothing special.’_

Yeah, nothing special. 

Keiji pushes himself away from his desk and begins dressing for work. 

“What’re you doing? You don’t have any shifts today.”

“I could use the extra money.”

“No, you don’t…” Kenma widens his eyes in realization. “You want to see Koutaro again don’t you?”

Keiji scrunches his face in annoyance. “It’s work,” he grits his teeth.

“But you hate work. And I could hear you mumbling his name.”

“I-I just want to check up on him! See if he’s doing okay! Is that so wrong?”

“I can’t believe it. The quiet Akaashi wants to see the loud Koutaro. It had to happen sometime.”

“Could you not be so blunt about it? Besides, isn’t that technically you and Kuroo-san’s relationship?”

“Don’t say his name out loud.”

Keiji finishes tying his shoes and grabs his personal items. “This petty argument you two are having is annoying. So he took you off his lap. Just…crawl back into it?”

Kenma scoffs. “You don’t understand this Akaashi. Get into a relationship with Koutaro first, then come talk to me.”

“It’s nothing like that!”

Keiji arrives at the cafe and immediately checks the back corner. There’s no Bokuto Koutaro.

“Akaashi? Are you sick? Why’re you here?” Akinori worryingly looks over at his co-worker. 

“I…could use the extra money.”

“You wanna see Bokuto again don’t you?”

 _‘How do people know this!?’_ Keiji grimaces. 

“I cannot believe it. YOU wanna see BOKUTO KOUTARO!”

“Sure Konoha-san. Scream it out for the rest of the world to hear.”

“My bad,” Akinori lowers his voice, “Since when have you taken any interest in people?”

“I’m interested in many people.”

“No, you’re not! Don’t lie to me Akaashi! You’ve been pulled into Bokuto’s orbit!”

“Can I just please take the night shift?”

“Of course Akaashi. I can’t stand in the way of SOULMATES!”

“Can you stop being so loud about it?”

———————————————

“I should’ve known better than to leave it all to the bed-head.” Tooru scolds himself out loud.

“I’m standing right here!” Tetsuro glares. 

“Can you children _not_ right now?” Koushi rubs his temples. “We’re here for Koutaro, NOT TO FIGHT!”

Tetsuro and Tooru cross their arms and turn away from each other. 

“He should be here any moment…” Koushi mumbles. 

“I’m home!” Koutaro calls. Once he enters the living room, he freezes. “Koushi! What’re you doing here!?”

Koushi cheers and runs to hug Koutaro. “Koutaro! I missed you so much!”

“Is this jealousy I’m feeling?” Tetsuro whispers over to Tooru, argument already forgotten.

“Yup. Get used to it.”

“H-How’s Daichi? Was your trip okay!? Are you jet-lagged? Tired? Hungry? We have some food if you want—“

Koushi laughs and tugs on Koutaro to guide the male onto the couch next to him. 

“I’m doing just fine. And Daichi is still at our apartment. I wanted to see you first!”

“O-Oh! That’s really nice!” Kouataro waves at Tetsuro and Tooru. “Hey guys!”

“He actually remembered us.” Tetsuro rolls his eyes. 

“Sorry!” 

“Koutaro, you see them on the daily. I’m still here!” Koushi whines. 

“Sorry! I’m paying full attention to you now!”

“I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO SEE KOU-CHAN IN THREE DAYS!”

“And whose fault is that?” Tetsuro hisses. 

“Do not start with me Tetsu-chan~”

Koushi holds Koutaro’s hands in his and smiles. “Tetsuro told me about the phone call. And about Yoshimi…”

Koutaro’s face falls. 

“This is a pretty big deal Koutaro.” Tetsuro turns serious. “This guy…he’s not the best person for you to be seeing, let alone be visiting.”

Tooru doesn’t speak. 

“You should think about how you’ll feel with him by your side all week.” Koushi offers some advice. “Is this really what you want?”

Koutaro nods at this. “Um…I think—I think I will go.”

“You cannot be serious.” Tooru’s voice turns dark. 

The three others look at him with blank stares. 

“What?” Koutaro finally asks. 

“Every single time you go visit him, he always messes with your head and gives you the worst advice! Why would you want that!?” Tooru spits out. “You know I would support you in anything. But this…I can’t with this.”

“He’s still my step-father, Tooru. I’m lucky he still wants to see me.”

“Koutaro, if you think this would be good for you, then I’ll support you.” Koushi smiles. 

“Seriously?” Tooru mumbles. “Tetsu-chan, please tell me you have some type of common sense.”

“I don’t know Tooru…This isn’t my decision to make. I’ll support Koutaro in anything.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Tooru, please. I want this…It’s not every day I get to visit my step-dads.”

Tooru huffs. “If it’s what you want, nothing I can do about it. Just…promise to call every day when you get there!”

Koutaro laughs. “Sure, I will.”

“I can’t stand looking at you pine after him. Just confess already Tooru!” Tetsuro shoves Tooru towards Koutaro. 

“TETSU-CHAN! HOW DARE YOU!”

As Tetsuro and Tooru begin arguing, Koutaro glances at Koushi to find the silver-haired boy already staring at him. 

“What is it?” Koutaro asks. 

“Nothing…It’s just—Your hair…You don’t have to gel it up anymore. I’m proud.”

“It’s nothing special…”

“But it’s a huge step!”

“I—I guess.”

“KOU-CHAN! TELL TETSURO THAT I DO NOT WASTE THE SHOWER WATER!”

Koutaro laughs. “Sure. Just this once,” he turns to Tetsuro, “Tooru does not waste the shower water.”

“I WIN TETSURO!”

“Yeah well...” Tetsuro begins. 

Tooru turns to him with a glare. 

“…At least me and Kou made it to nationals.” 

———————————————

“That’s basically it. I think Koushi is still over there…I’m not sure though...” Koutaro takes a sip of his tea. 

“So you just left after that?” Keiji hands a piece of his bread over to Koutaro.

Koutaro takes it and nods. “Mhm. I-It was kinda funny to be honest...”

Keiji gives a small smile. “I’m sure it was.” 

Koutaro gets up and takes his dishes to the sink in the back, then walks over to Keiji again. 

“Hey hey, Akaashi!! What are you doing after this?”

“Nothing really.”

Koutaro holds out a hand with a large grin. 

“Wanna take a walk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah i updated early haha. i lowkey feel bad for bokuto and his relationship with his mom, but it plays a really big part in this story. anyways, i'll see you guys next week. 
> 
> author fact: i have a headcanon that the reason bokuto is so fueled on praise is because he never got any as a kid. 
> 
> Next Time: This Means War


	5. This Means War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “TOORY!? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?”
> 
> “BRO HE WANTS YOUR MONEY! AND HE ATE ALL THE GUMMIES!”
> 
> “I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA BE IN THE LIMO YOU STUPIDS!” 
> 
> “AHHH! TETSU GET DOWN! HE’S GONNA KILL US!”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Keiji skips out on the party. Koutaro's bummed out, but Tooru quickly steps in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey! so one of the scenes in this chapter is one i recreated! it's originally from the movie dragon cry (fairytail). i saw it and immediately thought of the two boys, so i wrote it in! anyways, have a good read!

“Hurts…” Tetsuro groans. “It hurts…a lot…”

“Well, that’s what you get for bringing up nationals. You know it’s a sensitive subject for Tooru.” Kenma snickers. 

“How dare you laugh at my pain. You should be helping me.”

“It’s not my fault you got a black eye.”

“IT’S NOT THAT BAD!”

“Keep lying to yourself.”

“Please just tell me you love me. I’m already having a bad morning.”

Kenma sighs. “…I love you.”

“I LOVE YOU TOO KEN!”

“Open the door...Please.”

Tetsuro does as told and opens the door to ‘Downtown’—the cafe—and walks in after Kenma. 

“—And then I kind of just went ‘WAPOW!’ and the ball slammed onto their side! It was so cool! My hand kind of hurt after scoring, but it was okay because I won the game!” Koutaro’s loud voice was heard behind the counter.

“That sounds amazing Bokuto-san,” Keiji replies. 

Tetsuro raises a brow. “Since when have they—?”

“They get coffee every morning now. It’s a…thing, they have.”

“Yeah, you should come to my games sometimes! And cheer me on!” Koutaro continues. 

“Of course.”

“Hey hey hey! Tetsu! Kenma!” 

“Kou, dude! I didn’t know you came here now!” 

“I’m helping Akaashi! Kind of…”

“Good morning Kuroo-san, Kenma.”

“Morning.”

“Good morning Akaashi! I see you’re having a good time with Koutaro! A very good time huh!”

Keiji glares. “Kuroo-san, please, shut up.”

“What’re you guys doing here?” Koutaro bounces over to them. 

“We didn’t see you in your room, so we thought you had gone to class already.” Kenma answers. 

“And dude! We have a practice match today! Don’t tell me you already forgot!” 

Koutaro goes blank. “…huh?”

Tetsuro rolls his eyes. “Tooru’s going to kill you~” he sings. 

“OH! That gives me an idea! Akaashi, you should totally come to the practice game today!” 

Keiji gives Koutaro a side glance before shrugging. “What time is it at?” 

“Umm…I think it’s at 4?”

“6.” Tetsuro corrects. 

“Oh yeah. At 6. Can you come?”

“I’ll be there.” 

“YES! YOU CAN COME WITH KENMA! I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS NOW! COME ON TETSU!” 

Tetsuro runs after Koutaro, who had already fled the cafe. But soon he’s running back in to give Kenma a kiss on the cheek, an “I’ll see you after class”, then heading back out. 

“They’re so stupid sometimes.” Kenma shakes his head. 

Keiji hums. 

“I should get going too. I have the same class as them and they just forgot me.” 

“Of course. See you at Bokuto-san’s practice game?” 

“Yep.” 

Kenma soon leaves as Akinori comes running in. 

“SORRY I’M LATE! BOKUTO AND KUROO STARTED CHASING ME WITH A STICK AND I ALMOST GOT IMPALED.”

“Konoha-san, we haven’t even opened yet.” 

“Oh…Jeez, these classes are really messing with my brain. I had this weird dream that I saw you and Bokuto holding hands last night. OH WAIT! THAT DID HAPPEN! AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME!”

“Am I supposed to tell you?”

“YES!” 

“Stop yelling. You raise your voice too much.” 

“Akaashi!” Akinori whines. “You have to tell me this stuff! As your senpai, I am obligated to give you the best advice I can so you can chase after him!”

“No.”

“AKAASHII!” 

———————————————

“Bro. Is this war?” 

“Kou…It is. It’s totally war.” 

As the two were drying themselves off after their practice match, Koutaro was horrified to find that his water bottle had been filled with saltwater. And as soon as Tetsuro started laughing about it, he was then surprised to find out that his extra clothes had gone missing. 

What threw the two off even more was when they found a printed photo of Daishou Suguru sticking his tongue out and holding the missing clothes and salt in his hands. 

“We have to get him back Tetsu.”

“But what can we do?” 

“Please worry about that later! Tonight we’re having drinks to celebrate our win!” Tooru slaps the back of their heads.

“This isn’t a joke Toory!” Koutaro crosses his arms. “This is serious! Daishou just declared war on us!” 

“Exactly Toory! Please understand the seriousness of this!” 

“How serious can a prank war be? Those are for children.”

Tetsuro and Koutaro gasp. 

“Now, Kou-chan, can you call your driver? I love those little gummies he always has in the back.”

“You only ever use me for my money huh?”

“I DO NOT!”

“Yeah Kou. Toory here loves you _and_ your money.” Tetsuro smirks. 

“WOULD YOU STOP WITH THAT!?” 

“Hm. I always did think Toory looked at me for too long.” 

“Told ya. Your bro always knows best.”

“What idiots.” Tooru grumbles and walks out. 

“Okay, but dude, I gotta invite Akaashi to the party!” Koutaro waits for Tetsuro to finish putting on his borrowed clothes before continuing. “Do you think he’d even wanna go? OH, WE SHOULD TAKE HIM TO THE FLAT IN MY LIMO!” 

“Great idea, wrong time. I don’t think he’d want to go to someone’s house he’s known for a week.”

“We’ve known each other for two weeks actually!”

“Two weeks blah blah. Take it slow man. Akaashi’s not one to go too fast.”

“Hm…How do you know Akaashi anyway?”

“Ah.” Tetsuro smiles. “Kenma and he share a dorm. So whenever it’s my turn to go over to his place, Akaashi is usually there.”

“Hey, how come Kenma never introduced Akaashi to us then?”

“He didn’t think you’d be comfortable. He may not look it, but Ken really does care about his friends!” 

“Wow…That’s really nice. But about Akaashi…what you’re saying is to not invite him to the party?”

“No no no, you’ve got it all wrong my friend,” Tetsuro wraps an arm around Bokuto, “Invite him to the party. But the whole ‘limo and flat’ thing is kinda hard for people to get used to. Especially Akaashi!”

“But bro,” Koutaro stops walking, “Wouldn’t it make more sense to take him to the party in the limo, which is at the flat?” 

Tetsuro does a double-take. “Huh. I never thought about that. That works too.” 

“BRO WE TOTALLY FORGOT THEY CAME TO THE GAME!” 

“BRO!” 

Tetsuro and Koutaro shove each other to the side as they run to meet Kenma and Keiji.

“AKAASHIII! I’M SORRY WE TOOK SO LONG!” Koutaro bows down. 

“KEN KEN! I KNOW YOU MIGHT HATE ME BUT ME AND KOU GOT CARRIED AWAY BY OUR BRO TALK! I’M SORRY TOO!”

“Please get up, you’re embarrassing us.” Kenma rubs his temples. 

“I-It’s okay Bokuto-san, really. Great job winning the game. You looked amazing out there.”

“If I recall, Akaashi even said you looked like _‘a star’_.” Kenma smirks. 

Keiji elbows Kenma in the side, causing the shorter to let out a small ‘ACK!’. 

“Thanks Akaashi! You’re really amazing too! And super pretty! OH, I ALMOST FORGOT! We’re having an after-party because of the win! You should come! I’ll give you a ride!” 

Keiji freezes up. Him? Amazing? Pretty? Holy shit was this really happening? 

“Akaashi?” Koutaro puts a hand on the boy’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay? You’re all red and stuff.”

Oh my god, Koutaro was touching his face. And he’s blushing too? Why is Koutaro blushing? 

“Koutaro, we’ll go. But we actually have to head to the dorm for a quick shower. We’ll meet you at the flat.” Kenma helps a still frozen Keiji.

Koutaro frowns and removes his hand. “Okay…See you guys there then.” 

Tetsuro quickly kisses Kenma goodbye and sees them off. 

“Man…Did I do something wrong?” Koutaro says out loud on the walk to his limo. “I thought that he’d wanna come.”

“Nah. Akaashi just…Uh, forgot he had a project due today.” Tetsuro covers up. 

Koutaro lifts his head and nods. “Oh! That makes sense! That’s happened to us before! I get it!” 

Tetsuro gives an uneasy smile and motions for them to enter the awaiting car. 

“Thank Hiroshi!” the two cheer. 

“TOORY!? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?”

“BRO HE WANTS YOUR MONEY! AND HE ATE ALL THE GUMMIES!”

“I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA BE IN THE LIMO YOU STUPIDS!” 

“AHHH! TETSU GET DOWN! HE’S GONNA KILL US!”

———————————————

“Hey Akaashi, ready to go?” Kenma calls over his shoulder. 

Keiji throws his coat on his bed and shakes his head. “I don’t…I don’t think I’m gonna go.”

Kenma freezes and turns to look at his roommate. “Why the sudden change of heart?” 

“I-I don’t think I’ll really feel comfortable there. I mean, I do wanna see Bokuto-san but…but there will be other people there that I don’t know.” 

Kenma hums. “I won’t force you to go. But from what I can tell, you want to get closer to him. Why miss out on the chance?” 

Keiji hesitates. “I…I don’t know…” 

“Well…If you don’t want to, then I guess it’s fine. I’ll see you later Akaashi.” 

“Have fun, Kenma.” 

“Ken Ken!” Tetsuro exclaims once he sees said boy leave the dorms. He leads him into the waiting limo Koutaro had sent for them and raises a brow. “Where’s Akaashi? I thought he was gonna come.”

Kenma ducks down to get into the vehicle and shrugs. “He didn’t feel comfortable coming. Not that I blame him.”

“What are you talking about Ken?”

“Nothing.” 

“Kenma.”

“It’s just—“ Kenma sighs. “—These parties I always go to with you…You end up doing something stupid to hurt people.” 

“Ken, those were rare instances. Nothing too bad has ever happened. Ah, turn here, Hiroshi.”

“Second year of high school. I stayed at home studying while you partied around. Do you not remember the picture?”

Tetsuro lets out an irritated groan. “What picture are you talking about?”

“You kissing a girl against the wall? A week after you said you loved me.”

“We weren’t dating—!”

“So what Tetsuro, it hurt!” Kenma cries out. A few tears escape his eyes as he turns away from the boy next to him. “How did you expect me to react?”

Tetsuro softens his eyes. “Ken…I was a…stupid kid when I did those things. It’s been three years. People change.” 

“First year of university, you drunk dialed me and told me that you had made out with—and I quote—‘a hot guy I found on the street’.” 

“Kenma, can we not start this right now? This is a party and parties are for good times. We can talk about this later.”

Kenma doesn’t answer. 

“We’re here, Tetsuro, Kenma.” Hiroshi opens the door for them. 

“Thank you.” the two mumble. 

“Hey hey hey!” Koutaro runs out the door to greet them. “How was the ride!?”

“It was great man! Thanks again!” Tetsuro offers a half-smile. 

Koutaro, sensing the tension around the two, drops the subject. “Um…Let’s just get inside.” he opens the door wider for them. 

“DUDE! WHO LET NOYA USE THE KITCHEN!?” Tetsuro shouts as he races to turn off the stove. 

“You okay Koutaro?” Kenma nudges the older. 

“I thought Akaashi would be here…You didn’t hear anything from him?” 

“Oh! H-He forgot he had a project due today.” Kenma quickly covers up.

Koutaro frowns a bit at the news. “Oh…” 

“But don’t worry. You’ll be able to see him tomorrow.” 

“I guess…I just wanted him to get comfortable with the flat.”

“And why’s that?”

Koutaro purses his lips in thought. “Akaashi is…a really cool guy. I wanted to get to know him more…He’s also one of the first friends I managed to make on my own.” 

Kenma gives a proud smile. “Then keep him close.”

Koutaro stares up at their ceiling and sighs. “I’m trying.” 

“Let’s just get some alcohol in our system.” 

Koutaro laughs. “Lead the way.” 

“—and you drank the rest of my vodka too! I told you I was saving that for when Kou-chan came, but you had to finish it off, you drunk!” Tooru yells at Sugawara. 

“Piss off Toory!” 

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!” 

“KOUTARO!” Koushi giggles and throws himself onto the man. “T-TELL TOORY THAT THE VODKA WAS MINE!” 

“I don’t know whose it was honestly.” Koutaro chuckles. 

“KOUTAROO! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!” 

“KOU-CHAN, DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!” 

“Hey, Daichi!” Koutaro smiles and shakes his friend’s hand. “It’s been forever since we’ve seen you! You didn’t even drop by!” 

“Sorry about that! Koushi and I were actually visiting some old teammates.”

“You’ll probably find more here.” 

“Unfortunately.”

The two laugh and pat each other’s shoulders before moving along. 

“Kenma?” Koutaro shouts over the music. “Where’s Tetsu?”

Kenma looks around and furrows his eyebrows. “I can’t see him.” 

“Boo!” Tetsuro jumps onto them from behind. 

“I’m here too~” Tooru sings and bumps hips with Bokuto. 

“We’re migrating to Tetsuro’s room.” Koutaro lets them know. 

“I need to charge my phone.” Kenma explains to the four as they walk up the stairs and into the room. 

“Tooru, please tell me you’re not drunk already.” Koutaro groans. 

“I AM NOT!”

“YEAH RIGHT! I BET YOU CAN’T EVEN THROW A PING PONG BALL CORRECTLY!”

“CARE TO TEST THAT THEORY!?”

“YOU’RE SO ON! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK KENMA, TETSU!”

“Have fun!” Tetsuro calls before turning back to Kenma, who was already lying in bed. 

“They’re so weird…” Kenma snickers. 

“Hm….You’re so beautiful Ken.” 

Kenma buries himself deeper into the Tetsuro-scented blankets. “Shut up you weirdo…I’m still mad at you.”

Tetsuro laughs and settles his head onto his boyfriend’s stomach. “I wish I could make you see yourself through my eyes. You’re so perfect to me in every way…I can’t imagine not having you.”

“You’ll always have me Tetsuro.”

Tetsuro gets up and shoves the blankets away from Kenma. 

“Hey! What do you—“ 

“Can I have you in every way?” Tetsuro asks as he pins Kenma’s wrists above the pudding head. 

“What are you talking about Tetsuro? Again, I’m still mad at you.”

“Kenma…” Tetsuro whines, then nips his boyfriend’s neck lightly, eliciting a whimper from the body under him, “In this way—“ he pecks Kenma’s jaw, “And this way—“ A kiss on his chest, “—and this way.” Another kiss on his stomach. This time, Tetsuro drags his tongue across Kenma’s core right before stopping above Kenma’s manhood. 

The blonde lets a pleasured sigh out at the sensation. 

“So, Ken? What’s the answer.”

“Do unto me as you wish, Tetsuro.”

———————————————

“Kou-chan, this is a party! Why’re you so sad?” Tooru slides a shot over to the male. 

Bokuto thanks him and downs it all. “I’m not sad.” he answers. 

“Yeah you are. Don’t lie to me!”

Koutaro sighs. “I invited someone here today and they didn’t show. I guess I’m just bummed out now because of that.” 

Tooru thinks for a while. 

“Kou-chan, remember when you took me to see the stars?” 

Koutaro smiles at the memory. “Yeah, I do.” 

———————————————

_“You should come up here!” Koutaro calls from the tree._

_“No thanks. Besides, I’m still sore from practice.” Tooru grumbles._

_Koutaro’s soft laugh echoes through the woods. “Who cares? Climb on up!”_

_Tooru growls. “Jeez. You are so pushy!” he carefully climbs up the tree. When he notices that Koutaro was still climbing up, he grits his teeth in annoyance. “Wait! I’m not a monkey you know!”_

_After minutes of pure climbing, his head pops out of the leaves. Koutaro only smiles at him and offers him some help._

_“Here, take my hand!”_

_Oikawa grabs onto his hand, allowing him to gasp at the view from the top._

_“You said you wanted to see the stars...right? Chances like these are why you gotta keep your chin up!” Koutaro grins._

_For a while, it’s all silence._

_“That one is called...the Ohitsuji...right?” Koutaro turns to Tooru._

_Tooru, still mesmerized by the sky, nods. “Yeah...it is...”_

_Koutaro smiles again._

_“Did you study my constellation book? You read it?” Tooru asks._

_“Maybe I did.”_

_A small blush covers Tooru’s cheeks. “But why...?”_

_“W-Well...the stars made you happy...and I like seein’ you happy...so...”_

_It takes a few minutes for the two of them to realize they were still holding hands._

_But when they did, they didn’t let go._

———————————————

“They look nice today.” Koutaro grins. 

“We haven’t gone to see them in a long time.” Tooru replies. 

“You’re gone all the time nowadays. Did I do something wrong?” 

Tooru shakes his head softly. “Of course you didn’t. I’m just—I’ve been stupid.”

“Tooru, you’re not stupid.” 

“Let’s just enjoy the moment Kou-chan.” 

Koutaro hums. “Hey Toory?” 

“Yes?” 

Koutaro faces him and grants Tooru a close eyed smile. “This means a lot to me ya know. Thanks for taking me up here!” 

Tooru’s eyes widen. He chuckles and leans into Koutaro. 

“This means a lot to me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaaaay, i have about four more chapters already written out and I'm really excited for them!! this chapter is where our kuroken angst starts off, so prepare yourselves lololol. i really hope you liked this chapter! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!!
> 
> author fact: i hate movies lol. it always ends up with me leaving in between bc movie theaters give me way too much anxiety or just because i can’t sit through the whole thing and end up searching the internet for the ending.
> 
> Next Time: A Competition Huh?


	6. A Competition Huh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Koutaro was the one who told you!?”
> 
> “Don’t go blaming any of this on him Tetsuro. I would’ve found out eventually.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Tetsuro can't admit he's made mistakes and it's affecting him and Kenma's relationship.

“Is there a specific reason you didn’t go? Or is it just because you chickened out?” 

Keiji groans into his hands. He turns to Kei and sighs. “I…I chickened out….I guess…”

“I heard from Kenma-san that Bokuto was pretty sad last night. He was expecting you.” 

“That’s not making me feel much better you know.”

“I’m supposed to make you feel better?” 

“I feel so bad now. I-I did want to go, but I didn’t know what I would even do there!”

“Wasn’t Kenma going too?” 

“He would’ve left for Kuroo-san anyways.” 

Kei stiffens up at the name. 

“Sorry,” Keiji mumbles. 

“Uh, no worries,” Kei clears his throat. “Akaashi-san, you haven’t known Bokuto for very long have you?” 

“No, I haven’t. Why?” 

“You know…” Kei starts, “You’re the first friend Bokuto managed to make on his own.” 

Keiji stops the espresso machine at this. “Me? I’m sure Bokuto-san has made many, many friends on his own.” 

“Mm…Akaashi-san, I think you should get to know him better. There’s much you don’t know about him,” Kei glances up and smirks. “In fact, here’s your chance right now.” 

Keiji turns to the door fast and sees Koutaro walking in with a nervous look on his face. He seemed to be playing with the bracelets on his wrist again while looking around. Once he sees Keiji, he gives a small smile and walks up to the counter. 

“Hey Tsukki!” Koutaro puts on a smile.

Kei waves then moves to the other side of the counter.

“Uh, Akaashi? Can we talk?” 

“Go Akaashi-san. I’ll cover you meanwhile.” Kei urges him on. 

Keiji thanks him and motions for Koutaro to lead the way. They head to the back corner. Like always. 

“Where’s Kuroo-san? I thought you’d be with him.” Keiji takes a seat across from Koutaro. 

“Him and Kenma had an early start to their date night.”

“Date night?” 

“It’s every Friday.” 

“Oh….So, what did you need to ta—“

“Hey Akaashi, how come you didn’t come to the party last night? I mean, I know it’s kinda weird they did it on a Thursday, but Kenma said you would come.”

Keiji hesitates. “I—um, I-I forgot I had a project due yesterday.” 

“That makes sense!” Koutaro exclaims. “Kenma said that’s what happened, so I guess I should’ve just listened to him!”

_‘I’ll have to thank Kenma.’_

“I’m sorry Bokuto-san. I would’ve gone, but schoolwork and such…”

“It’s okay Akaashi! Don’t worry about it! Say! Do you wanna hang out later! I could bring Toory and you can meet him!” 

Keiji thinks it over for a bit. He should at least give Koutaro this. “I’d like that, Bokuto-san.”

“Yes! That’s great! More than great! Uh, I’ll just come by later and we can start from here!” 

“That sounds good Bokuto-san.”

“OH! I ALMOST FORGOT! A-Are you comfortable meeting him? He’s a good guy, I swear!” 

“Well, if you’re friends with him, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

Koutarto lets out a sigh of relief and melts onto the table. 

“Since I wasn’t able to attend the party, maybe you can tell me what exactly I missed?” 

Koutaro lifts his face up instantly. “You…You really wanna hear?”

“Bokuto-san, how many times will I have to tell you? I _want_ to hear you talk.” 

“Huh…” Koutaro smiles. “I…I guess I can start from when I entered the flat.” 

“A flat?” Keiji repeats. “Aren’t those really expensive?” 

“Uh, yeah, but me, Toory, and Tetsu kinda just banded together to buy it. You should totally come by to see it sometime! I decorated most of it and it looks super cool!!” 

“I’d love to. Now, what happened at the party?” 

“Okay, well Koushi and Toory were fighting over some vodka and then—actually let me just start from the beginning.” 

———————————————

Tetsuro knocks on the dorm door and opens it to see Kenma bundled into his blankets with his game. 

“Kenma!!” Tetsuro exclaims and dives onto the bed, where Kenma pulls his head back by the hair. “OW!” Tetsuro complains, “If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was ask!” 

“I can’t believe you have the audacity to just talk to me as if nothing happened yesterday!” Kenma lets go of the bed-head. 

“What exactly are you talking about? The _AMAZING_ sex—!” 

“Don’t play stupid Tetsuro. I’m warning you.”

“We’ve been dating for three years, and you still don’t trust me. That’s great, I don’t trust you either.” 

“Oh yeah, that totally makes sense since I’m always the one who goes out on Saturdays, comes back drunk, and ends up slobbering over every person in their sight.” 

“It was one time—!” 

“I said _every_ Saturday, Tetsuro.” Kenma snaps. 

“Are we seriously going to fight over this on date night?”

“When do you suppose we talk about this then? Or are you going to keep pushing this aside!?” 

“You’re not being fair. We’re university students, Kenma. People get stressed sometimes!” 

“I _understand_ that.” Kenma grits his teeth. “But what I can’t wrap my head around is why you can never seem to face responsibility for what you do!” 

“It happened when I was drunk! Didn’t you get a tattoo while you were drunk!?” 

“It was a tattoo! You made out with strangers while I was at the flat waiting for you to come back! Do you not understand how fucking angry I was when Koutaro had to call me and explain what happened so I wouldn’t have to find out through the fucking videos of you on the internet!?” 

“Koutaro was the one who told you!?” 

“Don’t go blaming any of this on him Tetsuro. I would’ve found out eventually.”

“Ken, please. You know I hate fighting with you. We can talk about this later.”

“When is later for you Tetsuro? Next week? Month? Year?”

“Kenma! Can we just fucking talk about this later!?” Tetsuro shouts. 

Kenma looks shocked. He scoffs and goes back onto his game. “Get out,” he whispers. 

“Ken…”

“Get out!” Kenma finally raises his voice. His cheeks are streaked with tears as he glares at Tetsuro. 

Tetsuro does a double-take. He scoffs and hops off the bed to leave. 

Wild thoughts spin through his head as he runs back to the flat. Tetsuro hadn’t realized how bad it was. Him and his stupid drunk habits. 

It’s not like he wanted to do those things, you know? Things just happen when you’re drunk. University classes are already hard enough on its own. Add volleyball to that, and it’s like Tetsuro can’t breathe. He has Koutaro to thank for finding the flat and Koutaro’s mother to also thank for keeping their fridge stocked. 

Talking about Koutaro. That little shit. Tetsuro would have to confront him when he got to the flat. He can’t believe Koutaro told Kenma. They’re supposed to be best friends! What the hell…But like Kenma said, it’s not Koutaro’s fault. Tetsuro imagines he would’ve gotten in even more deep shit if he had kept it a secret from Kenma. And Tetsuro does not want to face that. Well, thanks Koutaro. Tetsuro owes him one.

Oh, shit…Kenma…He told Kenma he doesn’t trust him either. It was a complete lie. Of course, Tetsuro trusts Kenma. Kenma never did anything wrong. If anything, all Tetsuro has on Kenma is the amount of time he spends on calling that shrimp that used to go to Karasuno. Oh, and Kenma's obsession with his games. 

Actually, now that he thought about it: Tetsuro doesn’t trust Kenma all too well then! Tetsuro knows it’s not Shoyo’s fault, as the ginger was dating Kageyama Tobio. But whenever Tetsuro and Kenma do talk, it’s usually Kenma talking about Shoyo. Huh. Tetsuro finally acknowledged it. Take that Kenma! Tetsuro does have a reason not to trust him!

Tetsuro runs a hand through his hair and opens the door to the house. He would just have to find Koutaro and rant to him. He paces around the hall and opens the door to Koutaro’s room to find him sleeping. Tetsuro removes his jacket and jumps onto him. 

“GAH!” Koutaro wakes up right away. “DUDE!” 

“Bro…Me and Ken got into an argument.” 

Koutaro lifts his head and pushes Kuroo off his stomach. “Oh…What happened?” 

Tetsuro buries his face into Koutaro’s pillow and groans. “We said we didn’t trust each other, then I yelled at him, and then he kicked me out.” 

“Bro!” Koutaro slaps Tetsuro’s arm. 

“OW! WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE HITTING ME AND PULLING MY HAIR!?” 

“YOU IDIOT! YOU YELLED AT KENMA!?” 

“I knoww!” Tetsuro whines and turns around to lie on his back. “I feel so bad! I had to leave him while he was crying too!” 

This earns him another harsh slap. 

“Tetsu, I mean this in the nicest way possible: You’re a dick.” 

“Bro!” 

“Don’t _‘bro’_ me! You left him while he was crying!? What the hell!”

“Why are we mad at Tetsu-chan?” Tooru enters the room with a yawn. 

“Are you all still hungover?” Tetsuro glances between the two.

“Tetsu-chan, just because you’re probably used to hangovers doesn’t mean we are.” 

“HEY!”

“Besides,” Tooru is next to jump onto Koutaro, “That’s not the important thing. What happened?” 

Koutaro lets out a huff and stares at the ceiling. “Tetsuro yelled at Kenma and left him while he was crying.” 

Tooru slaps Tetsuro. 

“ALRIGHT, NEXT TIME SOMEONE HITS ME, I _WILL_ HAVE A MELTDOWN!” 

“Serves you right!” Tooru moves to sit at the corner of the bed and crosses his arms. “Why would you even do that?”

“He says I never want to face responsibility for what I do.” 

“He is right.” Tooru murmurs.

“Tooru, I came here to drink, not to be lectured.” 

“But bro.” Koutaro intervenes. “You have to go fix things with Kenma. You can’t just leave him like that.” 

“And it’s your guys’ date night!” 

“I was looking forward to it too! But I’m not sure he even wants to see me after what happened.” 

“Okay, dude. I don’t know if I’m in a position to say anything, but I think I just had the greatest idea ever.” Koutaro grins. 

“Spill it.” Tetsuro demands. 

“Take him to the arcade!” 

“Kou-chan, while your approach is very sweet, it’s not the right one for now.” 

Koutaro pouts. “I was trying to help…” 

Tetsuro laughs and ruffles Koutaro’s hair. “Don’t worry bro. I’ll do that with him next date night.”

Koutaro perks back up and vigorously nods. 

“Okay, Tetsu-chan, hear me out. I say you bring Ken-chan here to eat some of his favorite food and actually talk things out with him. You avoiding his feelings is starting to become toxic. In relationships, you always have to make sure your partner feels right!” 

Tetsuro rubs his eyes. “I was thinking that too. I just—“

“—don’t want to face the truth.” Koutaro finishes for him. “You should if you really love him and want things to work out between you two. In the meantime, Toory and I are leaving the flat to you!” Koutaro climbs off his bed and almost slips on Kuroo’s jacket. “BRO! I COULD’VE DIED!” 

“Sorry...” Tetsuro mumbles from his place on the bed.

“Tetsu-chan, don’t be rude and walk us out.” 

“Jeez Toory. You really do act like a grand king.” Koutaro chuckles.

“DON’T SAY KING IN THIS HOUSEHOLD! IT REMINDS ME OF TOBIO-CHAN!” 

“How rude of you to not want to remember your student.” Tetsuro smirks and leads them down the hall and out the door. 

“Ignoring what you said Tetsuro, shouldn’t we go change first Kou-chan? We’re still in pajamas.”

“Well, I have no problem being seen like this! Besides Toory, people will be too busy looking at me instead of looking at you!” 

“I agree with Koutaro.” Tetsuro smiles. 

Tooru slaps the two in the back of the head. 

“YAWOO!” Koutaro exclaims in surprise. 

“Yawoo? Seriously? What kind of a doofus would say something like that?” Tooru grumbles.

Tetsuro’s smirk grows. “Don’t act like you’re mad. We all know that deep in your heart, you still have a crush on Kou.”

Tooru turns to Tetsuro, mortified. “YOU SAID WE WOULDN’T BRING THAT UP AGAIN!”

“Remember when he got me flowers on my birthday, then tripped and ruined them. I was going to cry from how much I was panicking.” Koutaro laughs. 

“I REMEMBER THAT! AND THEN HE STARTED CRYING BECAUSE HE FELT BAD—“

“—THAT I WAS CRYING!”

“STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!”

“What about the time he almost fainted when you started changing in the locker room.”

“He got a nosebleed from that didn’t he?” Koutaro nudges Tooru. “Huh Toory? I was so hot, you couldn’t handle it?”

Tooru buries his burning face into Koutaro’s collarbone. “STOP IT!!”

Koutaro laughs and wraps an arm around the blushing man. “Bye Tetsu! Good luck with Kenma!”

Tetsuro, still laughing, manages a small wave. “Have fun without me!”

“Hey Tooru, you’re coming with me to meet Akaashi whether you like it or not!”

“Who’s Akaashi?” 

“The guy who took care of me while I was drunk! I told you about him before!” 

Koutaro leads Tooru towards the direction of the cafe. Once they reach it, they enter with intertwined hands, a habit they had created since they were in middle school. 

“So this is where you’re always at? Not too bad Kou-chan…Not too bad.”

Koutaro smiles. “You like it here? That’s good!”

They wait in line where Tooru pulls Koutaro closer. “Do you want me to order for you?” 

“Uh…” Koutaro looks around. There’s a bit more people than usual. Fuck. “Um, yeah…please.”

No questions asked, Tooru softly smiles and nods. “Okay.”

They reach the front where Tooru orders his drink and Koutaro’s. From behind the counter, Keiji gives a small wave to Koutaro. 

Koutaro’s eyes slightly widen, and he waves back. Then he looks back down at his feet and waits for Tooru to tap his elbow, a sign that it was okay to look back up. When he gets that sign, he sees Tooru looking at him. 

“So where do we sit Kou-chan?”

“Over there!” Koutaro points to the same corner booth by the window, where he gets his full view of everyone. 

Tooru leads them there and takes a seat next to Koutaro, another habit they had. 

Koutaro hadn’t thought this through. Why did he just rush in like that? What if Tooru doesn’t like Keiji? Oh god, he hopes Tooru likes Keiji. Okay…Okay…Now he’s nervous. 

Sensing Koutaro’s bad thoughts, Tooru speaks up. “Kou-chan, who is this mysterious Akaashi you were talking about earlier? Tell me everything!”

Koutaro fiddles with his bracelet under the table. “His name is Akaashi Keiji. He’s…he’s the first friend I made on my own. 

Tooru’s eyes widen. “F-For real?” 

Koutaro nods. “Technically it was drunk me that started it. But uh…I came to talk to him on my own.”

“And he doesn’t ask?”

Koutaro shakes his head. “No, he doesn’t. But…but I know he thinks I’m weird. Sometimes I feel him staring at me…I don’t know…”

Tooru furrows his eyebrows. “He does that?”

“It’s okay. I get it. Just as long as he doesn’t say anything mean.”

“But still, if he makes you feel—“

“Here are your drinks. I was looking forward to meeting your friend.” Keiji sets the drinks down on the table, along with some deserts Tooru had picked for Koutaro. 

“Ah, t-thank you Akaashi! But first, how has your day been since I left?” Koutaro tries to distract the man from a glaring Tooru. Fuck, Koutaro sounded so stupid. He mentally facepalms.

Keiji gives Koutaro a soft smile. “Very fine, thank you. I’ll be back after letting my co-workers know I’ll be leaving. Please enjoy—these…” he falls silent as soon as he glances at Tooru. 

“Tooru! Stop it!” Koutaro smacks his knee. 

“OW!” 

“Akaashi, this is Oikawa Toory!” 

“Tooru.” Tooru mumbles. “It’s Oikawa _Tooru_.” 

“Nice to meet you Oikawa-san. Please excuse me, I’ll be right back.” Keiji nervously glances at the man before removing his apron and heading back to the counter.

“Toory! Akaashi’s a really good guy! Behave!” 

Tooru frowns and takes a sip of his drink. “Fine…” 

Keiji returns with his own drink and takes a seat across from them. “I’m Akaashi Keiji.” he introduces himself.

Tooru gives a sickeningly sweet smile. “Nice to meet you Akaashi-kun! Thank you for taking care of Kou-chan while he was drunk!”

“Of course. It was no problem at all.” 

“Yeah Toory! Akaashi and I are like best friends now!” 

Keiji smiles at the newly earned title.

Tooru notices this. He watches the way Keiji gives Koutaro his attention, as if the two were the only people in the world. Oh no. Tooru grimaces as realization dawns upon him. 

Keiji and Koutaro? 

Yup. This just became a competition, didn’t it?

———————————————

A knock on the door has Kenma groaning and rolling out of bed. He opens it expecting to see Keiji, but widens his eyes when he sees it’s actually Tetsuro. 

“Tetsuro.” Kenma clears his throat.

“Can I come in? I brought food.”

“That depends. Are you finally ready to talk?”

Tetsuro lets out a deep sigh. “Koutaro and Tooru sent me here. They said I need to face the truth and pay better attention to your feelings.” 

“So? What are you gonna do now?” 

“I…I don’t know what truth they’re talking about.” 

Kenma scoffs and shakes his head. “Is your head so far up your ass that you can’t see the damage you’re doing to our relationship?” 

“Kenma, I came to fix things, not fight more.” 

Kenma can’t do this now. He wants to say everything is okay but with the way things are going with Tetsuro, it’ll turn toxic quickly. 

“Just tell me one thing Kuroo.” 

“What now?” 

“Did you even want to come and fix things?”

Tetsuro stares at the floor with an unreadable expression. 

Kenma swallows back tears. “Maybe we should…take a break.” 

“Kenma…” Tetsuro whispers. 

“…I’m sorry, Tetsuro.” 

Kenma can’t look him in the eyes as he closes the door shut. 

He only starts breaking down once he hears Tetsuro’s soft sobs on the other side of the door, and the begging tone in his voice for Kenma to open it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry, but the kuroken angst will only get worse from here. it's gonna take a turn for the worst pretty soon so i apologize in advance. but i hope you had a good read! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!!
> 
> author fact: well, this isn't really a fact. it's more of like a random thing about me, but i am currently buried under loads of missing assignments LMAO 
> 
> Next Time: Go With Number 26


	7. Go With Number 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koutaro gulps and lets out a few nervous laughs while looking around for his other friends.
> 
> Most important of all though: Where is Tetsuro?
> 
> or: 
> 
> Tetsuro makes a mistake and Tooru admits he's in love.

It’s been two weeks since Tetsuro last saw Kenma. Well, the small glimpses of Kenma on campus don’t count. It was Saturday, also the day of Koutaro’s surprise birthday party. Tooru had already left the flat to go double-check on the preparations, meaning it was Tetsuro’s job to get Koutaro out of the house. 

Honestly, Tetsuro would’ve found it a lot easier to just leave if his diet hadn’t been full of pure alcohol. His smell alone could give a contact high to half of Japan. He was a mess and hadn’t come out of his room unless it was to use the restroom or to grab the food left outside his door by Tooru. The food sucked btw. No offense Tooru. Oh how much two weeks could do to you. 

Koutaro on the other hand was having a fantastic morning. Things between him and Keiji had been going great, and the two were almost inseparable. Mornings with Keiji at the cafe, then late walks to the park where they talked and got to know each other better. ~~It was pretty much a dream come true for him.~~ Ew, cliche sentence. But there was no other way to put it. 

The only thing that had Koutaro’s anxiety bubbling over was when he and Keiji would just stop talking and stare at one another. No one would move, no one would speak up. It was just looking into each other’s eyes until one of them looked away or cleared their throat. Then they’d pretend as if nothing happened and go back to talking. 

“It’s sexual tension,” Tetsuro would drunkenly explain. 

Koutaro didn’t think so. “It’s appreciating my best friend.” he fired back. 

Still, Koutaro denied any and all new emotions he got from just being with Keiji. They’re just friends. Best friends. Best friends who held hands as they walked past the shops. Best friends whose faces got so close together that one deep breath would have their lips connecting. Best friends who didn’t know what space was when sitting next to the other. 

“Yeah, we’re only best friends.” Koutaro smiled when he explained his feelings to Sugawara and Daichi. 

Daichi would only facepalm. 

Moving onto Keiji—Well, there’s not much to say. Just that he refused to believe he was gaining feelings for the man who always visited him in the mornings and invited him to walk in the park late at night. Keiji would never fall so fast. It just wasn’t possible. He believed that falling for someone too fast just meant you were desperate for any relationship you could grasp at (no offense to people who fell too fast. Keiji was just making excuses). 

Not only did he have to deal with his totally non-existent feelings for Koutaro, but Keiji now had to face an aggressive Oikawa Tooru who would sometimes show up with Koutaro. Keiji could swear that there was a fire in Tooru’s eyes every time Koutaro smiled at the younger of the three. 

“Oikawa-san’s had a crush on Bokuto-san for years. It’s nothing personal.” Kei tried to reassure Keiji. 

“He pretended to be cold so Bokuto-san would give him his jacket.” 

“How do you know he was pretending?” 

“Because just five minutes before, he said it was too hot.” 

“Hm. Smart.” 

Nothing Keiji could do there. 

Tooru himself was currently running around Tokyo to make sure things for Koutaro’s surprise birthday party was a success. After multiple visits to see old friends and almost crying at Wakatoshi’s house, Tooru had one more person to call. 

“Iwa-chan!” Tooru exclaims into the phone. “Are you heading into the city?” 

**_“I would’ve been there already if you would just stop calling me.”_**

Tooru gasps out of offense. “It’s Kou-chan’s birthday! Things have to be perfect!” 

**_“You already told me that shit face!”_**

“AH OKAY HANGING UP NOW!” 

Tooru looks around and notices he was right in front of the cafe. _The cafe._ He plasters on a smile and enters. “Akaashi-kun!” he exclaims as he walks up to the counter.

Keiji gives a polite smile. “Hello, Oikawa-san. I didn’t expect to see you here. Anything on the menu that caught your eye?”

“I didn’t come here to order!! I actually came…to i-invite…you…” Tooru whispers through grit teeth. Jeez, he really needs to get his emotions under control. How embarrassing. 

‘It’s not for me, it’s for Kou-chan. It’s not for me, it’s for Kou-chan. It’s not for—‘

“Um, to what exactly?” Keiji raises a brow. 

Tooru nervously laughs. “Kou-chan’s surprise birthday party! I’m sure Ken-chan must’ve mentioned it!” 

“Oh,” Keiji puts down the rag that was in his hand. “I told Kenma I would go, but I’m guessing he hasn’t paid you guys any visits.”

“None at all. Anyways, I guess that was it. I expect to see you there. Have a good day!” And Tooru zooms out of the store before his feelings could bubble over. 

Poor Keiji. It wasn’t even his fault Tooru felt this way! Tooru blames Satori for putting it into his mind that he was still in love with Koutaro. That just couldn’t be possible. Those were high school feelings. They’re in university now. So what if Koutaro wants to date Keiji? Tooru totally wouldn’t have a meltdown for months on end if that were to happen. Nope. Not at all. 

Tooru sighs and opens the door to the flat. There Koutaro and Tetsuro were, laying across the couch in just their boxers. “HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO STILL DOING HERE!?” Tooru yells as he throws shoes at them. 

“Toory, keep it down…” Koutaro grumbles. “Some of us are trying to regain our strength.” He gets up and throws on a t-shirt and gym shorts before falling back onto the floor for more sleep. 

Tooru stomps over to Tetsuro and pulls him by the ear. “I thought you said you would keep him occupied as we got the things done!” He hisses into Tetsuro’s ear. 

“Dude…” Tetsuro groans. “…I got this….Just leave it to me…”

“YOU’RE ABOUT TO PASS OUT!” Tooru quickly thinks for a solution Anything at all would be fine with him. “Uh, Kou-chan…why don’t you take Tetsu-chan out for a walk and keep him occupied for the day?” 

Koutaro lifts himself up off the ground and nods. “Sounds good to me.” He runs a hand through his messy hair and doesn’t bother to style it. “Let’s go Tetsu. We can visit Akaashi at the cafe!” 

Tooru winces. 

“Bro…I think I’m dying.” 

“Aren’t we all?”

———————————————

“Hey Akaashi!” Koutaro greets. 

Said man smiles and gives out their drinks while peering at the paper in the middle of the table. “Meeting?” he asks.

“Somewhat.” Tetsuro mumbles. 

“May I?” Keiji motions towards the space next to Koutaro.

Koutaro hastily nods and scoots over to give some more space. 

“Is this about the prank war you told me about, Bokuto-san?” Keiji snatches the paper away. 

Koutaro nods and moves closer to Keiji. See this is what I was talking about. Space was not a word for them. Their thighs are literally touching. 

Tetsuro slams his head on the table and groans. “This is so annoying.” 

“Well, if the sausages don’t work, I suggest number 26.” Koutaro points to the idea on the paper. 

Keiji squints his eyes and reads it out loud. “‘Crash Daishou in Yoshimi’s plane’.” 

“Good one,” Tetsuro smirks. “But doesn’t it cost like—a lot?” 

“Insurance bro.” 

“Can we go with something that doesn’t include murder?” Keiji sighs. “And I’m sure this Yoshimi would be angry if you did that.” 

“Yoshimi doesn’t care. He owns a lot of things. And planes. Lots of planes.”

Koutaro’s sudden serious tone elicits goosebumps all over Keiji’s body. 

“Shit…Dude…I’ll be right back! I’m gonna puke!” Tetsuro runs off towards the restroom with a hand covering his mouth. 

Koutaro laughs and continues writing ideas down to get back at Suguru. 

“Bokuto-san,” Keiji starts, “How is everything going with Kuroo-san and Kenma?” 

Koutaro leans back in his seat and sighs. “Terrible, Akaashi! It’s been terrible! He’s always stealing the food I buy for myself! And he’s taking my edibles too! Those cost a lot! And he stinks! Jeez, he needs a shower!” he complains. 

“Edibles?” 

Koutaro freezes. 

“Bokuto-san…Um, you shouldn’t be eating those. You’re a volleyball player. Please take better care of your body.” 

“Yeah, sorry. Anyways…back to Kuroo and Kenma. How’s Ken taking it? I haven’t been able to check up on him ever since I had to start babysitting Tetsuro.” 

“Kenma is…Kenma. He seems pretty normal to people who haven’t known him for long, but I can tell how sad he is. I didn’t think it was so bad between them.” 

“It’s Tetsuro’s fault if I’m being really honest. Tooru and I have tried telling him to stop being such an ass, but it’s not like we can fix their relationship for them.” 

Keiji hums in agreement.

“Ugh, dude! I swear, I think I lost like five pounds in there!” Tetsuro comes back with a strained smile. “We’ve been here for a few hours, I’m thinking maybe we should head back?” he gives Keiji a knowing look. 

“Uh, yeah dude sure. We gotta go Akaashi. But I’ll—“ 

“Akaashi is coming with us!” Tetsuro announces. 

“EH!?”

“Oh, of course. Is that okay, Bokuto-san?” 

“OF COURSE IT’S OKAY! YOU COMING TO THE FLAT JUST MEANS THAT—“ 

Tetsuro quickly covers Koutaro’s mouth. “Bro. Indoor voice.” 

“Sorry! This means we’re like best friends Akaashi! This is so great!” 

Keiji feels his ears burning up immediately. “O-Of course. Thank you.” 

Koutaro cheers and grabs the two by the hands to lead them back. 

———————————————

“Iwaizumi. Long time no see.” Daichi brings said man in for an awkward hug. 

“A lot of people we’ll be seeing here tonight.” Hajime laughs. 

“TENDOU, DAMMIT! STOP TRYING TO SMOKE THE CAKE!” Tooru screeches and runs over to stop the red-haired one. 

“Akaashi said they’re two houses down.” Kenma lets them know. 

“Please try to hide! Don’t ruin it or I will stab you in the eye.” Tooru threatens them as they all run for a hiding place. 

The door opens, shedding a bit of light into the flat. “Ugh,” Koutaro groans, “Why is it all dark in here? Akaashi won’t be able to see—“

The lights finally turn on and everyone jumps up. “SURPRISE!” 

“AHHHH KILL TETSU NOT ME!” Koutaro cowers behind the man. 

“Dude.” Tetsuro scoffs.

Koutaro looks around to see all his old friends and new friends gathered around in the flat. 

“Why is everyone here!? What are we celebrating!?” Koutaro asks Tetsuro. 

“Kou, it’s your birthday!” 

“Oh…OH YEAH! WHO PLANNED THIS!?” 

Tooru offers Koutaro a present of his own. “Here you go Kou-chan. Happy birthday!” 

Koutaro smiles widely. “Tooru! You did all of this for me!? This is amazing!” 

“Well we don’t want to keep the people waiting! The party’s already started!” 

“Ah, wait, Akaashi—!” Koutaro calls out before being dragged away by Tooru. 

“Well. I’m going to find Kenma.” Keiji comments before he too disappears into the crowd. 

Tetsuro does a quick lap of the house. He sees Yaku Morisuke and annoys him for a bit, then moves on to Daichi, and finally the crowd with Nishinoya Yuu and Koutaro. 

“Shoyo!” Koutaro cries into the phone. “I miss you so much!” 

**_“I miss you too Bokuto-san! I wish I could be there! Tobio says happy birthday too!”_**

“Shoyo!” Koutaro continues to whine. 

**_“As soon as we’re back, we’ll come visit you and give you your gifts! Go enjoy your party!”_**

“Mkay,” Koutaro sniffles. “Bye Shoyo.” 

**_“Bye Bokuto-san!”_** Tobio and Shoyo end the call.

Koutaro turns around with a large pout and small tears in the corner of his eyes. 

“Okay, dude, we’re gonna go drink! Let’s go!” Tetsuro pulls on him. He drags them both to the kitchen for some shots and talks with old teammates. 

“KONOHA! I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER!” Koutaro clings to him. 

“Bokuto, I saw you at the cafe today.” 

“THAT DOESN’T COUNT! YOU WERE WORKING!” 

“Sure sure.” 

“Hey Kuroo, I thought you would be with Kenma right now. Don’t go abandoning him” Morisuke teases.

Tetsuro awkwardly rubs the nape of his neck. “Um, I know! He’s just sticking with Akaashi right now. And I gotta spend time with the birthday boy!”

“OH CRAP!” Koutaro’s eyes widen. “WE LEFT AKAASHI WITH TOORU!” 

———————————————

“Hey Akaashi, I have to go. I was supposed to be doing a stream around an hour ago.” Kenma hastily checks his phone. “I’m really sorry. Just try to stick with Tooru,” he suggests, then leaves. 

Keiji presses his lips into a firm line as he exhales through his nose. Great. Now he has to stick with the person who probably hates him for no reason. 

“Akaashi-kun!” Tooru sings. “Come join us for a game of truth or dare!” 

“Oh, I guess I’m fine with that. One time I had to eat an entire bag of marshmallows.” Keiji tries to joke. 

Tooru narrows his eyes. “That’s funny. But we don’t really play it like that.” 

“Then…How do you play it?”

Only minutes later, there Terushima Yuuji was with his tongue down Tooru’s throat.

Keiji stares at them in shock as Koutaro re-enters the group. 

“Tooru, what’re you doing?” Koutaro asks while glancing at Keiji. 

“We’re just playing truth or dare! Akaashi-kun was just up next!” 

Koutaro grabs Tooru by the arm. “Tooru, stop it. Akaashi is innocent. Don’t do this.” he hisses into Tooru’s ear. 

Tooru scoffs and rips his arm out from Koutaro’s grasp. 

“Come on Akaashi, let’s go somewhere else.” Koutaro leads him away from the crowd. 

“Thank you,” Keiji whispers. 

“Don’t worry.” Koutaro smiles and drags him to the living room where Nishinoya was screaming lyrics at the top of his lungs. “This is your first time in my home, and I want you to feel safe! Noya! Meet Akaashi!” 

Nishinoya throws the mic to some random person and hops up to Keiji. “THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF BOKUTO WHILE HE WAS DRUNK!” 

“Why do people keep bringing that up…” Koutaro mumbles under his breath. 

“It was no problem.” Keiji nods. 

“OH! NOYA! LET’S SHOW AKAASHI THAT ONE SONG!” 

“What song?” Keiji raises a brow. 

Koutaro exhales a laugh. “Okay, funny story. One time, Tetsu and I were on a run and we saw this poster for an open mic.”

“I don’t like where this is going.” 

“No no, it’s a good story Akaashi!” Nishinoya urges Koutaro to go on. 

“And so we learned the drums, electric guitar and all that other stuff for this one song we really liked! We entered, and we managed to win like 10,000 yen!” 

Keiji cracks a small smile. Then it turns into a wide grin before blowing into a full-on hyena laugh. He clings to Koutaro for support as he imagines a rockstar Koutaro and Tetsuro.

Koutaro’s golden eyes are trained on Keiji with a small blush on the two of their faces. 

_‘He’s so beautiful…’_

Koutaro gulps and lets out a few nervous laughs while looking around for his other friends. 

Most important of all though: Where is Tetsuro?

On the other side of the house, a bed-head wanders around through seas of people. 

Fuck. Tetsuro cannot focus on a thing at all. He thinks he’s had too much to drink. Maybe. He shouldn’t have joined Tooru for truth or dare. But in his defense, it was Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s fault he’s so drunk now. OW DAMN! He just ran into a wall. Tetsuro really needs to find Koutaro or Koushi. They’ll know what to do. 

“Are you okay?” a girl stops Tetsuro. She has blonde hair. And hazel eyes that look gold to Tetsuro. 

She looks like Kenma. 

So he kisses her. And he pins her to the wall as she moans into the contact and rubs her knee against his crotch. Tetsuro tells himself it’s Kenma. Kenma forgave him and is now leading them into a room that looks a lot like Tooru’s. And when she begins removing her clothes, Tetsuro can see Kenma. 

He closes the door shut with his foot and focuses on the small body beneath him. 

_‘It’s just Kenma.’_

———————————————

“Tough night?” Koushi nudges Tooru. 

“Heh…I guess.” 

Koushi purses his lips in pity. “You still love him, don’t you?” 

Tooru turns to look at Koutaro. 

There he was with Nishinoya as the two sang to a cheering Keiji. Bokuto pulls him up onto the coffee table and passes the microphone to him. They sing into it as more and more people surround them and woo over them. 

Tooru turns back to his drink and smiles. 

“Can’t imagine the day I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know much about Japanese currency, so please forgive me if i get any of it wrong. i usually just search it's equivalent to US dollars. anyways, kuroo my guy, whAT ARE YOU DOING. it's all a downhill ride from here. 
> 
> author fact thing: one time when my little sister was 4, she cornered me and my cousin into a closet and pulled out a knife. it was a butter knife but oh my god i was freaking out. i still hold that against her to this day. and my favorite word is docosahexaenoic acid. 
> 
> Next Time: Chasing Cars


	8. Chasing Cars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay Akaashi. I trust you. And if you feel like I’m too much to handle now, I get it. If you wanna leave, I understand.”
> 
> “I thought I told you that I’m not leaving. Please try to keep that in mind.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro begins letting Keiji in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU READ: SMALL MENTION OF BLOOD AND REFERENCED SELF-HARM!!! IT'S MENTIONED IN THE FLASHBACK, SO PLEASE SKIP THAT SCENE IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SAID SUBJECTS. 
> 
> also, i you recommended read this while listening to the song 'chasing cars' by snow patrol. 
> 
> and as a small reminder, whenever i use apostrophes around a sentence, it's to show what the person is thinking. 
> 
> please enjoy!

Shit. What time was it? Koutaro groggily opens his eyes and waits for them to focus before looking around. Not too many people were inside the flat anymore. He can hear Tooru and Koutaro chatting in the kitchen like wine aunts. Hajime is sleeping on the couch across from him, and Nishinoya is on the floor snoring. He can’t see Tetsuro, but he does see Terushima crawling out of the guest room, only to collapse onto the floor and fall asleep again. 

Koutaro quietly laughs, then abruptly freezes. There’s something on his chest. _Someone_ is on his chest. Koutaro guesses it’s Tetsuro by the black hair. But the long eyelashes Tetsuro definitely does not have is seen. Soft lips that were in a perfect pout were there, and a small snore left the man on Koutaro’s chest. Oh no. This certainly wasn’t Tetsuro. _(Kuroo does not snore like that.)_

It was Akaashi Keiji. 

“Akaashi.” Koutaro whispers. Was this even okay? Koutaro feels as if he shouldn’t even be in his presence. Keiji groans and moves around a bit before opening his eyes. They immediately land on Koutaro. 

The two stare at one another in a daze. 

_'Stay calm...He's probably still tired. We're friends! Friends sleep on each other sometimes!'_

“Um, this is probably a really weird idea, but I know you’re still tired. So uh, you c-can go back to s-sleep. On…me…” Koutaro looks away. 

Keiji blinks. “Bokuto-san, if it makes you uncomfortable—“

“It doesn’t! I swear! I-I like it! I like it a lot!”

Keiji smiles to himself and hums in delight. He closes his eyes and attempts to go back to sleep. A few minutes pass, and he begins to notice something strange. 

“Are you...holding your breath?” 

Keiji gets up and notices Koutaro had been puffing his cheeks, which were now full-on red. 

“Oh my god—YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BREATHE YOU KNOW!!” 

Koutaro finally lets out the breath he had been holding. “I thought—“ he chokes out a cough and thumps his chest twice. “—I thought that would bother you.” 

Keiji stares at him with a bewildered expression. And then, he laughs. Akaashi _laughs._ “You’re so...adorable...” he whispers.

“H-HEY! I’M NOT S’PPOSED TO BE ADORABLE!” 

“Koutaro, dammit…Stop yelling…” Hajime scolds before turning over and snoring once again. 

Koutaro huffs and looks away from the two. His face was still red, but not from holding his breath. Keiji, Koutaro blames you. 

“Maybe we should get up now.” Keiji suggests. 

“Will you be okay?” 

“If you have coffee, then yes.” 

“You’ll be okay then.” 

The two males awkwardly get up and head into the kitchen to meet with Koushi and Tooru. Tooru gives them a once-over before setting his mug down and heading to his room. 

“I don’t even know why he’s acting like I did something wrong. He made Akaashi feel uncomfortable.” Koutaro shakes his head and grabs a marshmallow from Koushi's hands. 

Koushi smiles at Keiji and passes him some coffee. “Koutaro, don’t be rude and let Akaashi borrow some clothes and a shower.” 

“OH! Right! Sorry Akaashi!” Koutaro hastily apologizes. He grabs him by the hand and leads him into his room. “Akaashi, are you comfortable taking a bath? Those usually work for my hangovers. I always have to ask because I would probably cry if I had to take a bath in someone else’s house. Just the thought makes me wanna—“

“Bokuto-san,” Keiji interrupts, “I would love to take a bath. May I borrow some clothes?” 

Koutaro vigorously nods. “Yes! Yes, you can! Um, you can look around I guess while I find some clothes and ready the bath.” 

Keiji does as suggested and walks around the room. He didn’t realize it since there were so many people during the party, but the flat seemed extremely expensive. He knew that the three worked together to buy it, but even three university students wouldn’t be able to do this. No offense. 

The room really did scream Koutaro if Keiji were being honest. Volleyball posters were hung everywhere and there were clothes strewn all over. His bed wasn’t even made and the blankets were all thrown around. And…Was that a walk-in closet? And a private bathroom? 

“Okay, I found some clothes that might fit you. Uh, here.” Koutaro hands a pile over to Keiji. “The bath is ready, and I put some of that bath salt thing in it. Oh shit, I should’ve asked first. I can go drain the water and—“

Keiji grabs onto his arm to stop him from talking. “It’s fine. Thank you Bokuto-san. I’ll be out shortly.” 

“Take your time! We’re not allowed in each other’s room when we have guests over, so no one will be coming in.” 

“Sounds a bit lonely.”

“Akaashi…I could…Um, actually never mind.” 

“Bokuto-san, it’s okay. Just say it.” 

“Well, if you don’t want to be lonely, I could…talk to you, meanwhile? If you want to! Tooru always says consent is sexy! Not that I’m trying to be sexy but—Ah, you get the idea!” 

Keiji laughs. “Yes, I’m glad you asked first. If it doesn’t make you too uncomfortable, I’d like for us to talk meanwhile.”

“Okay! I can do that! I can totally do that!” 

Koutaro lightly pushes Keiji into the bathroom, closes the door, and waits for Keiji to call out and say it was okay for him to come in and talk. Once he hears the soft shout, he robotically enters and takes a seat next to the tub. 

“Bokuto-san, if it’s too much, I won’t be offended.” 

“NO! I-It’s not that! I just…I’ve never done this. I-I’m nervous, is all. Um, usually when I take a bath, I eat some chocolates and talk to Tooru, or Tetsu. They're actually in my cabinets right now. Do you…Do you want some?” 

Keiji nods. “Please,” he adds on. He too was nervous. 

Koutaro smiles and pulls the box out. He opens it and offers one to Keiji, who thanks him and nibbles on it quietly. 

“Feeling better now?” Keiji asks. 

“Yeah…Yeah…A little bit…”

Keiji hums. “We don’t know too much about each other, yet here we are.” He exhales an awkward laugh. 

Koutaro purses his lips. “Why don’t you…tell me about your family?”

Keiji leans his head back and closes his eyes. “I’m an only child. I call my parents once a week since they’re usually out of the country. They're very supportive of me. Especially since I'm..." 

“Since you're...?" 

Keiji holds his breath. “…Gay.” He waits for a response from Koutaro. Had he made a mistake telling him this? 

“I…I guess I’m technically gay too. I’m pansexual, to be more accurate. I’m pretty sure we’re all gay here, haha." 

Keiji releases a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. “Makes sense…What about your family Bokuto-san?”

“I have a lot of siblings. I used to live with my mom before the flat. Nothing much to say.” 

“How many siblings?” 

Koutaro thinks for a while. “I’m…not sure...some of my step-dads don’t have kids and others do, so it’s hard to keep track.” 

“Step-dads?”

“Yeah…It’s how we were able to pay off the flat. My mom has her divorce settlements and stuff. I know it’s a lot to take in, so if you feel overwhelmed or anything—“

Koutaro stops when Keiji reaches over to grab his arm. “I’m not leaving,” he sternly says. 

Koutaro stares. He looks away and sighs. “My own mother—as sweet as she was—didn’t know how to raise me right.” Koutaro smiles towards the ceiling. His chest feels heavy, and he almost wants to cry. “She made sure I was fed, had my bank account full, and had a roof over my head. But…that’s about it.”

Keiji widens his eyes at the newly received information. 

Koutaro takes a deep breath. “It’s not her fault, ya know? It’s…It’s been different since she found out I had anxiety…and OCD.”

“Bokuto-san—“

“It’s okay Akaashi. I trust you. And if you feel like I’m too much to handle now, I get it. If you wanna leave, I understand.”

“I thought I told you that I’m not leaving. Please try to keep that in mind.”

Koutaro shrugs. “It’s not like the disorders are a big deal to me or anything. It just makes stuff harder for me to do. Talking to people and doing normal stuff…things like that.”

Keiji stares at Koutaro from the corner of his eye. 

Koutaro could feel the stare on him and fuck, it was making him more nervous than he already was. He needs a change of subject, and fast.

Sensing the other’s discomfort, Keiji stops looking and speaks up. “Do you like walks Bokuto-san?”

“I do like ‘em. A lot…it’s kind of like…a tradition, Koushi and I have.”

“How come?”

“You sure you wanna hear a story right now?”

“Of course I do.”

Koutaro rubs his eyes tiredly. “Well, here goes nothing then.”

———————————————

_‘I always kind of knew that I was weirder than other people. I mean…The things I do to make me feel better and do better is a lot more different than other people.’_

_Koutaro stares at himself in the mirror and sighs. His black hair was starting to cover his ears and neck now. He’d need a haircut soon._

_‘A lot of my classmates talk about me. My bracelets. My bloodied hands. The cuts all over my lips and the scratches on my legs. I even have to start wearing my sweaters more often just because they talk and stare at the scars on my arms and wrists.’_

_Koutaro closes his room door and lingers in front of it for a while. Then, he comes to his senses and walks into the living room. Koushi would be arriving any minute and Koutaro wanted to make sure everything in the house was perfect._

_Finally, there’s a knock on his door. Koutaro goes to open it and sends a small smile to the boy in front of him._

_“Hey, Suga. Come in.” The statement came out of his mouth robotically. He had learned about the right phrases and appropriate questions to ask when having someone over. “Would you like some water?” he asks._

_“What I want is to find out what’s got you so upset today. Come sit down with me.” Koushi pats the space next to him._

_Having met Koushi in a club around his first year of high school (unfortunately very underage), Koutaro began to learn how difficult it was to hide his true emotions around him._

_“I…I have to get a haircut soon…” Koutaro moves to sit down next to Koushi. “It’s starting to…to bother me…It’s covering my neck and ears…”_

_“I could trim it!” Koushi offers. “It won’t be the best, but how hard could it be, right?”_

_‘Suga always knew how to make me feel better. He knew when something was bothering me and he knew how to fix it. I don’t really know how he does it. But he did, and that’s what mattered.’_

_“Okay…We can try that.”_

_‘And even if I ended up on the bathroom floor with my tears all over his shirt, he never judged me.’_

_Koushi softly pats Koutaro’s back while whispering small sentences of comfort to him. “I’m so proud of you. You got your hair cut and didn’t move from the scissors. That was amazing.” Koushi continued._

_“Th-thank you…I’m sorry…” Koutaro sobbed._

_“Don’t apologize for something that is out of your control. This isn’t your fault.”_

_‘Something as stupid as getting my hair cut made me want to stay home for days. I hated being this way. It always caused so many problems for me.’_

_“Let’s go get something to eat.” Koushi offers._

_“I can’t eat right now…not now…”_

_Koushi helps Koutaro up and out of the bathroom._

_‘Sugawara was actually the one who bleached my hair. And offered to gel it up.’_

_“Hmm...Bokuto put your shoes on. We’re gonna leave the house for a bit.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_‘Simple things like cooking food or just listening to music and dancing always calmed me down. But that day, Sugawara had suggested something new. Something that became a tradition for us. And even though it was something a normal person would brush over, I considered it a huge step towards being a normal me.’_

_Koushi smiles. “Wanna go on a walk?”_

———————————————

“It’s…pretty dumb, I know. But, even if we’ve known each other for like a month, I trust you Akaashi.” Koutaro sends him a smile. 

Keiji feels his heart thump loudly in his chest as he sends a smile back. “I trust you too Bokuto-san. That’s why I’m so comfortable around you.”

“I’m glad.” 

No words are said as Koutaro turns around and waits for Keiji to cover up with a towel. It’s still silent when Keiji changes and lets Bokuto back into the room when he’s done. 

Koutaro grins when he sees Keiji in his old practice uniform from high school. “You look great, Akaashi.” 

Keiji feels the tip of his ears burning. It takes him a while to realize that he’s blushing. “Thank you, Bokuto-san.” 

“Um—” Koutaro notices how much he’s been saying that lately. It’s not a good sign. “—I would offer to watch a movie, but I really can’t sit through the whole thing. Is there anything else you wanna do?” 

Keiji thinks for a bit. “You said dancing and listening to music calmed you down as well. Dance with me?” 

Koutaro nods immediately and puts on a song. He approaches Keiji cautiously, “My mother put me in slow dance classes when I was like 5 actually. So if I goo too fast, just l-let me know...or something...” 

Keiji takes his hands. “Lead the way, Bokuto-san.” 

It’s a bit awkward at first. The room is big enough for the two of them to dance around. The only negative thing would be Keiji stepping on Koutaro’s feet, but they simply laughed it off. 

The emotions Koutaro felt from talking about his mother and personal life suddenly hit him like a truck, and the next thing he knows, he’s silently crying. His face isn’t moving, but tears are streaming down his cheeks. 

Keiji doesn’t need an explanation. He pulls Koutaro closer and continues dancing with him, which is harder since they’re now clinging to each other as if the world would end. 

“If I lay here…If I just lay here…Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” Koutaro whispers the lyrics to Keiji.

Keiji's heard the song before. It was actually one of his favorites. What a coincidence. “All that I am…All that I ever was…Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see.” 

Koutaro is surprised. He holds Keiji tighter as the song comes to a close. They sing the last part together, in each other’s arms. 

“If I lay here…If I just lay here…Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey! this chapter was a bit shorter than the others, but it plays a key part in bokuaka's growing relationship! i can't wait for the next chapter!!! i hope you have a good day/night!!!
> 
> author fact #?? : i absolutely loathe celebrating my birthday. lmao that's literally it. 
> 
> Next Time: Tetsuro...You Are So Fucked


	9. Tetsuro...You Are So Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Koutaro please.” Tetsuro begs. “I-I know I messed up. This hasn’t happened in forever and I don’t want it to happen again.”
> 
> Koutaro runs his hands through his hair in frustration. “You fucked up,” he agrees. “You fucked up very, very badly.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> The old Tetsuro comes back, Koutaro has a panic attack, and Kenma finds out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU READ, A QUICK TW: THERE'S A DESCRIPTION OF A PANIC ATTACK! PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!

“I don’t know how to do this anymore Koutaro. We’ve been tip-toeing past each other for days now. I told you I was sorry!” Tooru throws his hands up in frustration. 

Koutaro ignores him and continues making himself some hot chocolate. Speaking of which--Wow! The chocolate powder his mom had brought back from America made great drinks. He just needed to find the marshmallows and he could go back up to his room and call Keiji. 

“Looking for these?” Tooru holds the bag up. 

Bokuto sighs and takes his mug down the hall and into his room. Tooru hears the room door lock and lets out a groan. He walks down the hall and knocks on Koutaro’s door. 

“Kou-chan, please open up.” 

“No.” 

“Kou-chan!”

“Go away.” 

“I’ll buy you gummies.” 

The door opens a bit. Koutaro’s eyes are seen through the small opening. “What do you want?”

Tooru hesitates. He looks down at his hands and lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry…for trying to mess with Akaashi.” 

Koutaro gives him a look that says ‘go on’. 

“I know that he’s innocent…and I’m sorry for still trying to ruin him. Forgive me, Kou-chan.” 

Koutaro opens the door a bit wider. “You have to say sorry to Akaashi too.” 

Tooru stifles a frown. “Deal.”

“I’ll wait by the door.” 

With Tetsuro, Koutaro and Tooru, there were two different types of people they divided their friends by: The Innocent and The Ruined. It’s kind of what the name suggests. If they were to meet someone new, the person would immediately be labeled as one of The Innocents. But if they made a mistake or passed Tooru’s “Test”, they would be one of The Ruined. 

For example, Akaashi Keiji. Koutaro introduced him as one of The Innocents. It was a sign to Tetsuro and Tooru that they were to not mess around with him or drag him into their shit, like drugs, alcohol, or illegal activities. Those were reserved for The Ruined. 

And as for “Tooru’s Test”, it was something Tooru did if they needed help dividing someone into a category. If the person showed even a small interest in their activities, they were immediately one of The Ruined. 

It sounds a bit stupid, sure. But these labels are very important to Koutaro, and so they are important to Tetsuro and Tooru. 

On their walk to the cafe, Koutaro didn’t talk too much. Tooru knew he was still angry at him for trying to ruin Keiji. So he did most of the talking while Koutaro only hummed or nodded in agreement. 

“Akaashiii!” Koutaro grins and runs up to the counter. “I missed you!” 

Keiji chuckles a bit. “We saw each other yesterday.”

“I STILL MISSED YOU!” 

Tooru clears his throat and steps out from behind Koutaro. “Akaashi-kun, I actually came to talk to you.” 

Koutaro glances at the two before quietly excusing himself and taking a seat at the back corner. 

“Is something wrong Oikawa-san?” 

Tooru closes his eyes. This is so embarrassing…Why couldn’t he just call or something?

“I’m very sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable at the party. It wasn’t my intention.” 

Keiji blinks. “That means a lot, Oikawa-san. Thank you for apologizing.” 

“Good! Then I’m free to return to competing against you!” 

Competing against him? For what? 

Keiji furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Over what?” 

“Hey hey!” Koutaro walks back over to them. He glances at his phone once more before giving Tooru a nervous smile. “Uh, Tooru, we totally forgot there was practice today!” 

Tooru shrugs. “As long as we get there before—“

“And Haji is already there.” 

“OKAY, BYE AKAASHI-KUN!” 

“BYE AKAASHIII! SEE YOU TOMORROW!” 

Keiji laughs to himself and watches as Tooru grabs Koutaro by the collar and leads him out of the cafe.

“OW TOORY! LET GO OF ME! I CAN WALK ON MY OWN!” 

“YOU’LL GET DISTRACTED BY SOME STUPID ROCK! WE HAVE NO TIME FOR THAT!” 

Koutaro groans and allows himself to be dragged to the on-campus volleyball gym. 

“Is Haji in there?” Koutaro asks, out of breath. 

Atsumu smirks. “He hasn’t gone into the gym yet, so just get changed, and yer good.”

Tooru lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you ‘Tsumu-chan!” 

Atsumu lets the two in to get ready. Once they’re in their practice get-up, they join the rest of the team on the court for drills. 

“Hey, has anyone heard from Kuroo?” their coach calls out.

All eyes turn to Tooru and Koutaro who shake their heads. 

“He wasn’t at the flat this morning.” Tooru shrugs. 

“He’s probably just hungover.” Nishinoya laughs. 

The team pairs up and practices their tosses and spikes as a part of their warm-up. 

“Bokkun!” Atsumu shouts out. 

Koutaro slams the ball down immediately. “YEAHH!! HEY HEY HEY!” 

“THAT WAS QUICKER THAN LAST TIME!” Atsumu cheers, as their quick attack was finally improving a bit more. 

Suddenly, Koutaro’s phone rings. He sends an apologetic look towards his coach runs towards it. He knows that no one would call him unless it was really important, so he answers without checking the caller I.D.

“Hello, Bokuto here!”

 **_“Koutaro…”_** a voice mumbles. It sounds a lot like Tetsuro. **_“Koutaro…I…help…”_ **

Koutaro feels dread pool in his stomach. “Tetsuro? Where are you!?” 

**_“I don’t know…I don’t know where I am…”_**

Koutaro taps on a few buttons on his phone before finally finding Tetsuro’s location. 

“Tetsuro, just hang on! Tooru and I will be there soon!” 

Koutaro turns to his coach who was already urging him out. 

“Go help Kuroo.”

Koutaro thanks him and drags Tooru along. 

“Kou-chan, was that Tetsu-chan!? What happened!?” 

Koutaro looks at Tooru with a worried face. “I think…I think the old Tetsuro is back.”

———————————————

“Oh my god…” Koushi whispers as Koutaro and Tooru carry a hungover Tetsuro into the flat. 

Koushi had been called by Tooru just in case Koutaro’s prediction was right. 

It was. 

“You still doing okay?” Koutaro asks Tetsuro who can’t even seem to lift his head up. 

“Koushi,” Tooru turns serious. “Coffee, fast please.” 

Koushi nods and gets to work as the other three struggle heading into Koutaro’s room to help Tetsuro. It takes a while for Koutaro to pry Tetsuro off the bed and into the bathroom. By then, Koushi had brought up multiple hangover cures. And bagels!

“Come on Tetsuro! We need to get you into the shower!” Koutaro scolds. 

“Why won’t you let me sleep?” Tetsuro whines.

“Tooru, get Tetsuro a fresh change of clothes and a bathrobe.” Koushi instructs. “Try and make him eat the bagels after he showers. They should help soak up the alcohol and whatever else he took.”

“Thank you. I’ll take it from here.” Koutaro mumbles and closes his bathroom door. Koushi and Tooru both cringe as they hear Tetsuro throwing up in there.

“Just like old times…” Tooru shakes his head. 

A few minutes later, Koutaro comes out. “We might not need those bagels after all. He’s taking a shower right now but he should be out any minute.”

Koushi frowns. “I wish I could stay, but teachers don’t get much break time and—“ 

“It’s okay Koushi. We can take it from here.” Koutaro does his best to smile. 

Koushi apologizes once more before leaving the three on their own. 

“Where was he last night anyways?” Tooru raises a brow. 

“I don’t remember. We all passed out, so no one could’ve seen him leave.” 

The shower water turns off and out comes Tetsuro with clean boxers and a bathrobe. 

“Hey man…” Koutaro uses his gentle voice, “Come sit over here for a bit. There’s coffee.” he pats the bed. 

Tetsuro forces himself to move and sit on the bed next to Koutaro, where he leans his head against the ace’s shoulder.

Having only been friends with them from high school, Tooru understands that Tetsuro and Koutaro’s relationship runs deeper than his. Because of this, he whispers a few words of advice to Koutaro before leaving the two alone. 

“Tetsu…” Koutaro starts, “What happened to you man?” 

“Koutaro…” Tetsuro’s shaky voice fills the room. “I fucked up…I fucked up really badly.” 

“Talk to me. I’m here. We like to talk, remember?” 

Tetsuro looks to Koutaro with tears streaming down his face. Koutaro’s shocked. As Tetsuro begins explaining what had happened and what he remembered, Koutaro’s reactions vary from surprised, disappointed, and finally: Angry. 

“You…You what?” Koutaro gets up from the bed. 

“Koutaro please.” Tetsuro begs. “I-I know I messed up. This hasn’t happened in forever and I don’t want it to happen again.”

Koutaro runs his hands through his hair in frustration. “You fucked up,” he agrees. “You fucked up very, very badly.”

“Kenma won’t forgive me for this.” 

“This isn’t healthy for you guys Tetsuro.”

“I just...need to keep it a secret...like always...” Tetsuro whispers. 

“How do you think that’s working out for you guys now, huh!? WAKE UP!” Koutaro shouts. 

“They’re just mistakes!” 

Koutaro sighs and rubs his eyes. “Look...I can’t fix your relationship for you. But you HAVE to tell Kenma this. This can’t be kept a secret.”

“He’ll get angry.” 

“Well who’s fault is that Tetsuro!?” 

Tooru runs in at the sound of Koutaro’s shout. “What’s going on?”

Koutaro explains the situation to Tooru who gasps in shock. 

“Tetsu-chan…”

Tetsuro can’t talk. He’s appalled at his own actions from last night. 

“I need some air.” Koutaro walks out. 

“I…I agree with Koutaro. You need to tell Kenma.” 

When Tetsuro says nothing, Tooru sighs.

“Tetsuro…You are so fucked.”

———————————————

Koutaro’s been here before. He’s felt this before. The way his legs begin to shake and and his hands begin to tremble. He knows that in this situation, he should keep calm. But each time one of the attacks happen, it’s like he can’t remember how to do anything. 

He brings his hands up to cover his ears. It doesn’t stop the attack, but it does bring him some sort of peace. There’s beads of sweat rolling down his neck, but it’s almost comforting in a way. It leaves a cold feeling on what feels like his burning body.

Keiji was leaving for work and heading to his car when he saw Koutaro cradling himself against the corner of the cafe. The walls were probably hurting his back, but all Keiji could focus on was the way Koutaro blankly stared at the ground in a daze. 

“Bokuto-san!” Keiji drops his things and runs to him. 

Koutaro’s eyes dart up to Keiji then back down to the ground. Koutaro can’t feel the mess of tears running down his face. He wants to throw up, and he wants to get up and run away because from where he’s sitting, the walls are too close to him and Keiji isn’t giving him enough space. 

Keiji thinks he knows what’s happening. It’s happened to his cousin, but he’s never had to help with a panic attack like he does right now. “Bokuto-san,” Keiji reaches out to hug him, but Koutaro pushes him away. 

“NO! STOP!” Koutaro yells out and covers his head with his arms. “Don—tou—touc…” 

Fuck! Koutaro feels like screaming right now. He didn’t mean to push Keiji away like that! Keiji looks surprised. Koutaro thinks he’s dying. He’s trying to talk, but he knows Keiji won’t understand the gibberish coming out of his mouth. He tries anyway. It sounds like words to him, but Keiji doesn’t know what he’s saying. 

Koutaro feels himself fall onto elbows. They’re probably bleeding right now. Is that why Keiji is speaking to him so fast? Koutaro doesn’t pay any mind to that. Why was he even having a panic attack right now anyways? Was it the built up emotion from yesterday and the feelings he went through while worrying for Tetsuro? 

UGH, WHY CAN’T HE THINK STRAIGHT!? He’s still cradling his head and crying. His chest is getting tight again. He can’t breathe and he’s gasping for air. Okay, deep breaths. That’s what Keiji is saying right? In through your nose and out your mouth. 

After Koutaro had lashed out, Keiji was keeping his distance now. He’s still trying to figure out how to calm Koutaro down while trying not to cry from watching him break down and fall apart. Keiji’s worried Koutaro might pass out with how red his face is getting. He’s letting out groans and his breathing is getting quicker. 

Koutaro’s trying to breathe. He thinks he’s gonna die. It feels like it’s been going for an hour, but in reality, it’s barely two minutes. 

“Not…ing…rong…” is what Keiji hears. 

_‘Nothing’s wrong.’_ is what Koutaro is telling himself. 

Why is it so fucking hot outside!? Why does this only ever happen to him? He had been doing so good before. So why now? Why should he have to feel like this?

“…scared…” Koutaro whimpers out. “…scared….everything…”

Okay…he’s calming down now. Koutaro’s going to be fine. He keeps a hand out between him and Keiji so as to not hurt the younger. 

“Bokuto-san…walks…you like walks, right?” 

Keiji’s aunt and uncle usually helped his cousin by talking about things she liked or was passionate about. It helped calm her down little by little, and he hoped it would work with Koutaro. 

“The night breeze…” Keiji goes on. “…and the freedom.”

Koutaro’s arm relaxes. 

“You’re also the ace of your volleyball team, right?” 

Koutaro breathes in through his nose and out his mouth. “I can breathe…” he tells himself. “I’m okay….” 

“And Oikawa-san is your setter…and Kuroo-san is the middle blocker…” 

Koutaro is feeling better. He just needs to breathe. His arms are still covering his head, but it’s helping him. 

“Bokuto-san, may I rub your back?” Keiji asks. 

Koutaro wills himself to nod. 

Keiji slowly approaches Koutaro. He hovers a hand over his back and softly begins rubbing his hand in circular motions. 

“You’re okay…” Keiji whispers. “You’re fine…just breathe…”

After a few more minutes, Koutaro finally raises his head. He wipes his tears away and takes a few more deep breaths. 

“Bokuto-san, are you okay now?” 

Koutaro turns to Keiji, who is also on his knees and looks more than worried. 

“Ak…Akaashi…I’m so sorry…” Koutaro’s head falls onto Keiji’s lap. 

Keiji cards his hands through Koutaro’s grey and black strands of hair. He lifts Koutaro up and hugs him tightly. 

“It’s not your fault you feel this way.” 

Koutaro’s eyes sting with more tears. He must look like such an idiot. He even pushed away Keiji, who was only trying to help him. Koutaro blinks and fresh tears roll down his cheeks once more. 

“Th-thanks Akaashi.” 

Keiji holds onto Koutaro even tighter. 

“Of course, Bokuto-san. Anything for you.”

———————————————

“Kuroo,” Kenma crosses his arms. “What’re you doing here?”

The bed-head clears his throat. “Look, I don’t know how to say this…or if it’s even the right thing to do…” Tetsuro looks down at Kenma. “You said I need to face responsibility for what I do…so I’m going to try.” 

Kenma motions for him to go on. He looks proud of Tetsuro. 

Tetsuro recounts the details from the party. 

_So he kisses her. And he pins her to the wall as she moans into the contact and rubs her knee against his crotch. Tetsuro tell himself it’s Kenma. Kenma forgave him and is now leading them into a room that looks a lot like Tooru’s. And when she begins removing her clothes, Tetsuro can see Kenma._

“But…That was it, right? You guys only kissed.” Kenma’s bottom lip quivers. 

Tetsuro stares down at his hands. He takes a step back and towards the doorway. “We went to her house. I woke up in her bed just two hours later. When I realized what happened, I went back out to a bar and...and passed out. Koutaro and Tooru brought me back…”

Tears well up in Kenma’s eyes. His worst fear just became his reality. 

“Kenma,” Tetsuro starts. “I thought we were done for! I didn’t think—“

“No, I always knew there was something!” Kenma pushes Tetsuro out the door, “Get out!” he slams the door closed, then locks it and falls to his knees as sobs rack through his small body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so that happened. putting kuroken aside,,,i feel so bad for bokuto:( anyways, please take care of yourselves during these times! 
> 
> random author fact: i'm currently watching death note and holy shit, it's amazing. L is definitely my favorite right now. 
> 
> edit: hey hey! it appears there was some confusion, so this is just to clarify what has happened between kuroken: kuroo and kenma did not break up! when kenma had asked kuroo for a break, it was like asking for some time alone. this should explain why kenma was so upset when kuroo told him what had happened, because technically, they were still together. so when kuroo said "i thought we were done for", he basically meant that he didn't think he would be able to fix the problems in their relationship. and now that kenma knows what happened, they have finally decided to break up.  
> 
> 
> Next Time: Cheating Bastard


	10. Cheating Bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kuroo…I don’t understand.” 
> 
> “What I say must never leave this place.” 
> 
> Kei nods. 
> 
> Tetsuro takes a deep breath.
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro tells Keiji about how he plans to visit his father and Tetsuro turns to an old friend for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by now, i've incorporated so many gossip girl scenes, so if anyone finds them, i am very sorry lolol

“This all his stuff?” Koutaro asks. 

Keiji nods and helps Koutar carry the remaining box into the awaiting limo. 

“I…didn’t think they would end up like this, to be honest.” Koutaro mumbles. 

Keiji hums in agreement.

“You know ‘Kaashi, you could come over and watch a movie with Toory and I! It could help take off the stress from our shoulders!” 

Keiji smiles. “I’d like that…but right now, I should be with Kenma. He’s still my friend and I want to be there for him.”

“Yeah…guess I should just suck it up and talk to Tetsuro too then.” 

“Have you been feeling better, Bokuto-san?”

“Yeah, I have! It’s all thanks to you Akaashi! I’m sorry again that you had to see that though…”

“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re feeling better now.” 

“Of course! Like I said, it’s all thanks to you! Anyway, I should probably get going. Toory is way more mad at Tetsuro than I am and they’re home alone.”

“Ah, I’m sorry for keeping you out here for long then. It’s getting late. I hope you have a good night Bokuto-san.”

“You too Akaashi.” Koutaro turns to get into his car, but not before looking over his shoulder and calling for Keiji’s attention. “We still on for coffee tomorrow morning?”

“Of course.” 

Koutaro sends him a smile, “Cool.” He hops into the car and watches as Keiji’s figure disappears from his view. He sits back down right and sighs. “You don’t have to come with me everywhere now. It’s been three days since I had the attack.” 

Bokuto Akemi, his mother, clicks her tongue. “I didn’t come here for that.”

“Then why else would you be in my limo? You know I don’t want to see you.” 

“Yoshimi wanted me to remind you that you are leaving for Hyogo next week. He’s sending a plane and some suits, so be on the lookout.”

“A plane!? I could’ve just taken the train.” 

“You know how your step-father gets. Overdramatic presence and all of that. Especially since you will be taking over his company in a few years.”

“I don’t want it.” 

“Well that’s not really up to you, is it?”

Koutaro’s eye twitches. 

“You never introduced me to that boy.”

“Do _NOT_ bring him into this.” 

“Have some respect for your mother Koutaro,” Akemi slaps him across the face. “We’re here.”

“Take her back home sir. And please tell Hiroshi I hope he gets well soon.” Koutaro instructs the fill-in driver before exiting the car with the boxes from Keiji’s. He wasn’t even phased by the sting on his cheek. 

“Kou-chan! I was wai—IS THAT A HANDPRINT ON YOUR CHEEK!?” Tooru shrieks. 

“Here, give these to Tetsuro. I’m going out.” Koutaro drops the boxes near the front door. He takes his cell phone out and dials a number before pressing it to his ear. “Hello, this is Bokuto Koutaro, can you send a car please? Preferably with a nice and less devious driver? Thanks.” 

“Kou-chan, what’s going on?” 

“I have to go talk to Koushi. I’ll come back later.” 

“Kou-chan!” 

But it was too late. Koutaro’s car had arrived and was now taking him to Koushi’s house. 

Tooru whines for a bit then takes the boxes inside the flat. He passes by a staring Tetsuro who was only in his boxers. When Tooru finishes putting the boxes away, he takes a seat on the couch and stares back at Tetsuro. 

“I said I was sorry.” the bed-head starts. 

Tooru snorts. “Oh, you should be. You lost a great person.” 

“You act as if he’ll never speak to me again.” 

“He probably won’t. And then Akaashi-kun won’t talk to you, and along with him, Koutaro will stop too. He can’t even be in the same house as you. You’re lucky I’m even speaking to your dumbass.” 

“And my dumbass greatly appreciates it, your highness.” 

Tooru narrows his eyes. “It’s all just a joke to you isn’t it?”

“Ignore me, I stole some of Koutaro’s edibles.”

“Ugh.” Tooru grimaces and leaves to go to his room.

Tetsuro clenches his jaw and decides to turn on the TV. Trashy romance cliche, a crime documentary, and a kids movie. He’ll go with the kid’s movie. Already, there’s singing and dancing at the start of it, so he decides to go for the trashy romance one. Documentaries remind him of nights at Kenma’s, and he doesn’t need to be thinking of that right now. 

Tetsuro leans his head back on the couch as a sigh escapes his lips. He ruined his relationship with Kenma, Koutaro, and Tooru. Even Keiji is on Kenma’s side for this one, so…bravo. Tetsuro has no one to turn to this time. He just hoped that word won’t get out to his other friends, or else he really won’t have anyone on his side anymore. 

His mind takes him back to Kenma crying on the other side of the door. His small whimpers and sniffles, and when Tetsuro thought the tears were over, Kenma would start crying all over again. Tetsuro stayed on the outside of the door until he was sure Kenma could stand properly and go to bed. It took a full hour to hear Kenma’s small footsteps retreat. And when Tetsuro ran into Keiji outside, the two exchanged no words. 

Tetsuro wonders if this would affect Koutaro and Keiji’s friendship. He hopes it doesn’t. Although, being friends with a cheater doesn’t exactly make you all too amazing. It feels weird calling himself a cheater. Tetsuro doesn’t believe it. The night he told Kenma didn’t happen. Koutaro is in his room getting high. Tooru is coming back because he isn’t angry. Keiji will bring some coffees over. And Kenma is going to walk through the door, jump on Tetsuro, and tell him it was all a bad dream. 

But none of it happens. And no matter how much Tetsuro doesn’t want to believe it, a cheater is a cheater. There’s no changing what happened. 

Then again, Tetsuro can never seem to face the truth anyway. 

———————————————

Koutaro sticks his hands in his pockets and closely watches the people around him. Other people find it weird, but it was comforting to Koutaro. If he didn’t have a full view of his surroundings, he would probably start crying. 

He had just ditched his limo after visiting Koushi and Daichi. He told them about his mother and having to go visit Yoshimi, which took the two of them off guard. The couple could feel Koutaro’s mood begin to drop, and so they quickly did their best to comfort him. But alas, it didn’t work. 

Which is how Koutaro found himself on the street, staring at random people. He sees someone out on a run on the street across from him. There’s a mother walking her son while on the phone that has Koutaro following them with his eyes. The kid could get hurt if the mother didn’t pay attention. When she finally got off the phone, Koutaro looked away and into a store window. There, he saw a couple who reminded him of Tetsuro and Kenma. 

Koutaro tears his gaze away. He was so disappointed in Tetsuro. Never in a million years did he think Tetsuro would cheat. We’re talking about the guy who would call Koutaro at four in the morning, whisper yelling into the phone, _“KENMA JUST WALKED IN WITH MY HOODIE! I THINK I’M DYING!”_

Koutaro chuckles a bit at the memory. He’d like to visit Kenma, but Koutaro doesn’t really know how to comfort people. He can’t even do his own taxes, how would he manage to cheer up the stoic Kenma? Koutaro should probably get some tips from another stoic person. He’d call Hajime, but the guy had already left back to America for his school. Maybe Kei? Ah, Kei isn’t working the afternoon shift and he’d never told his friends his address ever since Koutaro and Tetsuro had done the unoriginal toilet paper prank in his apartment. 

Oh my god, why didn’t he think of that!? Koutaro could go to Keiji! Keiji always made him feel better anyway. Yeah, he’d just go see Keiji. And so Koutaro makes his way towards the cafe, stopping to make sure his bracelets were on tight before continuing his walk. Hopefully, by the time he made it there, he’d have come up with a way to tell Keiji he was leaving for a week. 

Koutaro enters the cafe with a sudden confident aura. Having been going there for a while now, he was beginning to feel more comfortable around there. Wait. Koutaro looks around for a bit. Would Keiji even be there? They had agreed on meeting up tomorrow, meaning Koutaro had come in here for nothing! 

Just as Koutaro was going to exit the cafe, a voice captures his attention. 

“Bokuto-san?”

Koutaro turns around with tears at the corner of his eyes. “AKKKAAASHIIII!” he cries out and traps the younger in a tight hug. 

Keiji awkwardly pats his back and waits for Koutaro to calm down while leading them to the back corner. 

“Bokuto-san, what’re you doing here?” 

“Nuh-uh! What’re you doing here Akaashi!? I thought you didn’t have work today!” 

“Ah, well, I don’t. But I decided that maybe Kenma could use some alone time. So I came here to do some homework and get ahead of my classes.”

“Uwaahh! You’re so smart Akaashi!”

“Thank you. So why don’t you answer my question then Bokuto-san? What’re you doing here?”

“OH!” Koutaro smiles. “Well, I came to visit you! But I didn’t think you would be working, so I was just about to leave! But you are here, so I get to annoy you!” 

“You’re not annoying Bokuto-san.”

Koutaro waves him off. “Now now Akaashi! I have to tell you something!” 

“What is it?” 

“I’m moving to Hyogo!” 

Keiji’s heart stops. “W-what? You’re moving to Hyogo!? When!?”

Koutaro catches his mistake and stutters out words immediately. “A-ah, wait! N-not moving there! Sorry! I didn’t word it right! I-I meant that I would be going there for a week!” 

Keiji glares and keeps his mouth shut. 

“AKKAAASHIII! I’m sorry for scaring you!”

Still, nothing. 

Koutaro pouts. “Akaashi…” 

Keiji relents. “It’s…fine…You scared me for a second Bokuto-san.” 

Koutaro lets out a sigh of relief. 

“Uh, when do you leave Bokuto-san?”

“Next week!” 

“Huh. What will you be doing there?”

“Visiting my bastard of a step-father!” 

Keiji could hear Akinori snort from behind the counter. 

“Bokuto-san, why don’t we go on a walk and talk about this?” 

“Oh! Sure Akaashi!” 

Once Keiji was sure he got all his stuff, they begin their walk outside. “If you think he’s…a bastard…then why visit him?” Keiji starts. 

“My mother is forcing me to! They’re sending a plane for me and everything!” 

“But if you don’t want to go, why is she forcing you?” 

“Because that’s how my mom is!” 

“That’s how she is…?”

“Yup! She’s a mean one! The first day in our flat, she was acting all nice towards Tooru, Tetsuro and me because she wasn’t going to be able to manipulate me anymore!” 

The way Koutaro spoke so forwardly with an optimistic tone sent chills down Keiji’s spine. How could a person do that?

It takes a while before Keiji is able to form words. “M-manipulate you? How?”

“Uhhh, she pressed charges against me before! And let’s see…she also uses my step-fathers for money! The guy I’m visiting next week—Yoshimi—she wants me to visit him so I could take over the company and give her the money from it!” When Keiji doesn’t say anything, Koutaro continues. “I guess you could say I was…like a puppet…to her. But now that I barely even talk to her anymore, she can’t do that!” 

“Bokuto-san, I don’t mean to pry, but don’t you ever feel like your whole life has been planned out for you? That you’re just going to end up like your parents?” 

Koutaro laughs. “Akaashi, man—that’s a dark thought.” he laughs some more. 

“Bokuto-san.” 

“Sorry, sorry. But um, it’s not like they control every aspect of my life, ya know. They just want influence over it. I…I don’t really know how to explain it…”

“Well, why don’t we stop talking about it? We only have a few more days to spend with one another, and I intend on making it count.” 

Koutaro beams with joy and puts an arm around Keiji. “What should we do first Akaashi?”

“Do you want to go chase the ducks again or feed them this time?”

“DUCKS NEED THEIR FOOD AGGHAASHEEE!!”

“Feeding the ducks it is then.” 

———————————————

Kei glares at the man across from him. 

Keiji had been right. Drunks always wandered around the shop. Just not into it. 

Kei takes a deep breath and rubs his temples. “Kuroo-san…what do you think you’re doing here?” 

“I came to visit my junior!”

“Ew, stop talking. Your breath stinks.” 

“TSUKKKIII!” 

Kei rolls his eyes. How annoying. He was just going to close up and take some pastries to him and Tadashi’s apartment right when the stupid bed-head began repeatedly knocking on the windows. And now Tadashi would be forced to wait. 

“Can I just please have Oikawa’s number? He needs to come pick you up.” 

“He’s mad at me.” 

“Fine. I’ll try Bokuto.” 

“He’s mad at me too.”

Kei gives him a small glance. “I’ll try Kenma then. Maybe he could take you back to his dorm.” 

“I’m dead to him.” 

Kei lowers his phone. “What did you do to Kenma-san?”

Tetsuro looks away. “I cheated on him.” 

“You’re lying.” 

“I am not!” 

“You are.” 

“Ugh. How would you know?”

“You sobered up pretty quick.” 

“Why would you think I’m lying? Why would I do that? It ruined my friendships and my relationship with the people I love.” 

“I don’t know why you would lie. You just are. Now please call someone to pick you up. Tadashi is waiting for me.”

“Oh! How is freckles?” 

“He’s fine. Number please.” 

“Tsukki! We haven’t talked in forever! Don’t kick me out so soon!” 

“Why did you lie then?” 

“I didn’t!” 

Kei crosses his arms. He was getting impatient. And this was taking too much of his time. He leans forward and glares. 

“You wouldn’t cheat on Kenma-san because you love him. You still do and you always will. Why else do I think you’re lying? Whenever you get drunk, you pass out. You would’ve been sleeping in Bokuto-san’s room, or Oikawa’s. And even if you did cheat, you wouldn’t be here. You’d be at a bar, or begging Kenma to fix things.” 

Tetsuro is stunned into silence. He shakes his head. “No…no—you don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“So then you did cheat on Kenma.” 

“I—I did! I had sex with her and it felt damn better than it ever would with him! I…I…I don’t love him! And I won’t ever love him again!” 

Kei laughs. “You’re a liar.” 

“Don’t call me that!” 

“Fine. You did sleep with her then. You’re a cheating bastard.” 

“I-I am!” 

“Now call someone to pick you up.” 

“Just...Just wait!”

“For what!?”

Tetsuro can’t keep this secret anymore. The weight is too much for him. He’s fighting with himself on this. Should he or should he not? Why is making decisions so hard!?

“I-I didn’t actually sleep with her…”

Kei looks confused. “Then why did you tell Bokuto and Oikawa that? And Kenma?” 

“Because if they knew what really happened, then they would never talk to me again!”

“Kuroo…I don’t understand.” 

“What I say must never leave this place.” 

Kei nods. 

Tetsuro takes a deep breath. 

“...I killed someone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick heads up: things are gonna go from 0-100 fast. i'll try to edit the next few chapters so it's not too overwhelming, but as i said, things are gonna go pretty fast. so if there's any confusion, please let me know! 
> 
> author fact: my current favorite song is 'in safe hands' by badly drawn boy. talking about that song, you guys should check out this one-shot i created! it's bokuaka angst so be careful. 
> 
> Next Time: Bokuto Koutaro, Age 24, 6’2”, and Tax Evader


	11. Bokuto Koutaro, Age 22, 6’2”, and Tax Evader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But I love him...” 
> 
> “But he isn’t yours.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Keiji is disappointed, Koutaro is angry with himself, and Tetsuro finally explains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU READ, SOME TW: BRIEF MENTIONS OF A SEIZURE AND DRUGS!!!

Saturday again. The one time a week students could at least try to rest from all their stupid classes. And to add to the joy, it was finally a week long break. Which holiday? Koutaro doesn’t know. All he remembers is that the week in which he could’ve spent with Keiji, will instead be spent with his step-father down his throat. 

Koutaro was currently in his limo while on the phone with Tooru. The latter was trying to calm down a nervous Koutaro, who would have to see his mother to try on the suits Yoshimi had sent over. Koutaro hated spending any time with his mother at all. She would always end up getting into Koutaro’s head and mess around with his morals.

“How’s Tetsuro?” Koutaro changes the subject.

**_“Still freaked out. I can’t believe four-eyes had to tell us.”_**

“Tooru…you don’t think Tetsuro really killed someone…do you?” 

**_“New Tetsuro? Of course he wouldn’t. But with the old Tetsuro returning…I don’t know what to think.”_**

****

Moving along to Keiji, he was finally resting after spending the last few days with Koutaro. Keiji did want to see the man again, sure, but he knew Kenma also needed someone to be there for him. No word from Tetsuro at all had Kenma locked up in his room alone. 

“Kenma. Come out here! You need to eat!” Keiji banged on the door. When there’s no answer, Keiji sighs. “I have a question about Bokuto-san!” 

Finally, the door opens. Kenma peaks out and silently makes his way to the blue bean bag that took up way too much space in the dorm. 

Keiji takes a seat on the second bean bag and motions for Kenma to eat. 

“You said you had a question about Koutaro.” Kenma mumbles. 

“Ah, yes…He’s going to be visiting his step-father this upcoming week. He’s leaving on Monday.” 

“Yoshimi?” 

Keiji nods, causing a quiet groan to sound from the blonde’s throat. 

Kenma takes a bite of the onigiri on his plate. “His mother put him up to it didn’t she?” 

“Yes…he said she manipulates him? And she pressed charges against him?” 

Kenma snorts. “Was _that_ your question?” 

Keiji nods once more. 

Kenma puts his plate down and stares at the ceiling. “It was pretty long ago…let’s see…” 

“Take your time.” 

“It started when Koutaro was approached by a man who was asking him to sign a petition for a historic building that was going to be demolished.” 

———————————————

_“Did you read the proposal at least?” Koutaro asks._

_“Why would I do that?” Akemi glares._

_“The tax break will be huge…saving a landmark buys us amazing P.R….engenders goodwill in the community will pave the way for future investments…plus it’s a great place.” When Akemi doesn’t speak, Koutaro grabs his portfolio off his desk and opens it to show her the pictures of inside the bar. “Look mother, let me take you there and show you around. I’ll make you a believer.”_

_“What I believe is that you wasted my time.”_

_“This is a good move for the company. I stand behind it.”_

_“Oh really? Bokuto Koutaro stands behind this? What’s that worth?_

_“I gave people my word about this. They’re counting on me.”_

_“Well luckily, letting people down is your forte.”_

_Akemi leaves Koutaroo behind with tears and anger seeping through his golden eyes._

_“Come on man! Don’t listen to her! She’s old, and has had multiple marriages!” Tetsuro tries to cheer up Koutaro._

_“We told you she’s a bitch.” Tooru shrugs._

_Kenma pats Koutaro’s back at an attempt to soothe him._

_“She was born poor. I was born loaded. But if the only way to impress her is by starting with nothing, then why doesn’t she just take it all away?” Koutaro sniffles._

_Tetsuro passes him a bottle of hard liquor to which Koutaro thanks him. He opens the bottle and washes the lump in his throat down with it._

_“She…is a bitch.” is all Tooru can say._

_Koutaro lets out a whine. “I had the idea. I did the work! She says I can’t be committed to school…and she’s the one with all the divorces and shit.”_

_Tetsuro snickers to himself._

_Around two days later, Koutaro was still hung up on the idea of keeping hope alive for the people who had asked him to invest._

_“A bar!” Koutaro cheers._

_“You’re not old enough to drink.” Kenma deadpans._

_“But I am almost old enough to run a bar! This will keep people coming! And that way, the building won’t go down! It’s a win-win!”_

_And so Koutaro kept to his idea. Until Akemi found out. Claiming Koutaro had stolen money off of her, police slammed the doors to their house open and took Koutaro away in handcuffs, resulting in Tetsuro, Tooru, and Kenma to be gathered at the police station._

_“I just can’t believe Akemi had her own son arrested. Who does that?” Tetsuro scoffs._

_“Someone who’s never been arrested, obviously.” Kenma replies._

_“When I called Akemi, she said she was on her way! So where is she now?” Tooru throws his hands up in frustration._

_“Hello, I’m Bokuto Akemi and I’m here for my son, Bokuto Koutaro.” Akemi’s voice is heard from the waiting area. She turns to the three boys and sighs._

_Tooru crosses his arms and glares. Kenma shakes his head in disappointment. Tetsuro can’t even look at her._

_Soon enough, Akemi enters the waiting area with Koutaro at her side._

_“You forced me to do this Koutaro. If you would’ve just left the damn bar alone.”_

_“I didn’t force you to do anything!” Koutaro raises his voice. “This is just you being just like Aito!”_

_“Do not compare me to that disgrace!”_

_“Don’t worry. You won’t be seeing me around for much longer anyways.”_

_“What the hell are you talking about?”_

_“Kou-chan, what?” Tooru interrupts._

_“I’m moving out.” Koutaro hisses at his mother._

_“When you grow up and become a parent, you will realize that sometimes you have to do things that won’t win you popularity points.”_

_“When I become a parent, I will be nothing like you.”_

_“Tooru, as much as I know you want to step in, this is between them.” Tetsuro pulls Tooru back._

_“You say that now, but just you wait Koutaro. We all turn out like this.” Akemi shakes her head._

_“I would rather give my kids to their other parent than end up like you,” Koutaro pauses, then laughs, “Oh wait…You did that.”_

_“Koutaro, you—“_

_“Don’t bother mother. I’m leaving.”_

_“Where will you even stay at!? I haven’t even dropped the charges yet, so there’s no way you can leave.”_

_“Actually they were dropped. In case you didn’t notice, you weren’t my phone call.”_

_“Then who was?”_

_“It was me,” Yoshimi enters the room after signing the papers for Koutaro’s release, “Bail money wasn’t that high. And I can’t have this in the papers. It will be cleared up in time, and his records won’t be affected.”_

_“You had no right to barge in like this.” Akemi glares._

_“I have every right, Akemi.”_

_“And he’ll be staying with me.” Tetsuro grabs onto Koutaro’s arm. “Goodbye Akemi.”_

———————————————

“What ended up happening? Did his mother accept?” Keiji asks. 

Kenma stares at the floor. “No…she didn’t accept. If I recall, she said ‘I can’t waste time serving to some charity case’. Koutaro was crushed. He didn’t go to school for days because of how saddened he was.”

“It was that bad?” 

“His mother never seemed to care for him before. That was the final blow for him. It was actually what gave him the idea to move out.” 

“You always talk the most when it’s about Bokuto-san.” Keiji smiles. 

Kenma groans and goes back to his game, leaving Keiji to think about Akemi and Koutaro. 

“I’m going to go visit Bokuto-san.” Keiji decides. 

“Isn’t he with his mother?”

“I’ll wait for him.” 

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Koutaro lately. Something I should know?”

A small noise escapes Keiji’s throat. It sounded like a child who had been caught stealing candies from his mother. 

“Do you…like Koutaro?” Kenma finally raises his head from his game.

Keiji grimaces. “…Define like.” 

“Oh my god,” Kenma drops the device. “I totally knew it too. This cannot be serious.” 

“How do you think I feel? I can’t eat and I’ve barely slept. And there’s something in my stomach…fluttering.” 

“Butterflies?” 

Keiji meets Kenma’s gaze. “No! Not butterflies! You’re just saying this because you think I need a boyfriend.” 

Kenma’s lips curl up just a bit. “Are you so in denial that you can’t even see that you have feelings for Koutaro? Face it, Akaashi. Even you can’t mask your feelings for so long.” 

“I don't know what _feelings_ you are referring to Kenma! This is all very casual!” 

“Please,” Kenma scoffs. “I know you. You fall in love quickly, and while you wait for the other to fall in love too, your heart ends up getting broken.” 

“Jeez, thanks for reminding me.” 

“But who knows. Maybe Koutaro likes you too. Try seducing him.” Kenma hops off the bean bag and skimps away to his room. 

“I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR BOKUTO-SAN!” Keiji yells after him. 

“KEEP LYING TO YOURSELF!” Kenma yells back. 

Keiji sighs and checks the time. He sends a quick message to Koutaro before grabbing his stuff to meet him at the cafe for breakfast. And he waits in the back corner. Ten minutes. 30. An hour. 

“Just go to the flat.” Akinori brings him a bag of pastries to go. 

“I don’t know the directions.” 

“I sent them to you. You can thank your senpai later!” 

Keiji rolls his eyes and goes on his way to meet Koutaro at the flat. Hopefully the bi-colored haired boy was there. Keiji stands in front of the door and knocks. The door opens to reveal Tooru. 

“Hello Oikawa-san. I just came by to check on Bokuto-san. He didn’t come by for breakfast and I got worried.” 

Tooru nervously laughs. “Sure, sure. Come in.” 

Keiji thanks him and steps into the flat. “Is everything okay with him?” 

“Ah, I hope so. The trip with Yoshimi is coming up, I’m sure he told you. And…and then Tetsuro.” 

“You seem…more…um—“

“Nicer?” Tooru laughs. “Koutaro wants us to be friends. So…I’m trying to be friends…BUT WE’RE STILL COMPETING!” 

“Over what?”

Tooru looks over his shoulder in search of Bokuto. 

“Um…just give me a second Akaashi-kun. I’ll go get him.”

———————————————

“These feel better than last time...” Koutaro lets a pleasured sigh escape his lips. He sits back and watches as Satori exhales smoke out of his nose. 

“New recipe. Give it a try.” Satori hands a bag of rice crispies to Koutaro. 

“Gift?” Koutaro asks.

“I know how hard things must be right now, so just this once. I should get going. These won’t hit me until I’m at Wakatoshi’s.” Satori shakes his own bag of the snack and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Koutaro!” Tooru runs into the room, then shrieks when he sees Satori. “YOU!”

Koutaro groans. “What!?”

“That’s my cue to leave.” Satori laughs and exits the room. 

“AKAASHI-KUN IS HERE!” Tooru yelps. 

Koutaro sits up immediately. “WHAT!? I WAS GONNA GET ZOOTED TODAY, NOT MEET WITH THE ONE PERSON WHO CAN’T SEE ME LIKE THIS!” 

“Okay, look: remember in our first-year of high school when we found your mom’s secret weed stash?”

“That was my first time getting high.” 

“That’s right, and you had to go through a four course dinner without passing out on that one American dish. The pasta!” 

“Toory, I’m so fucked. Tendou added way more this time!” 

“Just come on! Try to act normal!” 

Koutaro groans again as Tooru takes his hand to lead him to the living room. They take a seat on one couch and wait for someone to speak up. 

“Um, Bokuto-san, I didn’t see you this morning. Is everything alright?” 

Koutaro doesn’t respond, as he was staring up at the ceiling lights in a daze. 

“Koutaro?” Tooru whispers. 

“Sorry...the lights are flickering...We should probably get them fixed soon...”

“You’re just blinking you fucking idiot!” 

“Bokuto-san?” Keiji repeats. 

“Go walk it off!” Tooru shoves Koutaro out. “Akaashi-kun, why don’t you two go on a walk?”

“Why’re you kicking me out?” Koutaro pouts. 

“Koushi is coming over! He and I need to talk with you out of the house!” 

Koutaro groans and leads Keiji out. They begin their walk down the street of houses and gardens which eventually bore Keiji. He turns to Koutaro, who had been unusually quiet, and stares. 

“Is everything okay, Bokuto-san? You seem to be very out of it.” 

“I just—I keep hearing footsteps.” 

“We’re walking.” 

“Oh.”

“Bokuto-san, how high are you?” 

“Bokuto Koutaro, age 22, 6’2”, and tax evader.” 

Keiji is suddenly upset. “I thought I told you not to do those anymore!” 

“Akaashi, things have been weighing down on me. It was just a bit.”

“Bokuto-san, I care about you. So please tell me that you’ll stop!” 

“It’s not that bad Akaashi!” 

The younger scoffs. “I’m leaving.” 

“Akaashi!” Koutaro calls out, but it was too late. 

Keiji was gone. 

———————————————

“I called you an hour ago. You’re late by the way.” Tooru looks up from his phone as Koushi walks into the flat and jumps onto the couch near Tooru. 

“You’re lucky I’m even here at all. Daichi was just about to fuck me!” 

“Ew! Don’t tell me that!” 

“Why am I even here?”

“I need help.”

Koushi smirks. “Help getting over Koutaro?”

“Koushi!” 

“What!?” 

“Please…” Tooru bows his head down. “Please help me.” 

Koushi’s eyes widen. “Tooru…”

“I don’t know what to do Koushi…No matter how much I try…I can’t seem to stop loving him…he means so much to me…”

“When did you first start acknowledging you liked him?” Koushi decides to ask first.

Tooru takes deep breaths to calm himself down. “It’s…It’s stupid.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

Tooru falls onto his back and sighs. 

“It started when we were at a party.”

———————————————

_“WOO-HOO! TERUUU!” Koutaro shouts and runs over to the boy._

_“BO!” Terushima laughs and jumps onto him._

_“They know each other?” Tooru asks Tetsuro._

_The bed-head nods. “Yep. Sometimes, I swear that blond bitch is going to steal my best friend.”_

_“I’m blond too you know.” Kenma grumbles._

_“But you’re not a bitch, honey.”_

_“GUYS! GUYS! MEET TERU!” Koutaro bounces over._

_“Hellooo!” Terushima, already a bit tipsy, waves._

_“I’m gonna go find Iwa-chan.” Tooru rolls his eyes._

_“AH! WAIT! TOORY!” Koutaro latches onto his arm. “Um, I actually had a surprise for you!”_

_Tooru feels his stomach churn. In a good way, of course. “Oh! Yeah, sure! Just let me get something really quick!”_

_“Okay!” Koutaro smiles. “I’ll meet you by the door!”_

_Terushima and Koutaro soon disappear into the crowd, and by the time Tooru turned around, Tetsuro and Kenma had also disappeared._

_“Shittykawa? What the hell are you doing here?” Hajime yells over the music. “I thought you said you weren’t coming!”_

_“Kou-chan wanted to come, so I came with!”_

_“You totally like him Oikawa!” Hanamaki teases._

_“I honestly thought he’d like Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa crosses his arms._

_“SHOO!” Tooru pushes them away. “Okay Iwa-chan, I need tips! I have to impress Kou-chan! Do I look okay?”_

_Hajime slowly nods. “Yeah…you look great…”_

_Tooru smiles. “Okay! I should go meet him now!”_

_“Oikawa wait.” Hajime pulls him back._

_Tooru glances towards the doorway where Koutaro was staring and waiting._

_“What is it Iwa-chan?”_

_“Do you...Do you have feelings for Bokuto?”_

_Tooru stares at his feet with a large blush on his face. He forces a chuckle out. “Where did you get that idea?”_

_“You—You do?”_

_“Iwa-chan, let go of my arm please~” Tooru pats his hand gently. “I have Kou-chan waiting for me.”_

_Hajime doesn’t let go._

_“Okay, yes! I like Kou-chan! Let go now! I don’t want him to think I’m ditching him!”_

_Tooru taps his foot impatiently. He looks over to a waiting Koutaro, who had his hand open and ready._

_“Look. You better not tell anyone what you know Iwa-chan! I have to go now!” Tooru pushes Hajime off of him and hastily walks over to Koutaro._

_“Sorry about the wait Kou-chan!”_

_“It’s okay! But we should probably get going! The surprise won’t be there for long!”_

———————————————

“And then he took you to see the stars.” Koushi recalls.

“Yeah…” 

“That is pretty romantic. But Tooru, come on. These are childhood feelings. You need to let them go.” 

“But I love him...” 

“But he isn’t yours.” 

Tooru closes his eyes. “How…How can I do this?”

“Akaashi-kun and Koutaro.” 

“No.” 

“Tooru—“

“That is torture for me!” 

“It’s the first step. I know you see the way they look at each other.”

Tooru can’t say anything. It hurts too much. 

“Just…think about it. Then come talk to me.” 

“Ah, hey Koutaro!” Koushi greets the boy at the door. 

“Hey Koushi…” 

“And—and Tetsuro is here too!” Koushi nervously laughs. “I’m just gonna go now.” 

The three gather around in the living room. 

“Long time no see.” Tetsuro whistles. 

Koutaro fiddles with the bracelets on his ankle. “…Yeah.” 

“I’m gonna tell Kenma the truth.” 

Tooru opens his eyes again. Koutaro’s fidgeting had come to a halt. 

“What if he doesn’t change his mind about you two?” Koutaro asks. 

“Then that’s what he wants. But…I’m going to tell him the truth and see how he takes it.” 

“It’s gonna be a lot for him,” Tooru exhales out his nose. “But you two have always been good at understanding each other. Maybe this is something you two needed to go through in order to see if your relationship will really work out.”

“Yeah…Yeah maybe.” Tetsuro nods. 

“Kou-chan, you’re being awfully quiet.” 

Koutaro takes his coat off and throws it over the couch. “Sorry…good luck with Kenma. I’m gonna take a nap.” 

Tetsuro and Tooru both watch as Koutaro slumps on over to his room and slams the door closed. 

“Emo-mode.” Tetsuro purses his lips. 

“Don’t pay attention to him. Go tell Ken-chan! I’ll take care of Koutaro.” 

“Okay…Thanks Tooru.” 

Tooru nods.

Tetsuro puts his jacket back on and runs out the door. He stomps on puddles and tries his best to put his hood on, as it’s ruining his hair and soaking through his jeans. He finally reaches the dorms and pays no mind to the woman at the front desk looking at him oddly. 

Tetsuro runs up the stairs and down the hall to bang on the dorm door he hadn’t seen in a long time.

Kenma answers it. “What do you think you’re doing here? I don’t want you here.” 

“Ah, Kenma wait!” Tetsuro puts his foot out to stop the door from closing. “I didn’t cheat on you!” 

Kenma doesn’t look at Tetsuro. 

“Please. Please let me tell you what really happened. I’m here and I want to talk. Please just let me explain.” 

Kenma clenches his jaw. After widening the door for him to come in, he speaks up. “Put your wet clothes in the hamper. You’ll get sick.” 

Tetsuro exhales a breath. He does as told immediately and puts on some shorts and a hoodie Kenma had laying around. When the two of them finally settle down on Kenma’s bed so as to not disturb a studying Keiji, Tetsuro talks. 

“How do I--”

Kenma interjects. “Just start from the...the girl.” 

Tetsuro nods. “Okay...She uh...she kissed me. She wanted to take it further but I stopped and left the flat while everyone was still focused on Koutaro. I went to a bar--”

“Of course.”

“--Where a guy offered me a pick me up. “

“You were gonna do drugs.” Kenma deadpans. 

“Kenma.” Tetsuro sighs. 

“Sorry. Go on.” 

“We went to the back. He wanted to...you know.”

Kenma glares. 

“Uh, moving on. I told him we should do a few lines instead. So I set it up for him and watched as he took it. And that’s when he...he…” 

Tetsuro breaks down and sobs into his arms. What would Kenma think of him? What if he told everyone and they all abandoned him? 

Kenma stays frozen, not knowing what to do as Tetsuro fell apart. “Kuroo…” he whispers. “You don’t have to--”

“I do!” Tetsuro insists, looking up with a tear-stained face. “Just...Just give me a second…” After calming down, Tetsuro sniffles and continues. “He had a seizure…I called the medics and everything, then left. When I came back to see what had happened, I saw them take him away in a body bag.” 

Kenma covers his mouth in shock. 

Tetsuro clears his throat. “When I told Koutaro, he made some phone call to Yoshimi while we were with the cops. I got to tell them what happened and nothing went on my record...or whatever.” 

“What did Koutaro have to do for that?”

“He didn’t tell me.” 

Kenma bites his lip and stares at the ground. 

“Kenma look...I-I’m willing to try again and forget all of this.” Tetsuro says truthfully. “I don’t want to break up with you…”

“Maybe...Maybe I wanna break up with you. Maybe I can’t just forget all of this.” 

Tetsuro’s eyes water again. 

“You lied to me Tetsuro. Over and over again, and it was easy for you.” 

“It wasn’t--!”

“You completely avoided me, then come here to tell me you cheated on me. While you were out getting drunk, I was here crying and thinking of what was so wrong with me that made you leave. You knew how I would react and you didn’t say anything.” 

“I couldn’t say anything though!” 

“Because you were afraid of me finding out _you thought you killed somebody_ …”

“I...I was hoping it would make sense to you...I thought maybe you could understand why I did what I did.”

Kenma sighs and massages his head a bit. 

“So what Ken? We’re back to base one, arguing about the lies in our relationship.”

“I just--I don’t know if we can even fix things anymore.”

“Ken…” 

“Tetsuro, all the lies you’ve been carrying with you are completely destroying you. You even lied to Koutaro and Tooru. Stop thinking about us for one second and take a look at what it’s doing to you. You have to stop it for yourself. You’re better than that.”

Tetsuro looks down at his hands. Slowly, he nods in agreement. “Kenma...You’ve always fought for us, even when things between us were completely fucked. I’m here to fight for you. I want to become a person you can love.” 

“...I do love you…” 

“Please Kenma...Please let me try again.” 

Kenma exhales a shaky sigh. “Okay…” he decides. “But if things don’t work--”

“I know.” Tetsuro grabs his hand. “I know. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't think kenma is letting go of all of this so easily. this is one of the biggest obstacles kuroken will face in their relationship. and as for akaashi--well, akaashi's just worried for bokuto. oikawa needs to let go of him, and bokuto's coping mechanisms are hurting him and his friendships. oh well. 
> 
> extra long chapter today!! hope you guys enjoyed and a reminder: if there's any confusion, please let me know!! make sure to take care of yourselves! and if you celebrate christmas, i hope you had a good one! 
> 
> Next Time: My Heart Just Got Broken, Didn’t It?


	12. My Heart Just Got Broken, Didn't It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why is it bothering you so much anyways?” Tetsuro runs his hands through Koutaro’s hair. “You never get this upset when me or Tooru are mad at you.” 
> 
> “It’s…It’s different with ‘Kaashi…I don’t know why…I just hate whenever he’s sad or whatever…” 
> 
> Tetsuro blinks. How should he word this? “Dude…you like Akaashi.” he decides on saying.
> 
> or: 
> 
> Tetsuro and Kenma try again, Koutaro realizes his feelings, and Tooru gets heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU READ! TW: MENTION OF BLOOD AND REFERENCED SELF-HARM! THERE IS ALSO AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN THIS CHAPTER, SO PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUCH SUBJECTS!!!
> 
> i have to say, this chapter is definitely not one of my best works, so i apologize in advance!

“He hasn’t come out of his room since yesterday!” Tooru complains into the phone. “Nothing I say will get him out! Who knows if he’s even alive!” 

Koushi chuckles a bit through the phone. **_“You know how his emo-mode gets. He’s probably hiding under the blankets with a pillow over his head.”_**

“Yeah…I just hope he’s okay. He left with Akaashi-kun and came back all sad. I wonder what happened between them.”

**_“Maybe you’ll find out soon.”_**

“I hope so. I’m gonna call you back later. I need to see why Koutaro is being like this.”

**_“Good luck!”_**

Tooru hangs up and runs a hand through his hair. 

“I’m gonna go out. I’ll be back later.” Tetsuro passes through the living room. 

“Not so fast!” Tooru runs over to him. “Where are you going!? Kou-chan is miserable!”

Tetsuro rubs the nape of his neck awkwardly. “Ken and I are gonna go talk things out. He said he has a surprise for me.” 

“Oh…That’s great then! You guys belong together! And while you’re there, ask Akaashi-kun what happened between him and Kou-chan!”

“Oh that’s right…He still hasn’t left his room?”

“Not even to grab food.” 

Tetsuro flashes him a look of sympathy. “I’ll ask Akaashi. Just try to get Koutaro out.”

“Yeah I know.” 

“Alright, wish me luck!” 

Tetsuro grabs his keys and begins his walk to the dorms. It seems to be a pretty good day for him so far. Aside from Koutaro, of course. But Tooru said he would take care of it, so Tetsuro trusted him. 

Oddly enough, Kenma had asked Tetsuro to wear a tie, so whatever Kenma had planned, Tetsuro was excited. 

“Kenma!” Tetsuro calls once he sees the pudding-head. 

Kenma gives a small wave and waits for Tetsuro to catch up. “We’re gonna go walking. Follow me.” 

“Um, okay?” Tetsuro gives an awkward laugh. 

It’s silent as they walk along the sidewalk. The leaves rustle around and cars skid past them. It’s not exactly what Tetsuro had in mind. 

“Kenma, what are we doing?” 

No answer. 

Tetsuro sighs and tucks his hands into his pockets. “I told you I was sorry. Why aren’t we back to normal?” 

“Tetsuro, you said you cheated on me and after a few days pass, you come back saying you killed somebody. It’s gonna take me some time to go back to ‘normal’.”

“Okay, then answer me this: Why are we walking to nowhere?” 

“We’re walking towards somewhere. Now please _shut up_.” 

Tetsuro pouts and continues following Kenma. 

Soon enough, a line of houses begin to appear. They look comfy and quaint. Maybe Kenma wanted to buy a house together? 

They stop outside a specific house. Tetsuro looks at it and raises a brow. “What are we doing here?” 

“This is…the Saito’s family home. It’s where Saito-san, the man you were with, grew up. And his parents are expecting you.” 

Tetsuro’s eyes widen. They glisten with tears once he turns to Kenma. “…What…?”

“Tetsuro…This is the first step. I know you feel guilty about what happened to Saito-san, so this is the start to maybe letting go.” 

Tetsuro looks towards the doorway. “…How can I do this?”

Kenma grabs hold of Tetsur’s hand and holds it tightly in his. “I’ll be right by your side.” 

Tetsuro looks down at the floor and squeezes his eyes shut. “Okay…” he whispers. “Okay.” 

They walk in, and just a few hours later, it’s midday. The two walk back out, hands still clasped together. 

“You okay?” Kenma asks. 

“No,” Tetsuro answers honestly. “I feel terrible Ken.” 

“You heard what his parents said. Saito-san had been an addict for years. If his own parents couldn’t stop him, how could a stranger? They don’t blame you, which means you shouldn’t blame yourself either.” 

“But it is my fault Ken!” Tetsuro’s voice cracks as they walk along the same path from before. “I’m the one who gave the line that killed him!” 

“Those were his drugs Tetsuro. If you hadn’t given them to him, he would’ve taken it anyway.” 

“Then why do I still feel so bad?”

“Because sometimes, being a good person takes a lot out of someone. You felt so bad about it that you were able to go and talk to his parents…That makes me really proud of you.” 

Tetsuro swallows the lump in his throat. He turns to Kenma and embraces him immediately. “Thank you…” 

Kenma pats his back gently. “Of course.” 

They let go and go back to walking with—of course—their hands still held tightly together. 

“What should we do next?” Kenma glances at Tetsuro. 

“We should probably go see Koutaro. He’s been in emo-mode since yesterday.” Tetsuro chuckles a bit. 

“Hm. Well then tell him I said hey. I should go check on Akaashi. He’s been really quiet ever since last night.” 

They stop where their paths split. 

“Tetsuro…we still need to talk.” 

“I know…I love you Ken.” 

Kenma looks down at the concrete and nods. “I know.” 

———————————————

The phone rings. A glass of alcohol is set harshly onto the bedside table. The man rolls off the bed and lets out a groan of pain. He picks himself up off the ground and jumps back into bed, phone in hand. 

“What!?” Koutaro spits into the phone. 

**_“The plane will be there tomorrow evening. I expect you to be well dressed and with manners. And make sure you clean those bracelets of yours. It’s embarrassing to walk around with blood dripping down your wrist.”_ ** Yoshimi instructs.

Koutaro trembles with anger. He throws his phone at a wall and watches as it falls to pieces. “Don’t talk about my bracelets like that,” he grumbles. 

Not even a fucking greeting. Blood dripping down his wrists? Embarrassing? Koutaro scoffs. His step-father should be consoling him, not making him feel worse than he already was. Koutaro feels like he should probably just leave for Hyogo now and get it all over with. He’s having a bad day, so why not just go?

“I HATE EVERYTHINGG!!” he screams into his pillow. He sobs into it and holds it close to his face. creating a feeling of suffocation. He lets out more sorrow-filled cries and throws the pillow away from him. 

_“Bokuto-san, I don’t mean to pry, but don’t you ever feel like your whole life has been planned out for you? That you’re just going to end up like your parents?”_

Koutaro _doesn’t_ want to end up like his parents. That’s the only reason he’s tried cutting off all ties with his step-fathers, especially his mother. 

Fuck, why is it all getting to him right now!? Koutaro hides his head under all the blankets for a quick solution to his upcoming anxiety attack. 

The blankets are covering him and keeping him safe. He shuts his eyes tight to keep the feeling of dread away. 

It doesn’t work. 

Koutaro sits up from under all the blankets and gasps for air. His hands claw at his throat, desperately aching for the air he knows he’s getting but can’t feel. “Fu…Fu..Fuck…” he whispers. 

He’s going to die, isn’t he? He’s going to die without apologizing to Keiji or saying goodbye to his friends. He’ll die without even trying those new kneepads he had gotten! 

Holy shit his chest hurts like a bitch. But he can’t do anything because just like last time he had an attack, no one understood any of the words coming out of his mouth. So even if he were to call for help, Tooru would probably think Koutaro was just jacking off or something. 

Koutaro reaches for the bottle of tequila on his night table. Maybe if it fell, the glass breaking would make Tooru come in to help him. Koutaro’s trembling arm stretches out for it. He was so close, but the sweat and tears in his eyes were clouding his vision. 

He can’t reach it. 

Koutaro falls back onto the bed and stares up at his ceiling. His eyes close. He does his best to calm himself. One hand on his chest and another is still at his throat. In through his nose and out his mouth. It hurts to keep this up, so he settles for breathing in and out of his mouth instead. 

Slowly and gently…That was it. 

Koutaro opens his eyes again. He takes a few more breaths before finally looking around his room. His blankets were all on the floor. His phone was broken. Liquor spilled all over the night table. And Tetsuro was running into his room. 

“Koutaro!” Tetsuro yells and hugs him tightly. He lets go and holds Koutaro by the shoulders. “You okay!? What happened!?” 

Koutaro sniffles and wipes the snot and tears away with his shirt. “Had…Had an anxiety attack…It hurt…It hurt so bad.” his voice cracks. 

Tetsuro hugs him again and holds him tight. From previous attacks, Tetsuro had learned that after they happen, Koutaro likes to be taken care of and babied. So he held him there, close to his chest. 

“Tooru!” Tetsuro calls, making sure to move away from Koutaro’s still sensitive ears. 

Tooru comes in causally. “What?” Once his eyes land on Koutaro’s shaking body, he gasps and comes forward to join their hug. 

“You weren’t with him!?” Tetsuro growls. 

“I-I didn’t hear!”

Tetsuro scoffs. He lays Koutaro back down hands him a bottle of water he had grabbed from the kitchen. “Here. Drink.” 

Koutaro takes large gulps of the water being given to him and thanks Tetsuro before lying back down. 

“What triggered it this time?” Tetsuro asks after putting the bottle on the nightstand. 

Koutaro closes his eyes. “Y-Yoshimi called...Talked shit about my bracelets. Said that blood dripping down my wrists was embarrassing. And…And Akaashi.” 

Oh shit. Tetsuro totally forgot to ask Keiji what had happened. 

“What happened with Akaashi-kun?” Tooru asks. 

“He’s mad at me. For getting _high_.” 

Tooru gets off the bed. He gives them both one look before running out of the room. The front door slamming shut has Tetsuro and Koutaro sighing. 

“Why is it bothering you so much anyways?” Tetsuro runs his hands through Koutaro’s hair. “You never get this upset when me or Tooru are mad at you.” 

“It’s…It’s different with ‘Kaashi…I don’t know why…I just hate whenever he’s sad or whatever…” 

Tetsuro blinks. How should he word this? “Dude…you like Akaashi.” he decides on saying. 

“Of course I do!" Koutaro feels his breathing even out. "I like you and Kenma too! And Toory!” 

“No no no! You like _like_ Akaashi.” 

“Like _like_ doesn’t exist for me Tetsu...I told you this already!” 

“You totally like _like_ him!” 

“I do not like _like_ him!” 

“You do!” 

“Do not!”

“DO!”

“DO NOT!” 

“DO NOT!” Tetsuro repeats after Koutaro. 

“I DO! WAIT—NO! YOU TRICKED ME!” 

“You said it yourself. You like _like_ Akaashi.” 

“Oh my god…I like _like_ Akaashi.” 

“Yes, bro. You do.” 

“I LIKE _LIKE_ AKAASHI!” 

“YEAH!” 

“I LIKE LIKE AKAASHI KEIJI!!” 

“Yes yes. Now let me go get some towels from your bathroom.” Tetsuro pats Koutaro on the shoulder and leaves the room. 

Bokuto Koutaro like _likes_ Akaashi Keiji. 

Sudden realization hits Koutaro hard. Oh no. This is why he told himself he would never like like someone again. Two problems. And they both start with A. 

Number one? His anxiety. 

Number two? 

Koutaro sighs. Of course this would eventually happen. 

Akemi and her blabbermouth. 

“Can we…Can we eat some ice cream? I don’t want to get high for the rest of the day.” Koutaro finally chuckles. 

“Yeah dude, of course. Let me get the blankets. And the ice cream.” 

“Hey wait. How’d things go with Kenma?” 

Tetsuro smiles. “I got to talk to the guy’s parents. I-I guess it isn’t my fault it happened. Ken and I just have to talk things through now.” 

“I’m happy for you. I’m glad you guys are finally starting to talk about it all.” 

“Yeah…I am too.” 

Koutaro grins. 

“So…Ice cream?” 

———————————————

When the knock on the door alerts Keiji, he walks over to it expecting to see Koutaro. So you can say he’s a little more than surprised when he sees it’s actually Tooru. 

“O-Oikawa-san. Good evening. I didn’t expect to see you…here.” Keiji admits. 

“Yes, I know. Which is why I need you to be silent as I say my speech. Understood?”

Keiji nods.

“I know you harbor feelings for Kou-chan. Everyone can see it except him apparently,” Tooru’s short laugh follows this. “He is very lucky to have you by his side. Last year had been…rough on him, to say the least. But when I saw you two yesterday, I finally saw how much of an impact you had on him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Koutaro no longer smokes. He’s trying his best to stay away from drugs, which is especially hard for him. He drinks every now and then at parties and when he’s going though a rough patch, but nowhere near as much as he used to. And he’s getting used to being around people again,” Tooru takes a deep breath. “Koutaro has become more…Koutaro, again.”

Keiji smiles. “I see my emotions are getting harder to hide.”

“No need to hide them anymore; I know Kou-chan likes you too. He just needs time to realize it. As I was saying before, this…sudden change in Kou-chan…I don’t know if you’re responsible for that, but I know that it’s not some type of coincidence.”

The younger boy waits for Tooru to finish his speech. 

“You belong with Kou-chan. This argument you two had…I know it’s been weighing down on you.”

“You sound experienced in this, Oikawa-san.”

Tooru looks down at his feet with a sad smile. “I too used to feel this way…”

Keiji looks shocked. “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate of me to say.” 

“No worries,” Tooru waves him off. “Now, as I was saying. I think Kou-chan needs to be reminded of how much you care for him. Screw your pride—“

“Oikawa-san, no offense, but you sound like a hypocrite.”

“EXCUSE ME, I’M TRYING TO BE HEARTFELT!”

“I’m sorry. Please go on.”

Tooru rubs his temples and sighs. “Kou-chan is at the flat being miserable. He had an anxiety attack as well and needs you right now. Will you come with me?”

Keiji doesn’t hesitate. He smiles and nods. “Yes, Oikawa-san, I would love to.”

Tooru reaches for the dorm door. Slowly, he turns to Keiji and gives him a proud look. 

“Good…and it’s Tooru.”

———————————————

“Dude…” Koutaro groans. “I totally forgot I was lactose intolerant.” 

Tetsuro cackles out loud and throws the now empty tub of ice cream away. 

“Hey…” Tooru enters the flat. 

“Toory!” Koutaro waves. Keiji enters behind Tooru, causing Koutaro to stand up immediately. “Akaashi…” 

“Hey, Bokuto-san.” 

“Let’s go.” Tetsuro whispers over to Tooru. 

Koutaro does his best to hurry his routine of checking the locks on the door before settling onto his bed, in his room. 

“W-What’re you doing here? I thought you were mad at me, o-or something.” Koutaro mumbles. 

“I’m not mad, Bokuto-san. I just don’t want you to do yourself any harm.” 

Koutaro smiles. “You’re a writer, right?” 

Keiji raises a brow. “Quick change of subject,” he chuckles. “I want to be.” 

“Then let’s make a deal! I stop getting high and you let me read one of your stories!” 

Keiji rolls his eyes playfully. “Deal.”

“WOO-HOO! Okay, let me go get some more ice cream Tetsu and I have hidden! I’m lactose intolerant, but oh well. Wait—“ Koutaro stops. “Why are you all sticky?” 

“Oh! I was actually about to take a shower after going on a run. But then Oikawa-san came and well…I didn’t get the chance to.” 

“You can use my shower! Or the bath! Whatever you want!”

“Thank you Bokuto-san. Then, may I borrow some clothes?”

“Yeah yeah! Let me get some out!” 

Koutaro quickly rushes to get some clothes out and leaves the room as Keij gets ready for his shower.

“Akaashi forgave me Tooru!” Koutaro jumps around. When Tooru doesn’t answer, Koutaro sits on the couch next to him and pokes him. “Tooru?” 

“Kou-chan…You know how I used to like you, right?”

“Well, yeah.” 

“And you know I still do right?” 

“…What?”

“Look,” Tooru turns to him. “I know you like Akaashi.” 

“How do you people know this...”

“Kou-chan…I want you to be happy…and to do that, I need to get out of your way. I need to move on.” 

“…”

“I’ll always love you, Koutaro. That will never change. But my childhood feelings for you…I’m going to let them go now.” 

No words are needed for the two of them. 

Koutaro only smiles and pulls Tooru in for a hug. 

It’s comforting, in a way. Koutaro understands, and Tooru is proud of himself. 

Keiji’s head peaks out of the corner. He then walks further out while shyly clutching at the hem of the shirt he wore. The shirt that smelled a lot like Koutaro. 

Tooru’s eyes open. He watches as Keiji stares at them with a fond smile. “Kou-chan, your boyfriend is going to get jealous if you keep holding me like this,” he teasingly whispers. 

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Koutaro whispers back and lets go of Tooru. 

“Ice cream time?” Keiji asks, his hands now behind his back. 

Koutaro takes one look at Keiji before his own face is burning up. Keiji looked amazing. Even if the shirt was too big on him and slid off his shoulder, and the shorts he had on were a bit too small, Koutaro thought Keiji looked perfect. 

It’s like those cool things in the movies where everything around the two main characters gets all blurry, and all you can see is the way the lovers look at each other. And then one of them is all shy and stuff while the other is just watching in total admiration. 

Koutaro thought those scenes were stupid and overused. The world doesn’t stop, everything around them is still visible, and there’s no violins that helps to…you know, get the mood going. 

But the way Keiji looked in something as simple as a T-shirt and shorts…Koutaro couldn’t see anything else. And was that instrumental music Tooru was playing on his phone? 

Keiji holds his hand out to Koutaro, who takes it while still staring at the blue-eyed boy. 

“…See ya…Toory…” Koutaro mumbles as he waves goodbye to Tooru and follows Keiji down the hall. Their small giggles are still heard as the door opens and closes. 

Tooru’s mouth goes dry. 

Tetsuro comes up behind Tooru and puts a hand on his shoulder. “You did it huh?” 

“Tetsu-chan…if it was the right thing to do…why does it hurt so much?”

Tetsuro is speechless as he watches tears run down Tooru’s face. 

“My heart just got broken, didn’t it?” Tooru whispers. 

Tetsuro doesn’t know what to say. He pulls Tooru into a tight hug and shuts his eyes tight as he feels the other boy’s shoulder shake with sobs. 

It was all over now. And Tooru would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i said, not one of the best chapters i've written. but we finally have bokuto realizing his feelings for akaashi at least! the next chapter will be quite a bit boring since it details bokuto getting ready to visit his step-father. but after that is where the story begins to take off!! 
> 
> thank you so much for reading!! kudos and comment are always appreciated! as always, if there is any confusion, please tell me!!! 
> 
> Next Time: Welcome Back, Koutaro


	13. Welcome Back, Koutaro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You think he’ll be okay?" Tetsuro asks.
> 
> “He’s Bokuto Koutaro. Why wouldn’t he?” Tooru laughs.
> 
> “He’ll be fine.” Kenma walks alongside Koushi, who nods in agreement.
> 
> Keiji stares at the plane for a little bit longer, then walks behind the others in thought.
> 
> What were they all not telling him about Bokuto Koutaro?
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro is acting strange and Keiji has a feeling he isn't being told the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A QUICK TW BEFORE YOU READ: BRIEF MENTION OF SELF-HARM AND RAZORS.
> 
> ALSO! you'll notice that a bit of my writing style has changed. instead of using the characters last names, i am now using their first names. with the introductions of my OCs, i thought it would be confusing if the last names and first names were mixed up. 
> 
> so from now on, i will be using first names to write about the main characters of the story!!!

Monday morning. Already, Koutaro is in a bad mood. And when Koutaro is in a bad mood, he turns into the complete opposite of his usual bright personality. _Like his step-father._ Of course, Yoshimi would be proud that Koutaro’s mood was like this. Amazed even. But to Koutaro’s friends, it was worrisome. 

“Koutaro, how many suitcases do you wanna take?” Koushi asks. 

“Just two.” 

Koushi bites his lip and continues folding clothes into the luggage. 

Akemi and Koutaro had gone to try on the suits Yoshimi had sent over about two days ago, meaning the suit Koutaro had chosen was hung up in his closet, taunting him. Koutaro found it disgusting. It wasn’t like him at all. But of course, Yoshimi would want Koutaro to be unlike himself as much as possible. Again, disgusting. 

“Koutaro, time for a shave.” Tetsuro calls from Koutaro’s bathroom. 

Koutaro enters with an unreadable expression. 

Tetsuro gulps. “Don’t flinch away. If you need to move or get away, just hold up a hand.” 

Koutaro nods. 

Before, it was usually a hassle to get Koutaro to shave. He was absolutely terrified of razors due to his history of self-harm and wouldn’t allow anyone near him if they even held a razor in his bathroom. But over the course of years, he eventually got used to it. Even today, he still flinches a bit and has to move away to cool off. That way, he wouldn’t harm himself or anyone near him by mistake. 

“Okay. I’m done. You can move now.” 

“Is it all put away?” 

“Koushi put it in my room. There’s nothing else here.” 

Koutaro nods and leaves the bathroom to go into his room. He just had to put on his tuxedo, and then the dreaded moment of seeing his step-father would come. 

“Here Kou-chan. Put the dress shirt on first.” Tooru hands the article of clothing over to Koutaro. “And then put the pants on. Make sure to tuck in your shirt.” 

Koutaro does as told, then looks towards Tooru for the next step. 

“Let me do your tie.” Tooru does so. He helps Koutaro slip on his tuxedo vest on after, and then helps Koutaro cuff up the sleeves. 

“Can you wrap up my…” Koutaro trails off. 

Tooru nods and grabs the roll of bandages off Koutaro’s nightstand. He begins to wrap the cloth around Koutaro’s wrists to cover up any scars. Like Yoshimi had instructed. 

“Did you um…Did you wash the bracelets.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Koutaro, wait.” Tetsuro stops Koutaro. “I have to do your hair.”

Once Tetsuro is done, Koutaro looks into the mirror. He looked nothing like himself. It irked him. 

“My hair looks like Teru’s. Why are there pieces in the front?” 

“Ah, well, I know you don’t like sweeping it to the side. So I copied Teru’s.” 

“Oh…Thanks then.” 

Koutaro follows the three out and into the dining room for breakfast. They each robotically take their seats and begin to eat what Koushi had prepared. 

“What did Yoshimi say you would have to do once you landed?” Tooru tries to strike up conversation. 

“I have a meeting with the board who oversees Tamura Industries. Then it’s drinks with Yoshimi and his new girlfriend, before I’m free to return to my hotel. Which is owned by him.” 

Ah. It was already getting to him. Usually when Koutaro was set to visit Yoshimi, his speech was also affected. Like his personality change, his way of speaking was also set to be formal and business-wise. It was absolutely terrifying to watch his mood switch like that. 

Koutaro’s phone rings. He looks at it and sighs. “Excuse me,” he gets up from his seat and buttons his blazer. “This is one of the board members. I’ll be right back.” And off he goes down the hall and back into his room, leaving his plate of untouched food. 

“I can’t believe this is happening…” Tooru mutters. 

“He’s already talking like Akemi. I’ll have nightmares for days.” Tetsuro pokes at his eggs. 

Koushi rolls his eyes. “It’s important that Koutaro knows we’re here for him. When he comes back, we’ll just refresh his brain from whatever his father told him.” 

“His _step-father_ , Koushi. You know Koutaro hates calling anyone his father. Except Hisato, of course.” Kenma greets them all, along with Keiji, who holds up a bag of pastries from the cafe. 

“Where’s Bokuto-san?” 

“He’s on the phone with someone from Yoshimi’s—his step-father’s—company.” Tetsuro explains. 

“Is he already…?” Kenma trails off. 

Tooru groans. “He’s even talking like Akemi! Akemi of all people!” 

“Did he ask for bandages?” 

“Yep. He even cleaned his bracelets.” Koushi sighs. 

Kenma and Keiji each take a seat at the table and begin eating their own food reluctantly. The air around them all was tense. No one knew what to expect when Koutaro would finish his call. 

“How is his tuxedo?” Kenma asks. 

“I’m sure it costs more than my apartment rent.” Koushi answers. 

Nothing else. Not even Tetsuro could find it in himself to start a conversation. 

“Stupid old people. I have to host a fucking gala now for more investors and shit.” Koutaro curses and takes his seat at the table. “Hey Ken. And Akaashi.” 

“Hey.” 

“Good morning, Bokuto-san.” 

Koutaro covers his face with his hands groans. Loudly. 

The rest all shoot glances at Keiji, silently begging him to help Koutaro. 

“Um, Bokuto-san, can we go to your room? To…talk?” 

Koutaro looks up at him and nods. The two leave and holy shit is the tension real. They go into the bedroom and as Keiji takes a seat on Koutaro’s desk chair, Koutaro makes sure the door is closed before leaning against his desk. 

“What’s up Akaashi? What’d you need to talk about?” 

Keiji struggles for an answer. He himself didn’t even know what he was supposed to say. He thought that maybe Tooru, or even Kenma would help Koutaro. 

“Are you…okay?” 

Koutaro looks at him carefully. No one had ever asked him that when he was about to visit Yoshimi. Maybe it was some sort of trick? He leans down and looks at Keiji closer, causing the younger one to blush beautiful shades of red. 

“Did Ken put you up to this, ‘Kaashi?” 

Keiji frowns. He turns away to avoid those piercing golden eyes he had grown to admire. “Of course not. I asked to talk to you so I could check up on how you were feeling.” 

Oh. Koutaro’s eyes slightly widen. He stares at Keiji for a bit longer. This was a habit Koutaro had grown accustomed to. Staring and looking for any body movements or hidden gestures that could show any negative emotions. Koutaro looks at Keiji’s hands. Keiji fidgets a lot. He’s doing it right now. And he cracks his knuckles too much. Again, like he’s doing right now.

Koutaro steps back and crosses his arms. “Why’re you so nervous?” 

Keiji looks back at Koutaro and furrows his eyebrows. “I-I’m not nervous.”

Koutaro raises a brow. 

Keiji sighs and curls his hands into a small snowball shape. “I-I guess I’m just worried about you. You had told me on our walk from Friday that you hated your step-father. And next thing I know, you’re going to visit him? If you hate him, why are you going?” 

Koutaro bites his lip. “I wasn’t gonna go. No matter what they said, I didn’t want to go visit Yoshimi. But then Tetsuro told me and Tooru what had actually happened the night…you know…”

Keiji nods. 

“So I made a call to Yoshimi. The deal was I would have to go to Hyogo. And…and think about taking his company.”

“But you don’t want to.” 

“Of course I don’t! Volleyball has always been my dream! But with what Yoshimi can hold against me…I just don’t know what to do now…”

Koutaro takes a seat onto the edge of his bed and falls backwards. There’s weight next to him that has him turning to face Keiji, who’s eyes widen at the close proximity of their faces. 

They stay like that. Staring at one another and waiting for someone to either back down or make a move. But no one does. 

Koutaro likes the way Keiji stares at him. His blue-green eyes never leave his yellow ones. It’s always uncomfortable when people stare at Koutaro, but with Keiji…It’s different. Koutaro’s eyes follow the curls framing Keiji’s face. They’re beautiful. Very, very beautiful. 

As Koutaro continues staring, Keiji also finds himself in a daze. Koutaro’s stupid eyebrows. Huh. Keiji wouldn’t really call them stupid if he were being honest. They were unique. Like his eyelashes. If Koutaro were to grow a mustache, Keiji wonders if it were to also be made up of white hairs. It’s a funny thought, but Keiji can’t laugh. Koutaro has him enamored. 

Koutaro’s golden orbs trail down to Keiji’s lips. They’re heart shaped. Just like...like…

Kotaro abruptly gets up and almost slips on strewn blankets before finding his balance and facing away from Keiji. “We should head back. Thank for checking up on me Akaashi. I feel a lot more better now!” 

Keiji hesitantly gets off the bed and fixes the sheets. “Sure, Bokuto-san. I’m glad.” 

Koutaro nods and exits the room in a hurry, leaving behind a sighing Keiji. 

———————————————

“I don’t think we can all fit in here.” Kenma grumbles. 

“At least you don’t have like half of Kou-chan’s ass on your lap.” 

“I CAN’T FIT!” 

“Bokuto-san, you’re yelling in my ear.” 

“Kou, bro! Scoot your fat ass over!” 

“Koutaro, consider yourself lucky to have an ass. Us old setters are practically the flattest.” 

“AGHAASHEEE! YOU WERE A SETTER!?”

“Are you implying that I'm flat?" 

"NO!"

"Yes, I was a setter. Please stop yelling in my ear.” 

“You should toss to me!” 

“When you come back, Bokuto-san.” 

“We’re here.” Hiroshi announces as he opens the door for them. “And why are you all on the same side of the car?” 

“We were taking turns cuddling Koutaro, but then we lost track of whose turn it was.” 

“Just get out of the car already.” Hiroshi rolls his eyes. 

The boys all pile out of the limousine and follow Koutaro through some doors and exits before making it outside to where all the planes were kept. 

“I’ve never been here before…” Keiji mumbles. 

“You’ll get used to it.” Koushi smiles. 

“Tamura Industries? Bokuto-san’s step father is Tamura Yoshimi-san?” 

“Mhm.” Kenma nods. 

“Well. I guess this is where I die. Heh.” Koutaro chuckles. 

“You’ll be fine bro. This one’s shorter than all your other trips.” Tetsuro hugs Koutaro goodbye.

Tooru is next in line for a hug. “At least promise that you’ll tell us if you need to spend more days there. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Greece.”

Koutaro pales at the mention of the old trip. “Yeah…You’re right. I’ll miss you Toory!” 

Koushi and Kenma are next to say goodbye before Keiji is stepping up to hug Koutaro. 

“Promise to call?” Keiji asks as they let go. 

“Promise!” 

“The pilot is ready, sir. Your father would like us to be on time.” A flight attendant informs Koutaro. 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

Koutaro looks at Keiji once more. “I’ll be back soon.” 

“I’ll be waiting.” 

Koutaro nods. He smiles at the others once more before running up the air-stair and disappearing into the plane. 

“You think he’ll be okay?" Tetsuro asks. 

“He’s Bokuto Koutaro. Why wouldn’t he?” Tooru laughs. 

“He’ll be fine.” Kenma walks alongside Koushi, who nods in agreement. 

Keiji stares at the plane for a little bit longer, then walks behind the others in thought. 

What were they all not telling him about Bokuto Koutaro? 

———————————————

Koutaro gulps and walks up the steps to his step-father’s big ass mansion. He holds his luggage close to his legs and keeps a firm grip on them. He carries them up and knocks on the door. 

“Yoshimi! It’s me!” Koutaro calls. Yep. The guys were right. His words were going to get all fancy from here. 

The doors open, and out comes his step-father in a polished suit and swept back hair. Of course, all the plastic surgeries he had kept him looking 25 instead of the age he actually was, which was 40. And were those hair extensions?

“Koutaro,” Yoshimi greets. “How was your flight?” 

“It went well.” 

“Hm. Take his bags.” Yoshimi orders the maids behind him. 

Of course Yoshimi still had them. Koutaro fights the urge to roll his eyes. 

When one of the women try taking his bags, Koutaro smiles. “It’s fine. I can take them up myself.” 

“The question isn’t if you can do it Koutaro, it’s if you should have to.” Yoshimi crosses his arms. 

Koutaro puts his bags back down and hesitantly nods. “Right…” The women take his bags and leave back into the house. 

A male, not much older than Koutaro, widens his eyes. “Koutaro!?” he shouts.

Koutaro turns at the sound of his name. “Oh my god—Eiichi!?”

Tamura Eiichi. Son of Tamura Yoshimi and step-brother of Koutaro. Also one of Koutaro’s biggest friends and supporters. 

“It’s been so long Koutaro! Last we saw each other was in Greece!” 

Yoshimi flinches. 

Koutaro laughs and runs to hug his step-sibling. “Dude!” 

“Eiichi, get inside and have the chef prepare food.” 

“Yes, father. We’ll talk later, alright?” Eiichi winks and heads inside. 

Yoshimi steps aside and motions for Koutaro to walk in. 

“Welcome back, Koutaro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have finally gotten around to introducing Yoshimi and Eiichi!!! there is also a hint of another OC in bokuaka's small moment, as well as some foreshadowing!!! 
> 
> i also think it's around the time i should give a visual for bokuto's [ bracelets](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61AHUWGVQHL._AC_SL1500_.jpg). these are also the ones i wear as well. 
> 
> Next Time: If You’re Weak, _You’re Weak_


	14. If You're Weak, You're Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koutaro does a double-take. “EXCUSE ME!? WHERE’S MY WINGMAN!? SEAL THE DEAL, TAP THAT ASS!? MONEY MARRIES BIGGER MONEY!?” 
> 
> “I CARE ABOUT THREE THINGS KOUTARO: MONEY, THE PLEASURES MONEY BRINGS ME, AND YOU! WIN HIM OVER!” 
> 
> “I CAN’T EVEN ORDER A CAKE OVER THE PHONE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WIN HIM OVER!?”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro loves his older brother and hates his step-father.

“HE HASN’T KISSED ME SINCE DINNER LAST NIGHT! AND WHEN I DROPPED HIM OFF AT THE DORMS, HE GAVE ME THE CHEEK!” Tetsuro complains. “I THOUGHT WE WERE FINE!” 

“You’re so loud…Shut up for like a minute.” Tooru groans into his blankets. 

It was Wednesday, and Tooru had been woken up by a whining Tetsuro at 7 in the morning. To say he was angry was an understatement. Tooru swore he would stab Tetsuro if the man kept yelling into his ear like this. 

“Ugh! This is why I need Kou here! He doesn’t think I’m too loud!” 

“That’s because Kou-chan is used to loudness. I—however—am not. So shut up.” 

Tetsuro crosses his arms and frowns. He takes a seat on Tooru’s bed and continues to drone on and on about he and Kenma’s problems. He was still talking, even as Tooru drifted in and out of his sleep. 

“—and when I tried opening the door for him, he said _‘It’s okay, I got it’_. What the fuck!? I _ALWAYS_ opened doors for him! And now he doesn’t want me! What if he decided he’s better off without me—!” 

“YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT TETSU-CHAN!” Tooru screams as he sits up in bed, scaring the man next to him. “YOU GUYS HAVEN’T TALKED YET! WHY ELSE WOULD HE BE IGNORING YOU!?” 

Tetsuro opens his mouth to give a reply, but then closes it. He had nothing to say. 

Tooru grabs his pillow and hits Tetsuro in the face with it. “Sometimes I wonder how Ken-chan put up with you.”

“You’re…You’re right.” 

“I am. Now let’s go get breakfast. I thank whatever higher power there is that we have no classes for the week.” 

Tetsuro blankly stares at Tooru's back as he follows the man into the kitchen, then back to the living room. 

“Tooru…you can’t make fun of what I’m about to ask you. This is very important.” 

“Hm. Okay.” 

“…I need help with me and Ken’s relationship.” 

Tooru isn’t even phased. “With what part exactly?” He takes a seat on the couch with a bowl of berries and raises a brow. 

Tetsuro sighs and moves to sit next to him. “The whole thing…We haven’t gone back to normal, and it’s making everything awkward and weird!” 

Tooru picks a fruit and stuffs into his mouth. He hums at the taste and grabs another to offer it to Tetsuro. 

“Did you not hear what I just said?” Tetsuro takes it and munches on it. “Oh wow, these are really good.”

“I know right. Kou-chan and I got them at the market.”

“How much?”

“400 yen.”

“Not bad. You think we can go get more later?” 

“We have to wait until Kou-chan gets back. He said he wanted to go get more too.” 

“WE’RE GETTING OFF TOPIC HERE! HELP ME!”

“Tetsu-chan, the solution is _so_ very obvious." Tooru rolls his eyes. "Just talk to him you moron.”

“Like I said before Tooru. This has nothing to do with last week. There has to be another reason for this.”

“So everything’s been forgiven?” 

“…I’m working on it.” 

“What do you have to work on? He’s the one who needs to forgive you.” 

“…Yeah…Yeah that’s what I’m working on,” Tetsuro grabs another berry. “Why can’t you be happy for me and Ken?”

“I am happy.” 

Tetsuro gives Tooru a pointed stare. 

Tooru’s shoulder slump. “You guys haven’t talked yet. About all the very real reasons you two broke up.”

“I told you I’m working on it!” 

“Then when you guys finally fix it all, I’ll be really happy,” Tooru gets up to go to his room. “Until then, I just think you’re fooling yourselves.” 

Once again, Tetsuro has nothing to say and instead watches Tooru’s door close shut. 

———————————————

“So are we gonna talk about it?” Keiji asks. 

Kenma takes a sip of his tea and scrolls through Koutaro’s posts as a distraction. “Talk about what exactly?” 

“You know what I’m talking about.” 

“No idea…” Kenma murmurs. He comes across an old photo of Tooru being chased by Koutaro and Tetsuro, who each held sticks in their hands. He laughs out loud and shows the photo to Keiji, who snorts at it. 

Keiji clears his throat and stirs his cup of coffee. “Bokuto-san has been…awfully…clingy, lately.” 

Kenma turns his phone off and sets it aside, giving Keiji his full attention. “Do tell.” 

“Well…he’s been sending me many, many random texts about anything. And the calls…there’s lots of calls…and video chatting…” 

Kenma fights back a laugh. “That’s just Koutaro being Koutaro. But you should appreciate it. Soon, he’ll get drowned with meetings.” 

“Does he even know what he’s supposed to talk about in those?”

“He may get nervous by the smallest things, but Koutaro practically grew up in suits and business classes. Despite what you may think, he’s a natural at charming people needed for the company.”

Keiji raises his eyebrows. “Oh wow…I didn’t realize.” 

“A lot of people think Koutaro is stupid. He kinda is, don’t get me wrong,” Kenma softly smiles. “But he’s quite capable.”

“I’m beginning to see that. You said he grew up with business classes? How’d that go?”

“It was like he never knew about us _‘commoners'_.” Kenma chuckles. “It’s really funny to be honest. He had been wearing suits and dress shirts up until our first year of college. The first time I got him to wear flip flops, I’d always catch him looking down at his feet.”

Keiji laughs along as well. “That would certainly be interesting to see.” 

“It’s rare though. Koutaro can almost never relax. Always on the edge of his seat…always keeping an eye out for anything…he has good senses too.”

“You act as if he’s some kind of animal.” 

“An owl.” 

The two laugh some more.

“It’s true though…no one can ever get him to feel calm enough. If I’m being really honest—“ Kenma inhales. “—I don’t think he really trusts anyone fully.” 

“Not even Kuroo-san? Or Oikawa-san?” 

“No one.” 

Keiji purses his lips. “Why?” 

“Who knows. Once he swore he heard someone try to break into our back door. We tried convincing him all night that it was probably a cat or someone’s lost dog, but he kept insisting he heard footsteps.” 

“What happened after?”

“Well, Tooru ended up calming him down for at least a few minutes. When Tetsuro and I looked over the security footage, you’d never guess what we saw.”

“What?”

“Someone did try to break in. We called the police and ended up upgrading our security system to help Koutaro. What freaked us all out the most was the fact that Koutaro was able to hear the doorknob being rattled over all the music. We had thrown an end of the year party for the third-years.”

“He—He was able to hear something so low…over that!?”

“I know…” Kenma exhales out. “It’s amazing…but it worries me.” 

“Why would it? It’s an amazing talent he has.”

“You and Koutaro are pretty close now…He told you about his anxiety, right?” 

Keiji nods. 

“His therapist actually explained to us that he did this because of how anxious he gets. It’s his way of coping, I guess.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“For example: Unlike me, Koutaro’s field of vision needs to be wide enough so he’s able to see everyone. If it’s too small, he gets extremely panicked. I think he’s had an anxiety attack from not being able to sit in the back corner of his favorite restaurant. He hates when he can’t see who’s behind him.” 

“Oh…” Keiji says in understanding. “I see…”

Kenma falls backwards onto his pillow and lets out a deep sigh. That was enough talking for today. 

“Tell me a story about him.”

Never mind about that.

“You ask too much of me Akaashi.” 

“Please?”

Kenma rolls his eyes. “Ugh. Fine.” 

———————————————

_“What do you mean you’re not moving in with us!? That can’t be!” Tooru gasps._

_“My friend is also starting their first year. I’m requesting a room with him.”_

_“Hey! You better not cheat on me Ken!” Tetsuro points an accusing finger._

_“Kenma, are you sure? We have two extra bedrooms!” Koutaro juts his bottom lip out._

_“Would you rather he move in with us?”_

_Koutaro shakes his head, pulling a chuckle out of Kenma._

_“How will you ever visit us, Ken-chan!? We’re a fifteen minute drive away! And you don’t even own a car!”_

_“Tooru, you’re gonna have to use your own legs to come visit me at the dorms.” Kenma rolls his eyes._

_Tooru grimaces. “That’s why we have Kou-chan’s driver! I don’t understand how I was living without Hiroshi-san before!”_

_“I told you he’s using me for my money.” Koutaro clicks his tongue._

_“How rude Toory.” Tetsuro crosses his arms._

_“Traffic could delay. Why can’t you just walk?”_

_“I refuse to walk on the same sidewalk as commoners.”_

_“I’m richer than all of you combined.” Koutaro smirks. “You’re all the commoners here.”_

_“Stop making me feel poor Kou-chan~”_

_“This is making me want to spend loads of money,” Kenma picks at his cuticles. “Can’t believe I’m suggesting this…but let’s go shopping. It’ll be like one of our last days together.”_

_“YES!” Tooru cheers. “I’M ALWAYS UP FOR IT!”_

_“But how much money should we spend? We’re not exactly the richest people.” Tetsuro raises his eyebrows._

_“Everything in our shared bank account.”_

_“How much is that?”_

_“Like 52,000 yen.”_

_“Is that a lot of money?” Koutaro asks._

_“For regular commoners like us, yes, it’s a lot of money. But for you, it’s not enough.”_

_Koutaro hums. “I can donate 30,000 yen to you commoners. Consider it a grand gesture from your king,” he raises his head higher._

_Tetsuro bows down almost immediately. “THANK YOU KOUTARO! YOUR KINDNESS WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.”_

_Tooru joins him and the two raise their arms up and down, pretending to worship Koutaro, who was smiling widely at the attention._

_Kenma stares at them all with a fond smile. He really was going to miss them all. Suddenly, he’s lifted off his feet and into the air by Koutaro._

_“KoutAROO! PUT ME DOWN!”_

_“WE’RE GOING TO MISS YOU KEN!”_

_“We’ll be going to the same college. You’re all being overdramatic.”_

_He’s finally put down and forced into a hug by the three taller men._

_“We love you Ken…” Koutaro mumbles into his hair._

_“He’s still my boyfriend.” Tetsuro murmurs as he peppers kisses all over the blonde’s face._

_“Shut up Tetsu-chan. You don’t get an opinion.” Tooru hisses from Kenma’s stomach._

_Kenma does his best to fight off a smile._

_How lucky he is to have ended up with the three best friends in the world. And finally, he does smile. And he laughs until his stomach hurts, relishing in the small moment. Was he being overdramatic? Probably. But does he care? No, not ever. These were his best friends, and as stupid as they were, he loves them more than anything._

———————————————

Keiji smiles as Kenma finished recounting the story. “You really are lucky.” 

“You are too Akaashi. You have us now.” 

“I am, aren’t I?” Keiji reaches over to his night stand and grabs a pack of fruit snacks. “Did you know…I already knew Bokuto-san?”

Kenma sits up in bed in an instant. “What? How?”

“One of his volleyball games.”

“Holy shit, that long ago? Why didn’t you say so earlier? Like _'when we all met'_ earlier?” 

“Because…”

“Because what? Which game was it anyways?” 

Keiji stuffs all the fruit gummies into his mouth and smiles. 

“It’s a secret.” 

———————————————

“You need to meet with designers who have some samples for the label. They have some suggestions, as I said before, but you have to pick one.” Yoshimi hands some papers over to Koutaro, whose eyes widen at the stack. “Once your done with that meeting, you have another with party planners for your leave.”

“Okay…I can handle that…” Koutaro whispers to himself. “That’s all for this week?”

Yoshimi furrows his eyebrows. “Of course not. That’s just for today. Be ready for the meeting. It starts in two hours.” He gets up, buttons his blazer, then heads out. 

Eiichi walks in after bidding his father farewell and takes a seat next to Koutaro. “Rough day?” he asks. 

Koutaro’s head slams onto the table as he nods. “I’m so tired…” 

“Get up Koutaro! Let’s take a break and talk about your love life! Any girls I should know about?”

Koutaro’s head slightly turns to face Eiichi. “No…but there is this guy—“

“YOU'RE GAY!?’” Eiichi yells. 

Koutaro gets up and covers Eiichi’s mouth, hissing a loud “SSSHHHH!” as he looks around for anyone who might be listening. Once he was sure Eiichi would stay silent, he slowly sits back down in his chair. 

“I guess I’m gay?” Koutaro says. “Pansexual is more accurate. There’s this guy who’s super cool and Tetsuro helped me realize that I like _like_ him! He’s really nice too!” 

“Dude, it’s cool man! Boy, girl, non-binary—you like who you like!”

“Exactly my thoughts!”

“Tell me more about this Akaashi guy!”

“Well…Yoshimi thinks it’s a waste of time. He overheard me talking on the phone with Akaashi.” 

“ _What!?_ ” Eiichi screeches. “NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! YOU AND AKAASHI SHOULD GET MARRIED!”

Koutaro does a double-take. “EXCUSE ME!? WHERE’S MY MAN!? SEAL THE DEAL, TAP THAT ASS!? MONEY MARRIES BIGGER MONEY!?” 

“I CARE ABOUT THREE THINGS KOUTARO: MONEY, THE PLEASURES MONEY BRINGS ME, AND YOU! WIN HIM OVER!” 

“I CAN’T EVEN ORDER A CAKE OVER THE PHONE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WIN HIM OVER!?” 

Eiichi suddenly sits up in fear. “YOU HAVE TO DO THE PAPERWORK STILL!” 

“WHAT PAPERWORK!?”

“THE ONE FOR TODAY’S GALA!”

“OH MY GOD—THAT WAS TODAY!?”

“KOUTARO!” Eiichi groans. 

The step-siblings spend about an hour going over proposals and talking on the phone with caterers for the party. 

“This is so difficult...” Koutaro whines and collapses onto the table. 

“Wake up! We just need a few more stuff to go over!” Eiichi cheers.

“OH DUDE! WE SHOULD CALL TETSURO!”

Eiichi’s mood suddenly falls. “Do we have to…?”

“Oh come on! Nothing bad!” 

Soon enough, the two siblings were staring at a laptop with Tetsuro’s face staring back at them.

“Um…” Koutaro lets out a nervous laugh. “Hey hey Tetsuro! How are things over there?”

 **_“Tamura.”_** Tetsuro ignores Koutaro’s question. 

Eiichi’s eyes narrow. “Kuroo.”

You see, Eiichi and Tetsuro never really liked each other. Similar to Tooru and Keiji’s “competition”, Eiichi and Tetsuro viewed each other as rivals to be closer to Koutaro. 

“Ah…Tetsu…Wanna come with us to the gala for today? We can sneak our camera in!” Koutaro offers.

“It was supposed to be just us brothers.” Eiichi grumbles. 

Tetsuro smirks, just to spite Eiichi. **_“I would LOVE to Koutaro! Let me get Tooru, and we’ll call you back when you’re there.”_**

“Yay! See you Tetsu!” Koutaro ends the call and pokes at Eiichi’s knee. “Come on Eiichi! Play nice!” 

Eiichi turns away and crosses his arms. “Fine…” 

About four hours later, Eiichi and Koutaro had finished showing Tetsuro around with their camera, hung up, and were now walking around the party to greet guests and influential members of society for the company. 

“Tamura Industries is designing a new sports line?” someone asks Koutaro. 

He shyly nods and fidgets with his bracelets from behind his back. “Yes, we are. These are fit for any athlete, no matter their shape or size.” 

“Are you sure they're made for any athlete? I don't suppose you know it's difficulty in making sure _every_ person is satisfied with the product.” 

Ah, they're underestimating him again. Come on...Koutaro's been to so many of these already. When would they finally begin to respect him?

“As the face of the line, the designer, and an athlete myself, I tested these products out.” Koutaro raises his head a bit higher. "I can assure you that _any_ person would be comfortable with these clothes. I always make sure to have the best for our customers." 

The reporter smiles. “Wonderful answer. We’re looking forward to seeing them in the stores.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Good work,” Yoshimi puts a hand on Koutaro’s shoulder. “I’ve taught you well.” 

Koutaro nods, his smile gone from his face as soon as he heard the voice of his step-father. 

“Please excuse us,” Yoshimi fakes a smile for the new wave of people coming through to ask questions. He leads himself and Koutaro into an empty room and pours them each a glass of scotch. 

“What’re you doing?” Koutaro takes a seat on one of the chairs. “We have guests.” 

“I overheard your conversation with Eiichi today.” 

Koutaro pales. He gulps loudly, his glass shakes in his hand, and his heart pounds in his chest. 

“He’s a _distraction_ ,” Yoshimi says through grit teeth. “You’ll get attached and I will be forced to take drastic measures. Like I did with Nakaya—“

“Don’t you dare say his name.” Koutaro hisses, venom seeping through each word. 

Yoshimi clenches his jaw. “…You truly think you like this Akaashi boy now…”

Koutaro doesn’t respond. 

“It’s why you haven’t taken my offer to the company. You don’t want to be one person here and another with Akaashi,” Yoshimi snickers, “You’re a disappointment. You realized you have feelings for him and it made you weaker. If you’re weak, you’re weak. And well, let’s face it— _you’re weak_.”

Koutaro looks up and glares at Yoshimi. Still, he says nothing. 

Yoshimi puts a hand over his heart and mimics Keiji’s voice. _"Anything for you, Bokuto-san."_

Koutaro trembles with anger. He slams his cup of scotch onto the table and takes his leave. 

The doors slam shut, and with that, his relationship with his step-father dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okok, i absolutely LOVE eiichi lolol. we love him being supportive older brother. anyways, this story is finally moving along. the next chapter does take a bit of a turn and we see one of bokuto's emo-modes in its worst state. 
> 
> as always, if there's anything confusing, please don't hesitate to let me know!!
> 
> Next Time: The Start of a Living Hell


	15. The Start of a Living Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe it. Do you think he’d really do that?” Tooru asks Tetsuro as they join the other two. 
> 
> “He punched out a guard once. Of course he broke the fucking window.” 
> 
> “Bokuto-san broke a window?”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Tetsuro finally begins to communicate his feelings, Koutaro isn't acting like himself, and Keiji is shocked.

Tetsuro takes a deep breath. He lifts his hand up, but it falls back to his side in defeat. Why is he so nervous? This is so embarrassing. A couple of students had already passed him and given him weird looks. He raises his hand again and hesitantly knocks. 

The door opens, revealing a surprised Kenma. “What are you doing here? Were we supposed to meet up?”

Tetsuro gives an awkward smile. “I-I came to talk!” 

Kenma raises a brow. He opens the door wider and lets Tetsuro in. Soon, the two are seated on the bean bags in silence. 

“Ken…babe…” Tetsuro starts. “We need to talk.” 

Kenma motions for him to go on. 

“Things between us have been…weird, lately. And I don’t like it!” Tetsuro crosses his arms and pouts. “Now, I want you to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me so I can fix it!” 

Kenma chuckles a bit. He sinks deeper into his bean bag and laughs some more, earning a frightened look from the male next to him. 

“W-Why are you laughing!?” Tetsuro frowns. “You’re acting weird again! Stop it and get serious!” 

Kenma quiets down after a while and looks back up at Tetsuro. “I’m sorry. It’s just…It’s hard to see you acting so…mature…” 

Tetsuro reaches over to hold Kenma’s hand in his. “I hate that I need to keep walking on eggshells around you. I love you and if we’re ever going to have a real chance, I want to make things work.”

Kenma nods. He looks down at his lap and slowly removes his hand from Tetsuro’s hold. “The cheating.” 

“The cheating…” Tetsuro exhales out. 

“I don’t understand that part.” Kenma’s voice is so small and so meek, Tetsuro could barely hear it above the video game audio playing in the background. 

“I didn’t cheat.”

“Did you kiss her?”

“She kissed me. I-I don’t remember much. She kissed me once, she wanted to take it into the room, she kept kissing me, but I kept my hands to myself. My hands and my lips.” 

Kenma nods again in understanding. “And that’s when you left.” 

“That’s when I left.” 

The blonde bites his lip. “But why did you lie?”

“I…I didn’t want you to know about…”

“Saito-san. We talked about him.” 

“It was the thought that you would see me differently that made me lie. I didn’t know how you would react to finding out. And I didn’t want to risk losing you.” 

“Okay…Then what about Saito-san? Did you two do anything else that I should know about?” 

“No. What I told you before was true. He wanted to uh...to...you know, but I didn’t. So that’s when I told him.” Tetsuro sighs and falls onto his back. He stares at the ceiling and closes his eyes. “…Do you hate me?” 

“Tetsuro…” Kenma starts. “…I have to admit: I think…I still need time to process this. It’s a lot…Someone dying and then the whole cheating lie thing. I-It’s a lot!” 

“I know, Ken, I-I know.” Tetsuro sits up and leans forward to kneel down before Kenma, then rests his arms on the male's thighs. “And I want to be by your side the whole time. I want to make things work. I love you.” 

Kenma holds Tetsuro’s chin in his hand and gives a gentle smile. “I love you too. But if we’re going back to the way things were, then I just need time to move past this.” 

Tetsuro leans into his touch. “Ken…I’ll wait however long.” 

“Thank you.” 

Tetsuro smiles. He leans in and easily presses their lips together, a sign that things were finally going to be better for them both. Tetsuro can feel the way Kenma smiles through the contact and kisses back. 

Usually, make-outs between them resulted in Kenma’s headboard banging against the wall of the dorm or Keiji blasting a stupid cooking video to stop them. 

But this kiss is unlike the other times. Tetsuo isn’t horny—or at least, not that horny anyways. It’s a weird feeling, really. Having to tell someone how you truly feel and wondering if they’ll use it against you or be willing to fix it all. Tetsuro isn’t used to it. Talking about their problems. It truly is a strange feeling. It’s not a necessarily bad one, if he’s being honest. It’s like you’re naked in a room full of people. 

Tetsuro can’t describe it. He doesn’t know how to. Maybe he never did fully trust in their relationship. And maybe that’s why he never said anything about his own feelings. What felt like a year of little to no speaking—that was really just about a month—was worth it. 

Ah, it was vulnerability. That was the feeling. Tetsuro used to hate it. But with the help of Kenma and his friends, he was able to accept it. 

Just like Tooru, he would be okay too. The both of them together. 

**_“NEXT, YOU’LL WANT TO TAKE TWO CUPS OF FLOUR AND USE IT TO KEEP THE DOUGH MOLDABLE!”_**

The two boyfriends both abruptly stop their kiss and wipe away the saliva from their mouth. 

“Sounds like Akaashi’s learning to bake cookies.” Kenma snorts. 

“Let’s go help him!” Tetsuro suggests. 

“And maybe we can see if Koutaro could call meanwhile.” 

Tetsuro’s phone rings, putting a hold on their conversation. He pulls it out of his pocket and checks the caller I.D.

“Who is it?” Kenma asks. 

“Speak of the devil,” Tetsuro smiles and shakes his head. “It’s Koutaro,” he answers it and holds it to his ear. “Koutaro! Bro! I was just about to—“ Tetsuro’s eyes widen and his mouth closes shut. 

Kenma worryingly looks over to his boyfriend. 

“Yeah dude, it’s cool. Just tell us when.” Tetsuro gnaws at his lip as he says his goodbyes and hangs up. 

“What’s wrong?” Kenma raises a brow. 

Keiji comes in whilst drying his hands. “I’m heading to the cafe. Kenma, take the cookies out when they’re ready please,” he hastily says, then takes his keys and leaves in a hurry. 

Kenma turns back to Tetsuro and waits for him to answer.

Tetsuro gets up quickly. “Yoshimi got to Koutaro…”

———————————————

How boring everything is without Koutaro. They could've tried skateboarding again or take rides in the limo while yelling at strangers on the sidewalk even! But no! Koutaro isn’t here, which means nothing to do at all. 

Tooru’s shoulders slumps some more as he continues walking to whatever place he found somewhat interesting. (There really wasn’t anything interesting.) And so he just pulls his hood over his head and pretends that he’s walking with Koutaro—or Tetsuro even!—as they swing their hands hands back and forth. 

It’s not working. 

Tooru pulls his hood off and pouts. Oh wow. Look where he was. In front of the cafe. 

Well. He was bored anyway. Tooru pushes his way through the doors and heads up to the counter for his order. He does so and heads into his and Koutaro’s usual seat, waiting for his food and drink. 

“Oikawa-san?” 

Tooru looks up and—wow. Just great. “Why’re you working? We’re on a break you know.” He turns away quickly. 

“Ah, well…I had a lot on my mind, so I thought I could earn some money meanwhile.” Keiji nervously smiles and sets Tooru’s hot chocolate down, along with his milk bread. 

Tooru cups his hands around the mug and shifts around in his seat uncomfortably. “Do you wanna talk about it? I’m sure you could spare a few minutes.” 

Keiji looks around, a nervous tic of his. He sighs and takes a seat across from Tooru, who offers a piece of his milk bread to the younger boy. Keiji thanks him and the two sit in silence. 

“I’m here to try and be nice, Aka-chan. What’s been bugging you?” 

“It’s um…It’s about..” 

“It’s alright. I mean—I can hear his name, you know.” 

Keiji quietly laughs. “I…I suppose I’m worried about Bokuto-san. He hasn’t returned any of my calls of answered my messages since Wednesday night.”

Tooru takes a sip of his drink and nods in understanding. “Don’t worry too much. You’ll get wrinkles,” he sneaks in a playful wink and takes a deep breath, “But on a serious note, Kou-chan usually gets like that on the ending days for his trip.”

“Ah…I see…That makes sense then.” Keiji cracks his knuckles and stares down at his lap. “Thank you for the advice.” 

Tooru puts a finger up and reaches for his phone, which was vibrating in his pocket. “It’s Tetsu-chan. Give me a second Aka-chan.” Tooru answers it. “Hello?”

Keiji watches as Tooru nods, widens his eyes, then picks at his lips. Tooru hangs up. 

“Aka-chan, you’ll have to tell your manager that you have an emergency.”

“Why?”

“Kou-chan is coming back two days early. We’re meeting Tetsu-chan and Ken-chan at the flat.” 

———————————————

“What do you mean Yoshimi got to him!? Tetsu-chan, what exactly did Kou-chan say!?” Tooru yells at Tetsuro in the kitchen. 

“Keep your voice down Toory!”

“IT”S _TOORU_! GET IT RIGHT!” 

“Here you go Akaashi. Sorry we had to call you in so fast.” Kenma hands a cup of tea to his friend. 

Keiji waves him off. “It’s not a problem. Is everything alright with Bokuto-san? It sounds like something pretty serious.” 

Kenma plops onto the carpet and begins gaming away at his phone. “It’s nothing Akaashi. You don’t need to worry about it too much.” 

Keiji opens his mouth, but ultimately closes it. No one would tell him a thing anyways. 

“I can’t believe it. Do you think he’d really do that?” Tooru asks Tetsuro as they join the other two. 

“He punched out a guard once. Of course he broke the fucking window.” 

“Bokuto-san broke a window?” 

Tooru and Tetsuro clam up immediately. “No!” they shout. They look at each other and frown before taking a seat on the couch. 

“What’s going on?” Keiji asks no one in particular. 

“Just some old stuff for Kou…” Tetsuro grins. “Nothing too important.” 

Keiji was just about to tell them off until yelling and the sounds of cameras flashing go off outside the flat. Frightened, Keiji gets up to check. 

Kenma’s hand pulls him back down, but he doesn’t bother explaining anything. 

“Koutaro’s home~” Tetsuro whistles. 

“Kou-chan’s going to be eaten alive.” Tooru laughs. 

Kenma snickers. “How much do you wanna bet that he already has a kiss mark on him.” 

Keiji stares at the three in bewilderment. “Is this a regular occurrence?”

“Only when Kou-chan comes back from his trips. You should’ve seen them after he came back from Greece.” Tooru exhales out. 

“But doesn’t he get overwhelmed with lots of people around him?” 

“He’s used to paparazzi chasing after him.” 

“I’m home.” Koutaro calls and drops his bags off at the door. 

“KOU-CHAN!!” Tooru cries and throws himself onto said man.

Keiji makes eye contact with Koutaro, who immediately looks away. 

“Akaashi’s...here too...” Koutaro rubs his temples.

“Welcome back Bokuto-san.” Keiji does his best to ignore the sting in his heart. 

“Yeah...thanks...” Koutaro grabs a random bottle of alcohol off the bar corner and scampers down the hall, into his room. 

“I’ll get the ice cream.” Tetsuro sighs. 

Kenma was already looking through the channels on the TV for a movie to watch as Tooru grabbed blankets from his room. 

“Bokuto-san doesn’t seem to happy to see me.” Keiji mumbles to Kenma. 

“At least he acknowledged you. He usually gets like this after visiting Yoshimi, so don’t take it personally.”

Koutaro doesn’t bother listening to Keiji’s answer and shuts his door. He checks to make sure it’s closed properly. Once. Twice. Eight more times. He steps back and stares at the doorknob. Then, he sets his bottle of liquor down and falls onto his bed. 

His trip sucked ass. He should’ve never gone in the first place. Yoshimi always got to him, and every time Koutaro thinks he’s stronger, he ends up losing. 

Like the weak person Yoshimi says he is.

Koutaro sighs. He had unconsciously lit up a cigarette, a bad habit of his. Just when he was going to take a nap, someone knocks on his door and opens it. 

It’s Keiji. Always Keiji. What was his deal anyway? Always talking to him and messaging him. How annoying…

Koutaro puts his cigarette in the ash tray on his night table and peeks at Keiji from his pillow. 

“Bokuto-san?”

“What’re you doing here ‘Kaashi?”

“Oikawa-san said I should come along,” Keiji starts. “They’re very worried about you. As am I.”

Koutaro hums. 

“Are you oka—?“

“Can you leave, Akaashi? I don’t really want you here right now.” 

Keiji is surprised. “…What..?”

Koutaro growls. “Get out of my room,” he says. 

Keiji’s mouth opens for a retort, but nothing leaves his mouth. He shakes his head and leaves, slamming the bedroom door shut along the way. 

“Where are you going Akaashi?” Kenma asks as said man gathers his things. 

“Bokuto-san said I should leave, so I’m leaving. Have a good night.” 

The three watch as the door closes. They look at each other with gaping faces and wide eyes. 

The start of a living hell was finally here. And it was going to be worse than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for missing last week's update!! i was having an absolutely terrible week and wasn't able to come up with anything to write, then i accidentally spilled my energy drink all over my laptop and had to get a replacement. again, very sorry!!
> 
> the good news is that for the past three days, i've gotten my writing motivation back and was able to write up until chapter 20 :)) thank you for reading and as always, if there's any confusion, please let me know!! comments and kudos are very much appreciated!!
> 
> Next Time: How Does One Tie a Tie?


	16. How Does One Tie a Tie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hot chocolate has since gone cold. The whipped cream had melted and was now spilling over the sides of the cup. The croissant in Koutaro’s place no longer looked as warm as before. 
> 
> Keiji looks around. There’s no Koutaro. 
> 
> What time was it anyways? Koutaro should’ve been here by now. 
> 
> Keiji’s phone vibrates. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone, not bothering to check who it was from.
> 
> His eyes narrow as he reads over the text.
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro decides to apologize but his thoughts are stopping him.

“I can smell the smoke from here…” Tetsuro pinches his nose. 

“Someone needs to talk to him. I said this already.” Kenma says, eyes still focused on the new video game he was searching up on his laptop. 

“He’s taken all the alcohol. It’s TERRIBLE Ken!” 

“I said go talk to him. Shoo. Go away.” 

Tetsuro sighs. He gets off the couch and heads towards the last room down the hall. He knocks. And knocks. And knocks until Koutaro opens the door boring holes into Tetsuro’s eyes. 

“What!?” Koutaro hisses. 

Tetsuro flinches back. Sometimes, he swore Koutaro behaved more like a cat than an owl. 

“Dude!” Tetsuro does his best to cheer. “Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Thanks for letting me inside!” Tetsuro goes in anyways. He covers his nose immediately and forces a smile on his face. “I-It smells great in here! No wonder you’ve been in here since you got back!” 

After checking he had closed his door right, Koutaro turns around and meets the eyes of his best friend. “What do you want?” 

“I came to check up on you! It’s a Saturday and we always go hang out!” 

“Did you and Ken have your date night yesterday?” Koutaro starts. 

“Well, er—no, we didn’t, but—!”

“Go have your date night today then. Shoo. Go away.” 

“You and Ken spend way too much time together. Look, Kou,” Tetsuro leads Koutaro to sit on the bed. “Why don’t we talk over some lunch? We can go to that yakiniku place you love!”

“No thanks. I know this is your lame attempt at seeing what happened with Yoshimi and I.”

“Kou, come on man! Where’s your head?” 

“Up my ass.” 

“Stop it! I don’t like when you act like this! It’s scary and weird! I hate it!” 

“Hm.” 

“Kou! Don’t fall asleep now!” 

Koutaro crawls into his blankets and covers his head with a pillow. “I’m tired.”

“Well then, maybe we can cuddle with Kenma on the couch! I know you don’t like movies, so why don’t we play video games instead!” 

Koutaro does his best to shrug his shoulders. 

“All right, that’s it. I’m bringing Kenma in!” 

Tetsuro disappears and in comes Kenma just a few minutes later, poking at Koutaro through the blankets. 

“Koutaro.” Kenma mumbles. “Get up.” 

“No.” 

“Koutarooo.” Kenma grumbles. “Please get up and look at me.” 

Koutaro does nothing. 

“I know you want to tell someone how you feel. You hate keeping it to yourself. I know you. So tell me what’s wrong so Tetsuro, Tooru and I can help you.” 

Koutaro sighs in defeat. He gets up and wraps his blankets around him. “TETSUROOO!” he calls. “TETSUUUUU! COME BACK!!!” 

The door opens and in come Tetsuro once more. He makes sure Koutaro is able to see as he checks the door, then jumps onto the bed and joins Koutaro and Kenma in the blankets. 

“Yoshimi…he…he knows how to get in my head.” Koutaro finally tells them. “He knows.” 

“Knows about what?” Tetsuro wiggles around a bit and yawns.

“He knows that I like _like_ Akaashi.” 

Kenma pulls a chip out of his pocket and nods. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Yoshimi thinks he’s a distraction. Something that will cause me to stray…A toy.” 

A snore erupts from Koutaro’s left side, causing the other two to jump up. Koutaro pulls the covers up and smiles as he watches Tetsuro’s chest rise and fall. 

“Tired, huh?” Koutaro whispers and covers Tetsuro up again. 

“He was worried about you, you know.” Kenma pulls another chip out to eat. “Akaashi was too.” 

“Man…” Koutaro groans into his hands. “I was so mean to him…I didn’t mean to kick him out…I just—I was having a bad day!” 

“Why don’t you just go apologize?” 

“I don’t know…”

“Koutaro, you have a bad habit of pushing away the people who are only trying to help you.” 

“It’s not like I’m trying to! I just don’t want anyone getting hurt because of my family!! You know how they get. Mother and Yoshimi...” 

“Maybe that’s how you see it, but I think you should try and trust people more. People that _aren't_ your family." 

“I do trust people!” 

“Koutaro,” Kenma puts his phone down. “No you don’t. I know you don’t.” 

Koutaro pouts and looks away. 

“I know it’s hard. You’ve already lost so many people and you don’t want lose anymore.” 

Still, Koutaro says nothing.

“I know about Nakaya—“

Koutaro immediately turns back to him with wide eyes. 

“Just because you like Akaashi, it doesn’t mean the same thing will happen to him. You have to learn to let people in.” 

“…I don’t know how…” 

“Start by asking Akaashi to dinner and apologize to him.”

“Like a date!?” 

“Well--No? Just a friendly dinner. But I mean, if you want it to be like a date then sure.” 

Koutaro thinks to himself for a minute. “Okay…I can do that…” 

Kenma squeezes his arm gently. “You can do it.” 

“Yeah…I can do it…I got this…” 

———————————————

Keiji falls onto his bed and stares up at the ceiling. Tooru stares at him with worry. 

“He didn’t mean it, you know.” Tooru inhales a breath. “He just got back from a dick step-dad. It always happens, so don’t take it to heart.”

“I understand,” Keiji answers. “But I think I should just give him time by himself first. To get his mind back in Tokyo and out of Hyogo.”

“That’s not a bad idea…I guess.” 

“But…?”

Tooru nervously chuckles. “Aha…but in the past, that’s never really helped either.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever Kou-chan comes back from any visits with his step-father, he always gets into this…emo-mode.” 

“Emo-mode?”

“Yes, um…like a rut, I guess. It varies between an angry mood or a sad one. Usually after visits with Yoshimi, it’s his angry one. It’s normal for him, so we usually just stick with him as much as possible. And once he gets annoyed of us, the normal Kou-chan comes back!” 

“I suppose that could work as well…But still, I think I should just back off for a while. Whatever happens, happens.” 

“Hm…Whatever you think is good, Aka-chan.” 

“Oikawa-san…”

“Hm?”

“Is there something I’m not being told?” 

Tooru freezes. He turns to Keiji and presses his lips in a firm line. Then, he speaks. “Aka-chan, it’s like you said. Whatever happens, happens.”

Keiji narrows his eyes. He bites the inside of his cheek and glances away. 

Tooru sighs. He stands up and pats Keiji’s shoulder before letting himself out. 

Keiji lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. He rubs his temples and lays an arm across his eyes. 

Keiji’s been thinking a lot about what Koutaro meant to him. The days Koutaro was away were too long. They were lonely, even with Kenma and Tetsuro, and occasionally Tooru. Why was it that Koutaro had such an effect on him? Was he truly gaining feelings for the bi-colored haired boy like Kenma and Tooru had said? 

In truth, Keiji didn’t think he was too ready for a relationship. Not yet anyways. But with Koutaro…It just felt right. How original huh? But it was true. They have known each other for a while now and each day was only getting better. But now that Koutaro was back from Hyogo…Something didn’t add up. It didn’t feel right like he had mentioned before. It was tense…hard to breathe…and straining. 

Tetsuro, Kenma and Tooru were all keeping something from him. And Keiji knows it isn’t his place to know, especially since the three had known Koutaro for years. But Keiji just wishes that he would be told about whatever it was soon. If Koutaro did have feelings for Keiji like Tooru said, then Keiji has a right to know…right? 

Ugh. This was so complicated. For fuck’s sake, Keiji just wants to be let in on the secret. He can tell it’s weighing Koutaro down and if he was ever going to get the real Koutaro back, he would have to help him. And the only way Keiji could help Koutaro was if he was told what was going on. But if even Kenma and Tooru wouldn’t say a word, Keiji wouldn’t have much luck by asking Tetsuro. 

Another sigh leaves his lips as his phone vibrates with an awaiting message. Keiji lifts himself off the bed and walks towards his desk to see who it was from. Ha. Speak of the devil. 

**From: Bokuto-san**

**[ _hey akaashi. can we talk? dinner at the cafe? at 7? please. if you want to though. but if you don’t that’s okay. i get it. i was really mean yesterday, so i wanted to talk. if you can. but if you can’t, that’s okay too._ ] **

Keiji stares at the message. Why’s he even pretending to think about it? Almost immediately, he says yes and heads into one of the bathrooms on the floor for a quick shower. Soon after, he stares at himself in the mirror, heads back into his dorm and pulls out every single face-care item he’s owned, and uses them all. 

By then, his face is all shiny and oily, and Keiji’s sure he’ll break out tomorrow. But he doesn’t care. Right now, he needs to look good. And so he looks in his closet to change into something more appropriate for the dinner. He goes with a grey turtleneck and black dress pants, as well as those glasses Koutaro always likes to see him wear. 

Keiji looks at himself in the mirror he and Kenma shared, and frowns. His hair was all over the place, even after his shower. He definitely needs to do something about it…

His phone. He knew those ‘How to’ videos always did the trick. Those were always his number one. Keiji grabs his phone and runs to stand in front of the mirror once more. He clears some space off from his desk and props the phone on there to watch the video meanwhile. 

It’s very difficult, he admits. He didn’t even have all the things they used in the video, so he would have to go shopping for products later. But by the end of it, Keiji is satisfied with how he looks. He grabs his coat, keys, and phone, and heads out the dorms. 

Keiji decides to walk, as he needed some time to mentally prepare for what Koutaro was going to say to him. Keiji thinks he’s excited. I mean, why else did he put so much effort into making sure he looked good? 

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and inhales the fresh, cool air. 

It’ll be fine. He was fine. And his ~~relationship~~ friendship would be alright. 

Right?

———————————————

Tetsuro stretches his arms out and slowly opens his eyes. There’s a few figures moving around in front of him, but he pays no attention to it and closes his eyes again. Until—

“TETSU-CHAN, HEEEEELP!” 

Tetsuro’s eyes snap open again and he sits up right. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, Tetsuro hops off the bed and stretches some more. 

“TETSU-CHAAAAAAN!” 

“Oh my—WHAT!?” 

“HEEELP!” 

Tetsuro directs his attention to the people calling his name. He looks around and realizes he had fallen asleep in Koutaro’s room. Then, he turns back to the three huddled in front of Koutaro’s dresser.

“What is it?” Tetsuro asks. 

“Kou-chan is going to dinner with Aka-chan and we need help finding him something to wear!”

“I told you that my shorts were perfectly fine!” Koutaro whines. 

“Knowing Akaashi, he’ll probably wear something fancy. So you should too.” Kenma digs around in Koutaro’s closet. 

Tetsuro groans. “Apparently I’m the only one with style in this flat.” 

“Yeah, you are! So help!” Koutaro pleads. 

“Ugh.” Tetsuro steps towards Koutaro’s closet where Kenma moves to the side. “How’s the order this month?” 

“Fancy to the left and casual to the right.” Koutaro answers. 

“And the pants?” 

“By color.”

Tetsuro hums and searches through Koutaro’s pants. He chooses some black trousers that Koutaro personally liked and searches for a button up to match. 

“Toory, go get Kou’s face all pampered up.” Tetsuro calls. 

“On it! Let’s go Kou-chan!” 

“Face masks!” Koutaro cheers as he and Tooru head out. 

“Hey Ken, did you find out what happened with Kou?” 

Kenma sits down on Koutaro’s bed and picks at the lint on his sweats. “After you fell asleep, he told me about Yoshimi yelling at him about Akaashi. That’s when the window incident happened.” 

“Sounds like it’s gotten pretty bad.”

“Yeah, but Koutaro’s going to dinner with Akaashi to apologize, so things should get back to normal soon.”

“Things have been getting better since Kou met Akaashi,” Tetsuro pulls out two dress shirts and sets them on the bed. “Hopefully things stay good. Pick one.” 

Kenma looks over the two shirts and picks the charcoal grey one.

“Nice choice,” Tetsuro clicks his tongue and puts the other one back. “Is it like a…date?” 

“Ah, I’m not sure. Koutaro really just wants to apologize. Wait go back to the vest.” Kenma heads back to the closet. “This one.” 

“Aw my little Ken is learning!” Tetsuro coos. 

Kenma grimaces. “Where’s Koutaro? Tooru shouldn’t be taking so long.” 

“I’M HERE!” Tooru announces his return. “And I brought Kou-chan! I even did his hair!” 

“Ponytail!” Koutaro grins. 

Tetsuro laughs and directs Koutaro towards he clothes on the bed. “Here bro. Change into this. We’ll wait for you in the living room. And make sure you don’t take too long!” 

Koutaro nods enthusiastically and watches as they all leave his room. Once he’s sure the door is locked, he eyes the clothes on his bed. He begins to change into the clothes carefully, making sure that the buttons are all lined up and the sleeved are cuffed right. 

He stares at himself in the mirror. He’s been doing that a lot lately. Koutaro thinks he looks good. He hopes he does. He goes through all the jewelry he owned and picks out some earrings he really thought meshed with the outfit. 

His phone rings with a message. 

Sighing, Koutaro grabs it and reads it. 

**From: EIICHI**

**[ _Dad says the sports line is selling out really fast! He’s super proud!! He wants you to come spend another week here to talk about the possibility of another one!! What do you say?_ ] **

Koutaro’s eyes widen. Yoshimi was proud of him? He reads it once more as a warm feeling spreads through his chest. His step-father was finally proud of him! Koutaro finally did something right! Was that really all it took for his step-father to be happy? 

Koutaro bites his lip. No. He shouldn’t go. His step-father was only using him. They made a deal and they kept to it. That was all. No more visiting Hyogo. 

Koutaro nods to himself and ignores the message. He grabs the tie Tetsuro had recommended and begins to try and tie it on his own, ignoring any and all thoughts of Yoshimi that dared to even cross his mind. 

_“Look Koutaro. For people like you and I, a college education is an…accessory. Like a wallet or a watch. It looks and sounds nice, but it’s not necessary for us.” Yoshimi slides a cup of gin to Koutaro. “So drink up and leave your troubles at home. And stop thinking about that Akaashi kid.”_

_Koutaro swirls the alcohol around in his cup. He slowly nods in agreement. “Yeah I…I guess you’re right.”_

Koutaro bites his lip harder. His fingers fumble around the tie. He’s done this a million times before, why is he just now struggling with it? Maybe he should call for help. And what time was it? He might run late if he can’t get the stupid tie on. 

_“It’s why you haven’t taken my offer. You don’t want to be one person here and another with Akaashi.”_

Maybe his step-father was right after all. Keiji was only distracting Koutaro from reaching his true potential. And Yoshimi always did know what was right. That’s how he got all his money, right? 

Koutaro looks down at the tie he had been attempting to fix. He pulls it off with sudden rage. He looks at himself in the mirror—again—and furrows his eyebrows. He takes his phone out and opens his messages.

_“You’re a disappointment. You realized you have feelings for him and it made you weaker. If you’re weak, you’re weak. And well, let’s face it—you’re weak.”_

These words are burned into his mind, fueling him even more. 

Koutaro takes a deep breath and presses send. 

———————————————

Keiji finally arrives at the cafe and pushes the doors open to enter. His head swivels around as he looks for Koutaro. 

_‘Bokuto-san isn’t here yet…’_ Keiji thinks to himself. _’Strange…’_

Keiji decides to simply grab a table--the back corner--and wait for Koutaro there. He hopes that in a few minutes, the man would run in stuttering apologies, apologize again over what happened yesterday, and then return to normal. But it doesn't happen. Time passes and Keiji continues checking his phone for the time. 

A waitress goes over and asks if he's finally ready to order, Keiji hesitantly nods. He decides on a pastry and hot chocolate for Koutaro, and just some coffee for himself. 

Twenty minutes passes by and there's still now sign of Koutaro. 

Keiji scrolls through his phone as he waits for a refill on his coffee. It was getting close to eight now. Keiji snorts at a picture of some old friends from high school on his feed then saves a post about a soon to open onigiri shop. His stomach churns with worry, but he decides on ignoring it. 

Twenty more minutes pass by. 

The hot chocolate has since gone cold. The whipped cream had melted and was now spilling over the sides of the cup. The croissant in Koutaro’s place no longer looked as warm as before. 

Keiji looks around. There’s no Koutaro. 

What time was it anyways? Koutaro should’ve been here by now. 

Keiji’s phone vibrates. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone, not bothering to check who it was from.

His eyes narrow as he reads over the text. 

**From: Bokuto-san**

**[ _srry akaashi. smthg came up._ ]**

**[ _i can’t make it._ ] **

Keiji swallows back the lump in his throat. He puts his phone down and hides his face in his arms. Once he was sure he was calm enough to respond, he sends a message back. 

**To: Bokuto-san**

**[ _I understand._ ]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit shit shit shit. bokuto you absolute fucking coat hanger. 
> 
> anyways, PLEASE READ: the next chapter will be the longest one so far at about 6000 words. it's quite intense and writing it was pretty heavy for me. it will deal with suicidal thoughts and themes of worthlessness. i'll put another warning in the beginning as to remind you all. the next chapter will also go by a bit fast, so please tell me if it gets confusing. 
> 
> as always, thank you for reading!! comments and kudos are most definitely appreciated!! 
> 
> Next Time: You Have Me


	17. You Have Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bokuto-san…” Keiji interrupts, gathering all of their attention. “…He’s avoiding me, isn’t he?”
> 
> Tetsuro nervously chuckles. “What? No way.” 
> 
> Keiji narrows his eyes. 
> 
> Kenma only watches. He wanted no part in this. Tooru stares at his phone, still listening, but keeping quiet. 
> 
> “Look…Kou doesn’t mean any harm. He just has a bad habit of keeping everything to himself. Anything he thinks might even pose the tiniest inconvenience to his friends makes him hide it all. It’s a terrible truth…but he’s still learning…you just have to give him time…” 
> 
> Keiji gets up, already ready to leave. “You know why he’s not talking to me, don’t you?”
> 
> Tetsuro offers a sad smile. “I can’t say…”
> 
> Keiji scowls. “That seems to be happening a lot lately.”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Keiji helps bring Koutaro back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: THE LAST SCENE FOR THIS CHAPTER DOES DEAL WITH MINOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND THEMES OF WORTHLESSNESS!! PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH SUCH DESCRIPTIONS!!

“He’s running late...I’m gonna go check on him.” Tetsuro gets off the couch and heads down the hall. He knocks on Koutaro’s bedroom door and waits for an answer. “Koutaro! Can I come in?” 

“Yeah!” 

Tetsuro opens it and looks around for the man, who was currently slipping on his socks. “Bro! You’re gonna be late to meet Akaashi!” 

Koutaro bites his lip. He looks nervous, but puts on a smile. “I know! But I just need to put my shoes on, and then I’ll run to the cafe.” 

“Don’t keep your boyfriend waiting!” Tetsuro teases as he closes the door and heads back into the living room. Strangely, he hears no retort, but decides not to comment on it. He takes a seat next to Kenma and talks a bit with Tooru as they wait for Koutaro to run out the front door. 

“He usually likes to be early to meet ups or appointments. What’s taking him so long this time?” Tooru looks towards the clock on the wall.

“Last I checked, he was putting his socks on.” Tetsuro gets up again. “But that was fifteen minutes ago…” 

Once more, Tetsuro heads in Koutaro’s room. He knocks, but this time, there’s no answer. “Kou dude, I’m coming in!” Tetsuro opens the door and looks around for his friend. “Koutarooo!”

There’s no sign of him. Tetsuro furrows his eyebrows and closes the door. He heads into the living room and puts his hands on his hips. “He’s not in his room.” 

“He probably went through the back door.” Tooru suggests. 

Kenma nods in agreement. 

“Oh. Makes sense.” 

Unbeknownst to them, Koutaro himself was watching them through one of the windows. Once he saw Tetsuro had sat down and was now talking to Tooru, he runs down the street while calling for a taxi. “Closest hotel please,” he tells the driver.

Koutaro had only brought a small backpack he kept hidden in his closet for emergency trips. He had also brought his phone but his wallet and other personal items were left behind. He had a bit of cash on him so he could at least pay for the taxi and hotel. 

This was the start to gaining the approval of Yoshimi. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. What Koutaro is doing is the right thing to do. 

“We’re here sir.” 

“Thank you.” 

Koutaro pays and hastily gets himself a room at the hotel. When he’s all settled in, he falls back onto his bed and rubs his temples. 

He was doing the thing again, wasn’t he? Running away from everything and everyone because he was afraid of facing his problems? Jeez. Now he kind of sounds like Tetsuro. As a matter of fact, this was something Tetsuro would do! Well, old Tetsuro would. 

Koutaro still hadn’t answered Eiichi. Koutaro didn’t think he should, especially in the state of mind he was currently in. I mean, he already made one bad decision. He shouldn’t do another. 

Except, wanting to do what Yoshimi thinks is best isn’t a bad decision. Right? Technically, it’s a good decision. Koutaro wasn’t hurting anyone. He would make Yoshimi and Eiichi happy, which isn’t bad. So maybe going to Hyogo for another week wouldn’t be wrong. 

Maybe, Koutaro could even stay for two weeks to get more things done. But volleyball…it was his dream. He’s always wanted volleyball. 

Koutaro massages his face roughly. All this thinking was hurting his head. 

Past comments and looks from Yoshimi come rushing back to his head. Things like “Volleyball is just a phase. You’ll be over it soon,” and “You need to think about your future. Volleyball isn’t going to hold you for long.” 

Going to Hyogo…abandoning his friends for two weeks without a word of warning…all for Yoshimi to give him a pat on the back? 

Koutaro clenches his jaw. If Yoshimi thinks it’s a good idea, then it is. Getting a chance to finally get his step-father’s love was like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Actually, it technically was. 

This was the right thing to do. Koutaro’s sure of it. He grabs his phone and dials Eiichi’s number. 

**_“Koutaro! How’s it going?? Did you get my message??”_**

“Uh yeah, I did! I-It looks like I’m coming back to Hyogo. Maybe…two weeks, if that’s cool?”

**_“HOLY—YES IT’S FINE! I’LL TELL FATHER RIGHT AWAY! HE’S GONNA BE SO HAPPY! THE THE PLANE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU MONDAY! YOU CAN TAKE SOME TIME OFF FROM SCHOOL RIGHT!?”_**

Koutaro chuckles. “Yeah, I’ll just make up some excuse.”

**_“GREAT! OKAY LOOK, I’LL CALL YOU BACK LATER TO TELL YOU WHAT FATHER SAID! I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO COME BACKKK! SEE YA!”_ **

Koutaro hangs up. Still looking at his phone, he quickly goes over everyone’s locations. 

Keiji was at the dorms. Koutaro ignores the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and continues. Tetsuro, Kenma, and Tooru were at the flat. Everyone else was either at some store or at their homes. 

No one’s noticed his plan yet then. Koutaro would just have to keep watch and make sure no one’s at the flat when he goes to pack. 

This was it. He’s made his decision. There’s no going back now. 

———————————————

After finally being able to rip Tetsuro’s sweaty arms from his waist, Kenma was now free to return to the dorms on this somewhat nice Sunday morning. It’s cold and gray and kind of ugly to other people, but Kenma found it absolutely beautiful. Sometimes the sun was just…too much, you know? 

Once he enters the dorm, he’s immediately greeted by a slumped over Keiji at the coffee table, typing away at his laptop. 

“How is it possible that someone can enjoy doing essays?” Kenma mutters as he falls onto the beanbag headfirst. 

“Hello to you too.” Keiji mumbles. 

Kenma taps away at his phone, telling off a grumpy Tetsuro and Tooru who were already arguing over the last spoonful of cocoa powder. 

“Is Koutaro hiding away around here?” Kenma smirks. “You did let him sleepover right?”

Keiji’s typing stops for a second, but soon he returns to writing out his essay, a bit slower this time. “Of course not.” 

Kenma does a double-take. Putting his phone down, he sits up right. “What do you mean?”

Keiji turns around and faces Kenma. “I waited at the cafe. Bokuto-san texted me about an hour after the time we were supposed to meet and cancelled.” 

Kenma looks surprised. 

“Did Bokuto-san even leave the house?”

“Well…Yeah, we’re pretty sure he did. He wasn’t in any of the rooms or bathrooms. We all thought he had stayed here with you since he didn’t come home for the night.” 

“But since he isn’t here…”

“Then we don’t know where he is at all. Fuck.” 

**To: tetsuro <3**

**[ _is koutaro home yet?_ ] **

“Do you know where Bokuto-san could be at all?” Keiji asks. 

Kenma bites his lip. “No idea…” he lies. 

**From: tetsuro <3**

**[ _No._ ]**

**[ _Why?_ ]**

**[ _Isn’t he with Akaashi?_ ]**

**[ _He’s probably just hiding in your guys’ room._ ] **

**[ _Ask Akaashi._ ] **

“Akaashi, you’re sure he didn’t make it to the cafe?” 

“Why would I lie?” 

**To: tetsuro <3**

**[ _say it all in one message, stop spamming. and koutaro isn’t here at all. he didn’t even show up for the dinner at the cafe_ ] **

**From: tetsuro <3**

**[ _You guys should probably come back to the flat._ ]**

**[ _Koutaro’s location is turned off._ ] **

Kenma whispers a small “Shit…” under his breath and gets up. “Akaashi, we gotta head to the flat.” He quickly dials Hiroshi’s number and kindly asks for him to come pick them up. 

As they wait, Kenma sends multiples texts to Koutaro’s phone, asking where he went. 

Keiji slips his coat on and worryingly looks over at Kenma. “Kenma, do you think Bokuto-san could be staying at a friends house?”

Kenma huffs out a nervous laugh. “Let’s just hope he’s still in the city.” 

Ignoring Keiji’s confused look, Kenma shuts his eyes tight and prays to whatever higher power there was that Koutaro was safe and not running away like he had done in high school. 

That day was a shock to both Kenma and Tetsuro. 

———————————————

_“Hey Kozume?” Koutaro taps said boy’s shoulder. “What’s a place you’ve always wanted to travel to?”_

_Kenma thinks for a while. “South America.”_

_“Kuroo?” Koutaro calls. “Have you ever been to South America?”_

_Tetsuro scoffs. “Of course not. I haven’t even been out of Tokyo!”_

_“Kozume?” Koutaro says again. “Where in South America would you go to?”_

_“Brazil.”_

_Koutaro taps his chin in thought. “Do they speak Japanese there?”_

_Kenma shrugs._

_“Maybe?” Tetsuro decides._

_“Hm.” Koutaro hums._

_“Why? Haven’t you been to South America before anyways?”_

_“No, that was North America. I went to New York, but only for a week.”_

_“Bro.”_

_“Bro?”_

_Kenma rolls his eyes._

_Two days later, Tetsuro had received a text from Akinori about Koutaro’s sudden disappearance. The boy hadn’t been seen in classes or volleyball practice, and there was no parent or guardian for Fukurodani Academy to contact._

_“We’re just gonna go to his house and make sure he isn’t sick! You know how Bokuto hates asking for help!” Tetsuro pats Kenma’s head. He knocks on the door and waits for someone to open it._

_It’s Akemi._

_“Uh, hello Bokuto-san. We came to make sure Bo—er, Koutaro was okay!” Tetsuro politely smiles._

_Akemi’s eyebrows furrow. “He didn’t tell you?”_

_“Tell us what?” Kenma asks, stepping out from behind Tetsuro._

_“Koutaro took a trip to South America. He should be back in a couple days.”_

_“Oh…Well, the school was hoping to reach you about this. No one had confirmed anything so they were worried.” Tetsuro does his best to explain._

_“Ah,” Akemi checks her phone. “I see. Thank you for telling me. You two have a safe walk home.”_

_And the door closes._

_“I see Bokuto’s mother is still as cold as ever.” Kenma mumbles as he and Tetsuro walk to their own houses. “You okay?”_

_“No.” Tetsuro answers honestly. “We’re his best friends! Why didn’t he tell us any of this!?”_

_“It’s like you said. Bokuto-san hates asking for help.”_

_Tetsuro crosses his arms in frustration. “But that doesn’t excuse him just leaving to the other side of the world!”_

_“When he comes back, we can ask.”_

_Tetsuro grumbles._

_As Akemi had said, Koutaro returned about a week and a half later. Tetsuro and Kenma had decided to stop by his house again, just to give him a piece of their mind._

_“We got scared Bokuto!” Tetsuro raises his voice. “You totally just left without a warning! We thought you were hurt! Do you have ANY idea how I felt when your mom had told us that you went to SOUTH AMERICA!? Everyone was worried about you!”_

_After a few minutes of just yelling and scolding, Tetsuro stopped mid-sentence when he saw Kenma gently rubbing Koutaro's back. “W-What happened?” Tetsuro whispered out._

_“I think you overwhelmed him with the yelling.” Kenma had answered._

_Soft sniffles were heard from Koutaro’s shaking body as he cried and cried._

_“Bo…” Tetsuro hugs the boy. “I’m sorry for yelling…I just—I was so scared.”_

_“Why did you leave anyways?” Kenma hands a tissue to Koutaro._

_Koutaro rubs his eyes with it and clears his throat. “Akemi is asking Yoshimi for a divorce.”_

_Tetsuro’s face falls. Kenma frowns._

_“I don’t know if it will ever get any better for me.” Koutaro mutters. “Everything is completely falling apart,” his voice cracks as he begins crying again._

_“That doesn’t mean you need to run away.” Kenma gently says._

_“Come on Bo! We’re bros! And bros have each other’s backs! So stop crying and l-let’s go play some volleyball! Yakkun and Konoha already agreed to it! Let’s get your mind off of it all.”_

_Koutaro uses the bottom of his T-shirt to wipe his tears away. Slowly, he gets up and grabs his practice bag by the door, no words said at all._

_Kenma half-listens as Tetsuro tells Koutaro about all he had missed and about how lucky Koutaro was to be able to travel the world._

_‘Poor Bokuto-san,’ Kenma thinks. ‘It’s always a never ending cycle of getting hurt and running away for him.’_

———————————————

“The limo’s here, Kenma.” Keiji taps his shoulder. 

Kenma looks up and sees that Hiroshi had called his phone numerous times. “Sorry…” he mumbles. 

They get into the limousine and sit in silence as Hiroshi apologizes for the late timing and traffic. Speaking of which…

“Hiroshi?” Kenma lowers the divider. “Have you seen Koutaro around lately?”

Hiroshi shakes his head. “No contact at all. Why? Has he disappeared again?”

“Unfortunately.” Kenma puts the divider back up and sits back in his seat, staring out at the passing cars and people on the sidewalk. 

“Kenma, what does he mean by ‘again’?” 

Kenma continues looking out the window. “This has happened before.” 

“But he always comes back, right?” 

Kenma can’t answer this. If he did, he’d have to lie. Kenma knows Keiji is upset about Koutaro cancelling their dinner and putting him off, but deep down, he can also tell that Keiji still cares. A lot. 

Looks like lying is the only way.

“Don’t worry too much Akaashi. It’s Koutaro. Greece, New York, Hyogo…South America…he finds his way back home somehow. And if he can’t, then that’s why we’re here to take him back.” 

Keiji is satisfied with the answer. 

But he fails to notice the way Kenma’s leg bounces up and down out of nervousness, the way he’d check his phone repeatedly to see if Koutaro had turned his location on, and the brief moment in which his eyes water with small tears of both anger and worry. 

———————————————

“Just got back from Koushi’s. He hasn’t seen Koutaro anywhere. I even checked their neighbors apartments.” Tetsuro throws his jacket at Tooru’s face, who lets out a yelp.

“And I just got back from that stupid Ushijima’s house. I almost suffocated in there.” Tooru falls onto the floor with a thud. 

“He’s been gone since yesterday. He can’t have already left Tokyo. He should still be here.” 

“Unless,” Tooru sits up. “Unless he already came to pack. We don’t know where he is but he does know where we are. He could’ve just came to pack while we were gone.” 

Tetsuro’s face falls. “The suitcase…” 

Tooru and Tetsuro push past each other to run to Koutaro’s room, where they hastily search for his suitcase from Yoshimi’s trip. 

“Found it!” Tooru calls. “It was under his bed.” 

“Okay, then we can say for sure that he’s still in the city.”

“But he wasn’t at anyone’s house!” 

“Where did he stay last time he got back from Greece?” 

“He slept under the park bench, remember?” 

“We checked there right?” 

“I think so.” 

“Do you think—“

“No, he wouldn’t be there. It has to be a place we didn’t think of.” 

“A hotel?”

“You know he hates talking to new people. Please take this seriously Tetsu-chan.” 

“I AM BEING SERIOUS!” 

“Tetsuro, Tooru.” Kenma calls from their living room. 

Said boys both head back to meet with Keiji and Kenma, who were each fidgeting with their fingers. 

"Any luck?" Tetsuro asks as he shifts from leg to leg. 

Kenma shakes his head. 

The four decide to make themselves comfortable on the couches and begin making calls and checking Koutaro's location (again) to see if there was any updates. 

“Tetsu-chan,” Tooru whispers, just loud enough so that said man could hear.

“What?” Tetsuro whispers back. 

“Did Kou-chan say anything while I was with Akaashi?” 

Tetsuro ponders back to his last conversation with Koutaro. “Well…he had mentioned something about Yoshimi thinking of Akaashi as a distraction. That was pretty much the gist of it.” 

Tooru frowns. He still had no clue about where Koutaro could be.

The two reload their phone screens and continue rechecking for any sign of their missing friend. 

“Koutaro’s gone away again, don’t know if we’ll find him this time~” Tetsuro sings. 

“Wonder where Kou-chan is, don’t know if we’ll find him this time~” Tooru adds on. 

“Spain, South America and Greeeeece!”

“Wooh!” 

“Run, run, run awaaaay!” 

“Spain, South America, and Greeeeece!”

“Wooh!” Tetsuro says this time.

“Run, run, run awaaaay!”

“How can they joke around right now?” Keiji whispers over to Kenma.

“Just ignore them. This is their way of de-stressing.” 

Keiji furrows his eyebrows. “Kuroo-san,” he says. “Had Bokuto-san said anything to you that could lead us to where he is?” 

Tetsuro stops singing, leaving Tooru to finish off the rest of their made-up song. “There was this thing with his step-father, but…” he trails off. 

“But what?”

“Nothing.” 

Keiji is visibly irritated by this. “ _Anything_ can help.” 

Tooru shrugs. Tetsuro whistles to some random song. Kenma doesn’t look at him. 

“Did Bokuto-san talk to you guys after I left? Please answer this.” 

Kenma speaks up. “He was a bit on edge at first, but eventually he was back to normal. He was excited to go to the dinner with you, but then you told us he cancelled, which is why we were so surprised.”

Keiji thinks over this. Koutaro was normal after he left then? That’s…something. But why would he suddenly leave? It doesn’t make any sense. 

Oh. _Oh_. Keiji lets out a deep sigh. 

“—ask to rent us a recording studio so we can release the song. You think he’d be mad when he finds out we wrote a song about him?” Keiji hears Tetsuro ask. 

“No way. He should feel honored.” Tooru answers. 

“Bokuto-san…” Keiji interrupts, gathering all of their attention. “…He’s avoiding me, isn’t he?”

Tetsuro nervously chuckles. “What? No way.” 

Keiji narrows his eyes. 

Kenma only watches. He wanted no part in this. Tooru stares at his phone, still listening, but keeping quiet. 

“Look…Kou doesn’t mean any harm. He just has a bad habit of keeping everything to himself. Anything he thinks might even pose the tiniest inconvenience to his friends makes him hide it all. It’s a terrible truth…but he’s still learning…you just have to give him time…” 

Keiji gets up, already ready to leave. “You know why he’s not talking to me, don’t you?”

Tetsuro offers a sad smile. “I can’t say…”

Keiji scowls. “That seems to be happening a lot lately.”

———————————————

“You think they’ll get mad if we miss a month’s worth of classes?” Tooru asks out loud. 

Tetsuro thinks for an answer. “Nah,” he decides on. 

The two had already missed their classes for today. It was Monday, so perhaps skipping for at least a week wouldn’t be so bad. Or maybe just dropping out altogether would be the best option. 

“Koushi hasn’t seen him anywhere, but he said he’s gonna keep an eye out.” 

“…for selener.” Tetsuro mumbles under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” 

“You say the strangest things sometimes Tetsu-chan.” Tooru shakes his head. 

“You think Koutaro is already out of Japan?” Tetsuro quickly changes the subject. 

“Of course not,” Tooru scoffs. “He wouldn’t just—leave.”

Tetsuro gives him a pointed stare. 

“He wouldn’t.” Tooru says once more, just to convince himself. 

They open the door to their flat where Kenma was on the phone with a distressed Shoyo. 

“Yes Shoyo, once we find him, I’ll make sure he calls you first.” An exasperated smile paints itself on Kenma’s face as he listens on to Shoyo’s rambling. “He’s going to be fine don’t worry. I’ll call you later. Tell Kageyema I said hi.” Kenma hangs up and rubs his head tiredly. “No contact from Koutaro either.” 

“No luck with Iwa-chan and Koushi either.” Tooru paces around the room. 

“And we don’t have any idea where he could be.” Tetsuro adds on.

Kenma thinks for a bit. “Okay look, we need to get the facts sorted out. Can we say with 120% that Koutaro is still in Tokyo?” 

Tooru nods. “He still has all his clothes here, including the suitcase he took for the trip to Hyogo.”

“And we can also say that he’s not hiding out with any of our friends?” 

“Yup. He wouldn’t want to drag any of them into this.” Tetsuro confirms. 

“We also know that before, he was still hung up on getting approval from Yoshimi, correct?”

Tooru and Tetsuro nod. 

“Tetsuro, you still have Tamura’s number right?” 

“Um, yeah. Why exactly?” 

“Call him and ask for Koutaro.”

Tetsuro raises a brow but does as told. In a few seconds, Eiichi was on speaker, grumbling about how Tetsuro was so annoying and whiny. 

“Shut up you shitty face. Have you talked to Koutaro at all lately?” Tetsuro asks. 

**_“OH! Father was proud of Koutaro for selling out the entire athletics line! I’ve never seen the old man smile so proudly! So Koutaro’s coming over for a few more weeks to do some more work! The plane should be arriving around 9!”_**

Absolute silence. 

“We’re so stupid.” Kenma sighs. 

“Why do you ask?” 

Tetsuro hisses a small, “Fuck you,” and hangs up. 

“Check if the luggage is still in his room.” 

“On it.” Tooru runs to Koutaro’s room. He comes back, pale and out of breath. “It’s gone.” 

“Shit.”

“Dorms. We need to get Aka-chan.” 

“And then to the airport to stop Koutaro.” 

“Mission: Save Kou That Stupid Bastard is on.” 

———————————————

“AKA-CHAAAAAN! WE HAVE TO HURRY BEFORE IT’S TOO LAAATE!” Tooru runs around the dorm, yelling at the top of his lungs. 

Keiji, obviously surprised, jumps back at the noise. “Huh?” he asks. 

“Kou-chan is leaving for Hyogo again soon! We have to stop him!!” Tooru pulls on him. 

Keiji quirks a brow. “If it’s what Bokuto-san wants, why do you want to stop it?” 

“That’s the thing!! It’s not what Kou-chan wants!” Tooru tries to quickly explain. “Kou-chan is only doing this because it’s what Yoshimi wants! Kou-chan is destroying himself just to get his step-father’s approval!” 

Keiji doesn’t move. Rather, he looks more confused than ever. 

“Look Aka-chan,” Tooru sighs. “I know you’re annoyed that we’re not telling you everything about Kou-chan.” 

Keiji’s eyes don’t move. They stay focused on the book he was currently holding. 

“Aka-chan, Koutaro never understood what familial love was.” Tooru decides to start with. 

Keiji clenches his jaw.

“Growing up with different men to call your step-father mentally damages you. And when you add in the fact that he had a bitch for a mom.”

Keiji finally glances up. 

“However, there was one man Tetsu-chan, Ken-chan and I got to meet. The only step-father that wanted Kou-chan to feel the love he never got.”

“Who?”

“Kou-chan talks about him a lot. His name is Hisato-san.”

———————————————

_Takahashi Hisato stares down at a seven-year-old Bokuto Koutaro._

_Hisato waves. Koutaro steps back. Hisato’s head cocks to the side in confusion. Koutaro stares down at his small feet._

_“Koutaro! Please pick up your mess! I thought I told you not to play in the living room!” Akemi scolds. “Don’t you ever learn…” she adds on under her breath._

_Koutaro looks back up to Hisato, then turns around to clean up the books and toys he had laying around the couches._

_“Does he….not talk?” Hisato asks._

_Akemi crosses her arms and watches as Koutaro scurries to his room. “He doesn’t like talking to new people.”_

_“Hm. Strange.”_

_“Koutaro! It’s rude to hide away in your room when there are guests. Please greet them.” Hisato hears Akemi yell as she enters her son’s room._

_“Strange people.” he says once more._

_Koutaro never did like any of the men Akemi married. Those men weren’t his father._

_Hisato did try getting Koutaro to come out of his shell. But every single time, Koutaro would either run away before Hisato could ask or turned them all down._

_For example, picking him up from school._

_“Koutaro! Hey kid!” Hisato waved his arm as he held the door open to his car._

_Koutaro hid his face and walked the opposite way as students from his school fawned over the latest addition to Hisato’s car collection._

_“Wha—Hey! Koutaro!” Hisato whined._

_And the volleyball games._

_“I got us tickets to see Japan’s national team! Box seats!” Hisato showed them to Koutaro._

_Koutaro bit his lip. He really wanted to go. Either he could watch the game from his room, or risk it all and go with Hisato to watch in person._

_“Just…” Koutaro had whispered. “Just this once.”_

_Hisato had felt his small flame of hope grow bigger at this. And finally, Koutaro was allowing himself to trust Hisato just a bit more._

_Like something as simple as going shopping._

_“Aren’t we going to get tuxedos?” Koutaro fumbles with the bottom of his tie. “I…I need more vests…”_

_“Huh?” Hisato had taken Bokuto’s small hand in his. “Of course not! We’re going to get you some new video games! What kind of a step-dad would I be if we came just for that!?”_

_Koutaro had let himself smile a bit more that day._

_Hisato knew he had won Koutaro’s heart over the day he took the two of them for ice cream._

_“Thanks…dad.” Koutaro had smiled._

_“Wha—What did you say?”_

_Koutaro had no intentions of saying it again. Until Hisato had given him another scoop of course._

_“Dad. Thanks dad.”_

_Hisato swore he was going to cry._

_“You’re very welcome Koutaro.”_

_But the day it all came crashing down was when Hisato had came back from a business trip, just to see Akemi in bed with his very own brother. Takahashi Itsuo._

_“We’ll still be able to hang out Koutaro! Just the two of us!” Hisato had assured him._

_Koutaro’s face was blank. He didn’t cry. He didn’t smile. He just backed away like the first day Hisato had set foot in the house, and ran to his room._

_Things were much harder for Hisato and Koutaro from there on out. Especially with Yoshimi being the newest edition to Akemi’s long list of husbands._

_The day Koutaro had asked Hisato for help on renting out a small apartment for him and his then boyfriend, Nakaya, Hisato thought that maybe this could be the start to trying to rebuild their relationship._

_“Don’t hold your breath," was all Koutaro said as he was handed the keys._

_And when Hisato found out that Akemi was manipulating Koutaro to take over Yoshimi’s company for money, Hisato had paid a visit to Koutaro to check up on him._

_“Akemi is still Akemi. How could I have forgotten it?” Hisato sighed._

_Koutaro, fifteen at the time, had glared. “Any chance you could try and forget me?”_

_And when Koutaro was seventeen and already losing the long battle with his demons, Hisato had shown up for drinks._

_“I don’t condone underage drinking by the way.”_

_Koutaro finally chuckled a bit. “Sure.”_

_And at last, after all the chaos and lies, Koutaro had gone to visit Hisato with his three other friends._

_“This is Toory—“_

_“It’s Tooru, Kou-chan!”_

_“—Tetsuro and his boyfriend Kenma!”_

_Hisato didn’t think he had smiled so hard in ages._

_“Thanks for letting us come down here…dad.”_

_“Of course son. You know you’re welcome anytime.”_

_———————————————_

“Approval from his parents is all Kou-chan’s ever wanted. None of us can stop him from achieving that. The lengths he’d go just to get one smile from them is unimaginable.” 

“I see…” 

“We don’t like bringing it up. Especially since it isn’t our place to talk about it,” Tooru picks at the non-existent lint on his shirt. “Aka-chan please. We need your help to get Koutaro back.” 

“Why does it have to be me? He’d listen to any of you.” 

“Kou-chan sees us and you differently.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“To him, Tetsuro, Kenma and I are family. But you—I hate to admit this, but he sees you as someone he wants to fight for…UGH, WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN!?” Tooru growls and clutches his hair tightly as Keiji watches in amusement. “He knows we believe in him! He just needs one more person—a new person—to believe in him too! He values what you think! Why else would he be so upset you were disappointed in him for getting high!?” 

Keiji gnaws at his lip. His fingers wrestle with themselves nervously. 

“He needs you in a way he never needed us. Please Aka-chan.” 

Keiji gets up from his desk and puts his book down. He grabs his keys and walks towards the door. He puts on his slippers and waits for Tooru to join him. 

“Aka-chan!?” Tooru exclaims as he gives said boy a quizzical look. 

Keiji smiles. “We have to hurry. We don’t know when that plane will come, Oikawa-san.” 

“I thought I told you to call me Tooru!” 

“My apologies, Tooru-san.” 

They both run into the awaiting limo which held Kenma and Tetsuro. Hiroshi does his best to avoid traffic and gets them past the gates, where all the planes were held. Keiji remembers where Yoshimi’s plane was kept from last time. 

“You got this Aka-chan!” 

“Good luck Akaashi.” Kenma gives a small smile, a sign of his proudness. 

Tetsuro smirks as the limo finally stops. “Go get your mans.” 

Keiji looks out the window. His eyes widen. 

Koutaro looked so heartbroken as he left his cab. Even from where Keiji sat, he could see the bags under Koutaro’s eyes. His hair was all messed up, probably from restlessly running his hands through them. 

“He was going to wear that to your dinner.” Tooru whispers. “Looks like he didn’t change his clothes at all.” 

“Go Akaashi.” Kenma nods towards Koutaro. 

Keiji doesn’t wait for any other words. He opens the door and doesn’t bother to close it as he almost trips over himself in his hurry. 

“Bokuto-san! Please wait!” Keiji yells as he runs towards the man. He’s running in his stupid house slippers with no jacket on and his cheeks red from the cold. It’s so dumb and he probably looks like such an idiot, but what the hell. 

Koutaro turns around, surprised Keiji even wanted to see him after what he had done. 

“Bokuto-san!” Keiji latches onto said man’s arms and takes deep breaths in and out. Jeez, he really was out of shape. “Please don’t go.” 

“I have to. This is what Yoshimi wants me to do.” 

“But it’s not what _you_ want!” 

“It doesn’t matter what I want Akaashi! What matters is that I’m worthy to my mother and my step-fathers!” 

“What about what _I_ want!?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Keiji holds Koutaro’s arms tighter. Now was not the time for a confession. So maybe… 

“I don’t want you going anywhere!” Keiji grits his teeth. “Especially if I know it’s not making you happy. You might not care about what you want, but what about what I want!? Do you care about what matters to _me_!?” 

Koutaro gulps. “'Kaashi, of course I do…but—“ 

“Then don’t go. _Don’t leave_. Kuroo-san and Kenma...and Tooru-san—Please just don’t go. Please.” 

Koutaro clenches his jaw. He inhales a shaky breath. “Okay…Okay…” he whispers. “I’ll call it off…” 

Keiji presses his face into Koutaro’s chest and wraps his arms around his waist. “Thank you…” 

Koutaro’s arms freeze. He slowly embraces Keiji back, then holds him even tighter. 

“I’m sorry…” Koutaro mumbles into Keiji’s dark curls. “I’m so, _so_ sorry.” 

“It’s okay…” 

_———————————————_

Keiji uses the keys Tetsuro had given him to unlock the flat. Koutaro trails behind him like a lost puppy. Everyone else had gone to the cafe to give them some time alone. 

Keiji leads them both to Koutaro’s bedroom, where said man drops to his knees in front of Keiji and….and cries? 

“Bokuto-san, um—“ 

“I’m sorry Akaashi…I’m so so sorry…” 

Keiji lowers himself and hugs Koutaro tightly. “I thought I told you it was okay.” 

“But it _isn’t_!” Koutaro pushes him away. “I-I was going to abandon you guys all for some stupid step-father who probably won’t ever look at me again!” Koutaro continues to cry as he rubs his eyes painfully. “What was I thinking…They don’t ever accept me…” 

Keiji’s heart breaks at this. 

“Bokuto-san…” 

“I don’t know why I even try anymore! I hate this so much! I hate feeling like this and always making wrong decisions that never _fucking_ help me! What is so wrong with me that makes them always hate me!? Tell me Akaashi! _What’s wrong with me_!?" 

Keiji doesn’t know what to do. His mouth opens and closes around words that don’t want to come out. 

_‘Come on Keiji…help him…’_ his mind scolds him. _‘Don’t just sit there.’_

Koutaro sobs even harder when Keiji doesn’t say anything. “I hate myself so fucking bad it hurts! I hate everything about me! I wish I could just fucking die already! Why am I even here anymore! There’s nothing for me…” Koutaro breaks down into even more tears as he cradles himself against the floor. 

Keiji wants to cry. How could someone as perfect as Koutaro say that? His eyes gloss with tears. “ _Don’t say that_ ,” he grits his teeth. “ _Don’t say that ever again._ ” 

“Leave me alone.” Koutaro’s husky voice demands. “Let me leave.” 

Keiji wipes his eyes. “No. You’re going to do something terrible to yourself.” 

“JUST LET ME GO ALREADY! WHY DO YOU, TOORU, KENMA AND TETSURO ALWAYS HAVE TO BABY ME!? _LET ME LEAVE DAMN IT_!” 

Keiji doesn’t budge. “I said no!” he cries. 

Koutaro stays like that on the floor. His arms cover his head as his tears don’t stop. He’s sobbing and begging for Keiji to let him leave and to just let him die. He keeps repeating that same phrase over and over again. 

“Let me go already…” 

Keiji doesn’t look at Koutaro. He ignores all of these sentences and stays next to him, knees hugged up to his chest as his own tears stream down his cheeks. Why does it hurt so bad? 

“Why do you care so much?” Koutaro’s voice cracks. “You’re not supposed to care…Stop caring…” 

Keiji still doesn’t look. “No.” 

“That’s all you’ve been saying. No this, no that. Don’t you ever say anything else.” 

“No.” 

A forced laugh makes it’s way from Koutaro’s chest. “ _No_ ,” he imitates Keiji. His tears have stopped since then. Now it was just laughing through it all, like it had been for the last 22 years. “You people never listen to me. I always tell them to leave me. Let me go. But _no_. They always have to stay. And look what happens to them.” 

“What happens to them?” Keiji asks. His cheeks are wet, but at least he isn’t crying anymore. 

“The same thing that’s happening to you right now.” 

Keiji refuses to look at Koutaro. 

“Tetsuro didn’t talk to me for days after I broke down. He was so mad, but kept following me around. Kenma was just disappointed in me. He didn’t leave though. And Tooru…God…Tooru wouldn’t leave me alone. No one ever leaves me alone.” 

“Because people care.” 

“Well they shouldn’t.” 

“It’s not up to us to decide who we care for.” 

Koutaro joins Keiji on the floor, against his bed. He stares at the cracked spot on his flooring, feeling nothing anymore. 

“How could you say that?” Keiji asks, still staring at Koutaro’s door. “ _Why_ would you say that?” 

Koutaro doesn’t answer for a few minutes. Keiji thinks he won’t say anything, until he hears his voice. 

“Because I hate my life.” 

Such a small answer, yet it makes Keiji want to cry again. He demands himself to not cry. To stay stone-faced, like always. 

Koutaro sees this. He stares at Keiji for a bit longer, then looks away. 

Minutes pass by. 

“I care about you.” Keiji finally speaks up. “A lot…I don’t know why. I just care.” 

“You shouldn’t.” 

“Like I said, it’s not up to me to decide.” 

“What if you could decide.” 

“I’d still care.” 

Koutaro scoffs. 

“Contrary to what you think, there’s many things for you to live for. _To not die for_.” Keiji’s gaze glides over to Koutaro’s hand. “And you owe it to them—to me—not to give up.” He takes his hand and just holds it. Nothing else. Just simple hand holding. Koutaro doesn’t move. His hand doesn’t hold Keiji’s back. 

“You could’ve left." Koutaro says. "You could’ve had Tetsuro or Tooru take care of me instead. You could’ve just walked out that door and left me.” 

“But I didn’t.” 

“You didn’t.” 

Koutaro finally holds Keiji’s hand tightly. 

“You don’t ever leave me alone either.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

“You’re weird.” 

“I _care_.” 

“I have you now, don’t I? I have to keep trying for you too now.” 

“You do,” Keiji smiles. His head drops onto Koutaro’s shoulder as he closes his eyes. “You have me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaaaay a lot to unpack here. the last scene was by far the hardest to write, as i had to dig into a dark place to create it. but alas, bokuto and akaashi finally made it through together. things will start to smooth over from here.
> 
> i think the last scene with bokuaka was definitely very important to their relationship. this is where the two begin to realize how much they truly care about one another and the lengths they'd go to just to show it. 
> 
> overall, the bokuaka scene was definitely heartbreaking for me, especially since we saw that vastly different side of bokuto. thankfully, akaashi was there and didn't leave. 
> 
> Next Time: The End of an Era


	18. The End of an Era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Of course. And Koutaro,” Hiroshi glances at him from the mirror. “I’m proud of you.” 
> 
> Koutaro smiles. He’s been smiling a lot today. “Thanks Hiroshi.” He sits back in his seat and sings along to the music blasting through the speakers as he stares out his window, watching the people outside. 
> 
> They stop at the red light where Koutaro takes this moment to survey the area. Library in that corner, a convenience store on the other and…and a broken down club? 
> 
> “Hey hey, Hiroshi…Park over there…”
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro spends his money and Hajime comes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had originally planned for iwaizumi to be attending school outside of japan. however, in CH 9, he was written in attending the same university as bokuto and oikawa. that is completely my mistake! so please ignore the scene that had iwaizumi at the same school as them! as implied by the last scene of this chapter, he was at school outside of japan! again, i apologize for the confusion!
> 
> TW: MINOR MENTION OF A SUICIDE ATTEMPT!!

Another day of missed classes. 

Akaashi Keiji had never missed a day of classes. He had straight A’s and 90% or above for all of them. Yet here he was, missing two days worth of school for the man sleeping beside him on the floor. 

His back hurts. His throat is dry. His head is also pounding, but that’s probably just from the crying he did last night when he and Koutaro had their argument. There’s also drool on his cheek and arm. 

A groan makes it’s way past his lips as he sits up. His ass is sore too. Great. Keiji does his best to stand. His legs are both numb, but at least he’s up. He looks back down at Koutaro, who was still sleeping and snoring. 

Keiji doesn’t want to wake him up. And the floor is definitely too uncomfortable to sleep on. But Koutaro is a volleyball athlete who is probably made of pure muscles. There’s no way Keiji can lift him up and onto the bed, so he settles for draping a blanket over Koutaro and stuffing a pillow under his head. 

Keiji looks around Koutaro’s room for a bit. He finds a laundry basket with freshly folded clothes at the edge of the bed, so he decides to steal some and change into the new clothes. At least he didn’t smell like sweat and tears anymore. 

Now to find some food…A mini fridge in the corner with a counter full of just chips and candies. And in the mini fridge? Energy drinks. Of course. Maybe he should just head into the kitchen and make ~~breakfast~~ dinner. 

Yeah, that sounds good. The blue-eyed boy makes his way out the bedroom and down the hall. He stares at the paintings littering the walls until he reaches the living room. Ya know, Keiji’s never really been able to thoroughly enjoy the aesthetic in the house. It was quite fancy actually, but gave off a lazy vibe as well. It was…actually a lot like Koutaro. Huh. 

Keiji turns right and heads into the kitchen, where—

“Look who finally woke up.” Tooru grins as he sips on a cup of what looked like tea. His hair was all disheveled and he was only wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt that had the periodic table on it. 

Keiji looks over to Tetsuro, who was currently flipping a pancake over. “I made breakfast! Er—well, dinner. But it’s still good!” Even Tetsuro’s bedhead was more messy than usual. 

“Where’s Kenma?” Keiji asks as he takes a seat at the island next to Tooru. 

“Sleeping in my room. We came back and found you and Koutaro cuddling on the floor.” Tetsuro chuckles. 

Tooru smiles. “What happened between you two anyways? Your face is all puffy and red.” 

Keiji rubs his eyes, then picks at the pancakes Tetsuro had served him. “He um…He had a breakdown, when we got here.” 

Tetsuro stops his cooking. “Breakdown? What do you mean breakdown?” 

“He started crying really badly. He was going on about how he—he wanted to be left alone and how he just wanted to die already. It was…It was heartbreaking to listen to.” 

Tooru puts his utensils down. “He’s still in his room, right?”

“Yeah. I woke up and he was still there.” 

The other two let out a sigh of relief.

“Why do you ask?” Keiji raises a brow. 

Tetsuro sits down across from them and cuts his pancakes into small pieces. “Well, usually Kou handles his emo-mode in two ways. Either he runs away and doesn’t return for at least a month, or he finally picks himself up and goes back to being himself. Looks like you were able to help him Akaashi.” 

“Kou-chan!” Tooru exclaims. 

“Hey guys…” Koutaro yawns as he takes his own seat next to Tetsuro, who feeds him a piece of his pancake. 

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better Bokuto-san.” 

Koutaro smiles. “Thanks to you Akaashi. I’m sorry again—“

“I told you it was fine. Please stop apologizing.” 

“Right. Sorry.” 

Cue the awkward silence. 

“Nice pancakes.”

“Thanks.” 

It's so silent, they could hear Kenma snoring in the other room. 

“I gave myself some new boundaries.” Koutaro clears his throat. 

“Do tell.” Tooru leans on his fist. 

“No more drugs—“

“Huh!?”

“No drinking—“ 

“Woah, wait a second Kou bro—“

“And I’m gonna start heading to the gym instead of smoking.” 

Tooru and Tetsuro each stare in shock. 

“Oh my god…Am I dreaming?” Tetsuro whispers. 

“It’s like the end of an era…” Tooru whispers back. 

Keiji softy laughs into his hand at this. 

“HEY! I’M NOT JOKING! I’M SERIOUS!!!”

Tetsuro awkwardly press his lips in a line before starting, “Look man, that’s great and all but like—“

“—we don’t know if we’re gonna be of any help since we’re still gonna be getting high and stuff.” Tooru finishes for him. 

“It’s very simple guys,” Koutaro grins. “You are going to join me!” 

More silence until Tetsuro and Tooru both erupt in laughter. 

“Funny joke Kou-chan!”

“Yeah, I almost believed you!” 

Koutaro tilts his head in confusion. 

“You’re not joking…?” 

“I’m not.” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” 

“I’m very happy—no I’m absolutely ECSTATIC that you believe in us and all, but bro. Be realistic.” 

“I am!” 

“Kou-chan, you overestimate our powers of restraint.” 

“I talked to Tendou and Suna-kun! They say that they will no longer be selling to us!” 

Tetsuro falls out of his seat. 

“And I made sure to have Koushi call every store owner we get alcohol from to put up our picture and make sure we don’t drink! I also told Teru, and he said he’d make sure we drink nothing but soda and water at parties!” 

Tooru slams his head onto the counter. 

“And I renewed our gym memberships!” 

Keiji gapes at the two who seemed to have passed out. 

“So we get our fresh start tomorrow! And coach is really mad at us for missing practice but he’s willing to give us a free pass if we mop the floors for a month!” 

Kenma, who was just walking in to eat, drops his phone and begins laughing at Tetsuro, who was beating his head into the floor to rid of himself of any memories of what Koutaro just said. 

“It’s not so bad guys! And besides Kenma and Akaashi will help!” Koutaro turns to Keiji. “Right?”

“Of course.” 

“Maybe we can get a job! Can’t live off of my mother and step-fathers money forever.”

“But Kou-chan, they always give you money anyways! I refuse to work!” 

“While you two are here whining and groaning over this, I have an interview on Thursday! So hopefully I don’t faint in between…” Koutaro mumbles. 

“An interview huh? Where?” Kenma asks as he pokes at a still on the floor Kuroo. 

“Tsukki helped me get one at the cafe!” 

“Kou dude!” Tetsuro gets up with the help of Kenma, who moves the entire group to the living room. After settling down on the carpet with his boyfriend, Tetsuro starts again. “I just don’t know if the food industry is the right place for you man! People are MEAN!” 

Tooru agrees from his spot on the loveseat. He stretches his legs out and sighs in satisfaction. “Kou-chan, think about the endless amount of people who will force you to remake their food! The cafe is not for you. I was thinking we could work somewhere else! For example, a club!” 

Koutaro hums in thought as he sits next to Keiji on the L sofa. “Can I lay down?” he asks the boy, who nods. Koutaro smiles and quietly thanks him as he lays his head in Keiji’s lap. The two stare at each other with small blushes and dopey smiles.

“Bro?” Tetsuro raises a brow. 

Koutaro looks away immediately and turns to the others, who were all smirking. “Sorry um—“ He thinks back to what they were previously talking about. “—I think the cafe would be a good start! Help me be more…outgoing.” 

“I don't know Koutaro...” Kenma offers his input. 

“Not that I don’t support this or anything, but where will you find the time to work a job? You have volleyball, especially now that we have to work even harder since it’s almost the end of the season. And we still have classes and finals before graduation!” Tetsuro throws his hands up. “Bro, again I say, be realistic!” 

“Listen, listen— _ah~_ ” Koutaro lets out a pleasured groan as Keiji’s fingers kneed his scalp. “Look. Yoshimi said something to me during the trip. And before you say anything, Eiichi talked to me after, and we came to an agreement!” 

“Koutaro, I don’t think taking Yoshimi’s advice will help.” Kenma mutters. 

“Listen first Kenma!” Koutaro whines. “If I can just get an offer from a team! Sign myself away for a year! I can drop out and focus on volleyball and my job!” 

No one says a thing. Until Tetsuro sighs. 

“I knew it. I FUCKING knew it. THAT STUPID BASTARD TAMURA! WHEN I FIND HIM I SWEAR I’M GONNA—“

“IT’S NOT TAMURA-KUN’S FAULT! I BLAME THAT STUPID YOSHIMI!” Tooru yells. 

“YOU’RE ONLY DEFENDING EIICHI BECAUSE YOU THINK HE’S HOT!” Bokuto shouts. 

“ _UGH_!! YOU THINK TAMURA’S HOT!?” Tetsuro grimaces in disgust. “YOU’RE EXPECTATIONS ARE SO FUCKING LOW TOORY!” 

“MY NAME’S TOORU! IT’S BEEN YEARS, GET IT RIGHT TESTICLE!” 

“ _TESTICLE!?_ ” 

“TESTICLE!” Koutaro repeat as he laughs. 

“I’M LEAVING!” Tetsuro and Tooru yell as they each go into their own rooms. 

“How annoying…” Kenma massages his head. 

“Bokuto-san, do you think you’re ready for such a job? Even I must say, I don’t think our customers are the best for you to deal with.” 

“What the heck is that supposed to mean!?” 

“Akaashi’s right, Koutaro. I think you should focus on your boundaries first. Then, when you’re ready, we can talk about getting you a job. Although,” Kenma’s lips curl up. “I’m proud of you for being so ambitious.” 

Koutaro smiles. “Thanks Ken.” 

“That said, I think Akaashi and I should head back to the dorms now. Can’t afford to miss anymore classes. We need some sleep.” 

“It’s 6.” 

“Exactly.” 

“Right.” 

“I’ll go say goodbye to Tetsuro and Tooru.” Kenma excuses himself. 

Keiji looks down at Koutaro, who was still staring after Kenma's retreating figure. “Bokuto-san, you still never explained why you were avoiding me.” 

Koutaro exhales a shaky sigh. He pushes away Keiji’s hand and sits up right, to hold Keiji’s hand in his. “My step-father...is a very dangerous man, Akaashi. He’s manipulative and knows how to get inside my head.” 

“Where are you going with this?” 

“Somehow…he was able to convince me that you were holding me back. He said that you were just a distraction. An obstacle.” 

Keiji looks down at his lap. “I see.” 

“He also told me that you made me weak. And because of that…he could never respect me. He labeled me as a disappointment.” 

“Bokuto-san, I have to ask. Why can’t your step-father just hand the company over to his son? Tamura-san?”

“Eiichi…Eiichi tried killing himself when he was 19.”

Keiji’s eyes widen. 

“Yoshimi found out. Then it wasn’t long before the news did too. And because of that, Eiichi’s image was tainted. Yoshimi didn’t want him as the face of the company.”

“That’s where you come in…” 

“I've done a lot of bad things. Many, many bad things. But with each problem, each--each fuck up, Yoshimi was always there to cover it up. Which is why he’s so hellbent on forcing me to take the company.” 

Keiji clenches his jaw. “That’s terrible...” 

“I’m so sorry I pushed you away, Akaashi. You didn’t deserve that.” 

“You don’t need to say sorry. I understand now why you did what you did.” 

“It still doesn’t make it right. So that’s why I am offering something else.” 

“And what’s that?” 

Koutaro grips Keiji’s hands tighter. “Go on a date with me!” 

Keiji’s breath hitches in his throat. 

“I like like you. And I’ve heard that you like like me! And even though I told myself I wouldn’t like like anyone after—Well, the point is, I really like like you and I would also like if you went on a date with me! But if I got the wrong idea then this is just embarrassing, but if you do like like me then please say yes! We’ve known each other long enough and you already know so much about me, I just think that it’s appropriate—“ 

“Yes.” 

“—Especially since we’ve been through a lot already and you had to deal with my breakdowns and panic attacks, and also because Tetsuro and Tooru always yell at me for being a wimp and not asking you out before, but I feel like—“

“Bokuto-san.“

“—now that everything is pretty calm, we can focus more on each other! And I can focus on how much I like like you! Then again, if I got the wrong idea then I am so very sorry. Damn, I keep on finding ways to fuck up. So if the answer is no, then I totally get that and respect that! We could just forget this ever happened and go back to being friends. But if that’s weird too, then I can just transfer to another university and we can forget each other as well! Although, I’d probably be really sad and miss you since I like like you so much, but I respect your decision! Maybe—“

“Bokuto-san!” 

Koutaro snaps out of his rambling immediately. “Huh? What’s up?” 

Keiji laughs. “I would very much like to go on a date with you.” 

“Wha—really!?” 

“Yes!” 

“AHA! I DID IT!” Koutaro jumps around the living room. “I can’t believe it! I’m so happy!”

“I can see that.” Keiji feels his face flush. 

“What happened?” Kenma asks once he walks back into the living room. 

Koutaro looks over at him and grins widely. “AKAASHI AGREED TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME!” 

“Oh. Finally. Now can we get a ride back to the dorms?” 

“Well thanks for the congratulations.” Koutaro mumbles as he takes his phone out to call Hiroshi. 

Once the car arrives, Koutaro spends the car ride talking about how happy he was, and occasionally, Kenma would smirk at Keiji, causing the blue-eyed man to turn a bright red. 

They finally arrive at the dorms, where Hiroshi opens the door for them. Keiji sends Koutaro a gleeful smile over his shoulder as Koutaro promises to call for the plans on their date. 

“Koutaro,” Kenma stops the door from closing. “I’m happy for you. Great job.” 

Koutaro gives a nervous laugh in return, then wishes them both a good evening before having Hiroshi drive him back to the flat. 

“Say Hiroshi!” Koutaro lowers the divider. “Where do you think I should take Akaashi for our date?” 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine with whatever you choose Koutaro.” 

“You think so?” 

“Of course. And Koutaro,” Hiroshi glances at him from the mirror. “I’m proud of you.” 

Koutaro smiles. He’s been smiling a lot today. “Thanks Hiroshi.” He sits back in his seat and sings along to the music blasting through the speakers as he stares out his window, watching the people outside. 

They stop at the red light where Koutaro takes this moment to survey the area. Library in that corner, a convenience store on the other and…and a broken down club? 

“Hey hey, Hiroshi…Park over there…” 

———————————————

“I can’t believe you called me testicle. I’m still angry at you by the way.” 

“Shut up Tetsuro. I’m trying to relax.” 

Koutaro slams the door closed and turns to give Tetsuro and Tooru a view of his frightened face. 

“Dude, what happened? Are you good?”

“Bro…” Koutaro whispers.

“What? Kou-chan, you’re scaring me.”

“…I just bought a club.”

Tetsuro sits up, eyes wide and jaw slack. “What.” 

It doesn’t take long for the three of them to be on the floor, bottles of beer in hand. 

“So about those boundaries…” Koutaro groans. “I may have been too ambitious.” 

“Tell me about it…” Tetsuro burps. 

“When I said we could get a job at a club, I didn’t mean _buying_ one, Kou-chan!” 

“But it was so lonely and sad!” 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” 

“Oh yeah…Iwa called for you while you were out.” Tetsuro nudges Koutaro. 

“Really!? What happened!? Did he say anything!?” 

Tooru doesn’t pay attention. He's too focused on the fact that his best friend bought a _fucking club_. 

“You know how he graduated early?” Tetsuro tells Koutaro. 

“Yeah?”

“He’s coming back to Tokyo.” 

“HAJI IS COMING BACK!?” 

“Yup.” 

“HOLY SHIT—WHERE’S HE GONNA STAY!? MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T STAY IN A HOTEL! MAKE HIM STAY WITH US! UNLESS HE WANTS TO STAY IN A HOTEL, BUT I CAN TOTALLY PAY! OH MY GOD—HE SHOULD’VE TOLD ME SOONER SO WE COULD’VE MADE ARRANGEMENTS FOR HIM!” Koutaro panics. 

“Bro,” Tetsuro laughs. “Calm down. He knew you would say that, so he said, and I quote, ’Thank you for offering, I would love to stay at the flat. I don’t want you paying for any hotel bullshit, and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.’” 

“Iwa-chan is so two-faced,” Tooru grumbles. “He’s always nice to you guys!”

“That’s because Koutaro is his favorite.” 

“I’m a favorite?” 

“Yes.”

“Yeah.” 

“Wow.” Koutaro sits up. “I should go get his room ready. Do you think there’s someone I can call to fix it up?” 

“We’ll help you. Especially since you hate leaving it all to other people.You always end up complaining about how they didn't do it right.” Tetsuro puts his bottle of beer down and gets up, then offers Koutaro a hand and helps him up as well. 

“You know me well bro.” 

“It’s ‘cause I love you, bro.” 

“Bro, you’re making it sus.” 

“It has always been sus, bro.” Tetsuro winks. 

“Oh my god, stop it!” Tooru covers his eyes. “Go away you two. You’re all weirding me out.”

“Hey hey, Toory! Can you ask Haji if he still likes godzilla and all that? I have an awesome idea for his room!” 

“Yes yes, I will. Now go take your ‘bro’ to clean up Iwa-chan’s room.” 

“Yes sir!” 

The two push each other to the side in an attempt at getting to Hajime’s room before the other. When they get there, they fall to the ground and groan in pain. 

“Dude…” Koutaro clutches his crotch. “Y-Your knee…”

“Don’t even start with me! You either have a fucking dick cover or you’re horny! I really hope it’s the first one, but if it’s the second, I don’t even wanna know why you—YOU WEIRDO! MY KNEE HURTS!” 

“YOU PROBABLY KILLED OFF ALL MY CHANCES OF HAVING BABIES!”

“But bro,” Tetsuro says with a strained voice. “You’re gay. How will you have babies?” 

“If I believe it’s possible, it is Tetsu! You have to believe in me too!” 

“Alright, alright.” Tetsuro stands up. “I believe in you bro. Go have Akaashi babies.” 

“H-HEY!” 

“Kidding.” 

“Hey Tetsu,” Koutaro pulls himself up, “What did you and Tsukki talk about anyways? I never got to ask.” 

Tetsuro pulls the blankets off the bed and throws them at the door way to wash later. “He helped me fight for Kenma.” 

“Storytime?” 

Tetsuro chuckles a bit at Koutaro’s innocent demeanor. “Of course.” 

———————————————

_“Kenma-san will not be angry. Or well, maybe he will be but—“_

_“Tsukki, you’re not helping.”_

_Kei scowls. “I don’t like helping people. Especially ones that wander into the cafe and delay me from seeing my boyfriend.”_

_“Tsukki dude…please…I don’t know what to do…” Tetsuro whispers._

_Kei furrows his eyebrows. “Fight for him,” he demands. “He fought for you.”_

_“But what if he doesn’t want to keep going anymore?”_

_“Then that’s what Kenma-san wants. None of this is his fault. So whatever he chooses, you need to respect that.”_

_“He’ll want to break up with me! I-I don’t want that!”_

_“It doesn’t matter what you want in this situation, Kuroo-san. What does matter is that you take responsibility for what you did.”_

_Tetsuro can’t help the hot tears rolling down his cheeks, just at the thought of losing Kenma. All Kei can do is watch. He didn’t like helping people after all. But this is Tetsuro. One of his first friends and the man who helped him be better. Now was the time for paying him back for all Tetsuro did for him._

_“Do what we never did.” Kei starts. “What you’re doing now with Kenma-san is toxic. Bokuto-san has told you and so has Oikawa. But you are so incredibly ignorant, excuse me for saying it.”_

_Tetsuro is taken aback by the sudden words. He stays silent._

_“You always have to be right. You always pay attention to how you feel in relationships and never to what the other person feels. You’re selfish. And it’s tearing you and Kenma-san apart.”_

_Tetsuro looks down at his lap. He still can’t talk._

_“That’s how you were in our relationship. And forgive me if I’m crossing the line with this, but you being selfish and ignorant is the very reason we broke up.”_

_Tetsuro’s mouth opens for a retort, but Kei shakes his head to stop him from speaking._

_“Kenma-san’s probably hurting more than you are. Give him time to process all this. It’s going to be a lot, but Kenma-san is strong. He can handle it. He loves you and you love him. Show him you love him. As I said before, if he can’t be with you anymore, then respect that. But until then, fight for him.”_

_Tetsuro nods. He wipes his tears away and stands up. “Thanks Tsukki. I really needed that.”_

_“Yeah yeah. Now go get Kenma-san back.”_

———————————————

“That’s why you and Kenma are good now?” Koutaro asks. 

Tetsuro nods in response. “I’m just really happy he’s giving me a second chance. I don’t want to fuck it up, y’know?” 

“I’m proud Tetsu. You guys belong together.” Koutaro grabs the pillows cases and points at the blankets on the floor. “Now help me bring these to the washers.” 

“Of course bro.”

They head out with arms full of the fabrics and pass by Tooru, who ends up helping them put it into the machines. 

“You two need to learn how to do your own laundry! I am sick of having to wash your boxers! Especially the ones with the owls and cats on them!” Tooru huffs as soon as they return to the kitchen. 

“Come on Toory! We already had this sorted out!” Koutaro stomps his feet. “Tetsu brooms, mops, and cleans the living room and kitchen, while I cook and clean the bathrooms. You wash the laundry, fold them, and put them in our rooms! You get the least work done!” 

“Yeah Toory! Do you know how hard it is to clean the living room when there are alien plushies everywhere!?” 

Tooru crosses his arms and blows a raspberry at them, that results in Tetsuro tackling him to the carpet. Koutaro laughs out loud and jumps onto then, only causing an all out wrestling match to break out between the three. 

“WE SAID THE HAIR WAS OFF LIMITS!” Tetsuro smacks Koutaro’s thigh, causing the latter to yelp. 

“MY VOLLEYBALL SHORTS WON’T BE ABLE TO COVER THE HANDPRINT! AND TOORY! I SAW YOU SLAP MY ASS!” Koutaro decides to get revenge by slapping Tooru’s ass, then does a double-take as he stares at his hand. “WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY IS IT ROCK SOLID!?”

Tooru gasps in shock. “HOW COULD YOU KOU-CHAN! YOU KNOW I’M SELF-CONSCIOUS!” 

“What the fuck.” A rough voice sighs at the door. 

The three on the floor—they were really just a mess of tangled limbs—all look up. 

Koutaro lets out an ecstatic shout. “HAJI!”

Tetsuro smiles. “Welcome back!” 

Tooru waves from under Koutaro’s shirt. “IWA-CHAN!” 

“I knew coming back a week early would be a mistake.” said man sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okok now i know that bokuto asking akaashi out on a date in this chapter was a bit quickly, especially since they just had a mental breakdown the night before. that was definitely what i was going for haha. in later chapters, when we see the ups and downs of their relationship, this vvv important fact will be brought up again!!
> 
> anyways, now that i've finally brought in iwaizumi, i'm so ready to bring in the iwaoi drama hehe. 
> 
> Next Time: Aster


	19. Aster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe you bought a fucking club.” Hajime shakes his head.
> 
> “Hey, wasn’t this the same seat you saved me in!?” Koushi laughs as he sits down on one of the stools. 
> 
> “I still can’t believe you were here at 16.” Tetsuro mumbles. 
> 
> “You…You were in love with someone?” Tooru walks up to Koutaro.
> 
> or: 
> 
> Koutaro reveals a part of his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: MAJOR DESCRIPTION OF UNDERAGE DRINKING!!

“Date huh? When are you two going?” Kenma asks as he goes over his nails with some clear nail polish. 

“He said he would text me with the time and date, but he hasn’t mentioned it once.” Keiji answers. “Has he said anything to you?” 

“We haven’t talked since yesterday when he dropped us off here. Tooru and Tetsuro are being very mysterious too, so I think something’s up with them.”

“I don’t even know what to wear…”

“Just put some jeans on. Ever since Koutaro’s found out about casual clothes, he hasn’t stopped wearing them.”

Keiji falls back onto his bed. “Kenma…” 

“Hm?”

“I’ve never been on a date.” 

Kenma’s jaw drops. “W-What? You!?”

“Don’t make it sound like such a surprise! You know that the only romantic relationship I’ve had was in my second-year! And it didn’t even last a month!” 

“It can’t be that hard. You and Koutaro have known each other for a while now. Just…act normal…I guess?” 

“You are no help at all.” 

“Wasn’t trying to be.” 

“Besides,” Keiji holds his hands out so that Kenma can paint over them too. “Not even Kuroo-san has texted you?”

“Just his usual good morning text.” 

“That’s it? You’re not…scared?”

“They’re all probably just doing some stupid shit.” 

“Hm. Well if you’re not worried…”

“I’m not.” 

“I have a bad feeling.” 

“Don’t you always when they’re together?” 

“They’re going to do something stupid…I can feel it.” 

———————————————

“Koutaro, you didn’t need to send them for furniture. I’ll only be staying for a week or two anyway.” Hajime sighs as he follows the man down the hall. 

“Nonsense Haji! If you’re gonna be staying with me, then I need to make sure you have the best damn experience!” 

“Koutaro—“

“Now, do you still like Godzilla?” 

Hajime lets out an embarrassed groan. “Don’t be so loud about it…” 

“I’ll take that as a yes! Anyways Haji, what have you been up to? From what I hear, you were at the top of your class?” 

“Yeah, I’m taking a break from college now and I’ll probably start looking for a job soon. Maybe at a club…” 

Koutaro looks nervous. “Haha yeah, at a club maybe.” 

Hajime raises a brow but doesn’t ask. “How were things with Yoshimi and Kuroo? I heard there was a rough patch.”

Koutaro hums. “Kenma and Tetsu broke up but then got back together. I don’t really get most of it but at least they’re happy now! And…And Yoshimi…he’s…you know how he is.”

“And you broke a window because of it?” 

Koutaro chuckles. “I was mad. He just kept trying to convince me that I was weak and I mean…It’s like—Ugh this is so hard to explain!” 

“Take your time.” 

Koutaro sits down on the guest bed in Hajime’s soon-to-be room. “I’ve always known I was weak. I know it already but this was my breaking point. I mean, things with Tetsu and Ken were hard enough, but then I had to go visit Yoshimi! It was too much…” 

Hajime sits down next to him. “You’re not weak,” is all he says. 

“Haji…” Koutaro sighs. 

“How many times will we have to have _‘The Talk’_?” Hajime rubs his temples. 

“No more times hopefully.” 

“But you never seem to understand man…”

Koutaro stays silent. 

“You were such a quiet kid back then. Hated people and talking. If memory serves, you even tried hiding behind Kuroo whenever there were people around.” 

Koutaro laughs. “You sound like an old grandpa.” 

“OI!” 

“AHH!” 

Hajime shakes his head and stares at the floor. “I didn’t get to catch up with you guys at your birthday party.” 

“Well, you’re here now Haji.” 

“Yeah…I guess so.” 

As Koutaro began to explain his plan for the room, Hajime simply nodded along. He was too caught up on how much he missed while he was away. 

Had all his friends moved on without him? Was he getting left behind? Past insecurities were all rushing back to him as he realizes that he had left their lives, then just—came back. Like nothing happened. 

What had happened to Koutaro? Was he doing better with people now? Does he still have his scars? What about Tetsuro? What happened between him and Kenma? Is Kenma doing better with communicating his feelings? 

And….And Tooru. Hajime had the most questions for him. Was Tooru still hung over Koutaro? Or did Tooru move on? 

“Haji?” Koutaro nudges him lightly. “You okay?” 

Hajime smiles. “Yeah just…just reminiscing.” 

“Rem—What now? What the heck does that mean?”

“Old memories, Koutaro.” 

“Oh! I like doing that too! Like when we first met!” 

Hajime rubs the nape of his neck in thought. “I like remembering that too,” he says.

———————————————

_“He should be in here…” Hajime whispers to himself as he stands in front of the restroom._

_Well. Here goes nothing._

_He slams the door open, scaring the man leaning over the counter._

_“SHIT-FACE!”_

_“AHHHH!” Tooru screams. “IWA-CHAN DON’T DO THAT! YOU KNOW I GET NIGHTMARES!”_

_“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE FITEEN MINUTES BEFORE THE GAME!?”_

_“Oh Iwa-chan!” Tooru whines. “I saw the most beautiful man in the world and as I was watching him, I walked into a door and got a bloody nose!”_

_“Beautiful boy—HUH!?”_

_Hajime ignores the sting in his chest as he repeats those words._

_“I KNOW IWA-CHAN!! IT’S EMBARRASSING!”_

_Hajime rolls his eyes. He walks up to Tooru and forces his face to look at him._

_“Kinky Iwa-chan~”_

_“Shut up! I’m trying to look at your nose!” Shaking his head, he examines the redness. “It’ll definitely leave a bruise…” he murmurs._

_“Eh!?”_

_Hajime scoffs. He lets go of Tooru’s face and walks towards the door._

_“IWA-CHAN!? YOU’RE JUST GONNA LEAVE!?”_

_Hajime doesn’t look at him. “I’m just going to get ice! Stay here…idiot.”_

_Stifling a smile at Tooru’s gleeful cheer, Hajime hastily rushes to grab an ice pack from the cooler, quickly explains the situation to his coach, and runs back to the bathroom._

_“Here.” he hands it to Tooru, who thanks him and returns to staring at himself in the mirror._

_“So uh—“ Hajime awkwardly attempts to get more information about the boy Tooru was previously talking about. “—who’s the guy you were looking at?”_

_Tooru doesn’t even notice Hajime’s shaky voice. “He’s from the opponent team! And although I always told myself I would never date someone from an opposing team, he was just too beautiful Iwa-chan!”_

_“What’s his name?”_

_“I don’t know his first name, but his last name is Bokuto! His hair Iwa-chan, his hair! It was so weird but he made it look SO good!!”_

_Hajime clears his throat. “Um—We should start heading to the court now…shit-face.” he adds on at the end._

_“Okay okay, thank god I stole my sister’s concealer! I knew I would need it! Does it work?”_

_Hajime shrugs as Tooru turns to him. “It hides your eye bags pretty well, so I guess it does.”_

_“M-MY EYE BAGS!?”_

_As the game between Fukurodani and Seijoh went on, all Tooru could focus on was flirting with the number 12—Bokuto—or trying to show off._

_How annoying._

_“Iwa-chan!” Tooru calls._

_Hajime spikes the ball at Bokuto (it definitely wasn’t out of jealousy) only for Fukurodani’s libero to pick it up._

_“Konoha-kun!”_

_“Got it!” Akinori positions himself under the ball. Koutaro seemed in good shape, despite playing against a new team. So he goes for the toss Koutaro loves. “Bokuto!”_

_Koutaro smiles. Doing his three-step approach, he soars above the blockers and brings his whip-like arm to slam the ball on Seijoh’s side of the court, delivering a close-to-the-net cross-shot._

_“Konoha!!! Your toss was so good!! It’s like it was floating and then all I had to do was go ‘WABAM!’ and then I totally scared away the blockers!!!” Koutaro exclaims._

_“Heh. I guess my toss was pretty good wasn’t it?” Akinori sheepishly grins. “WAIT NO! I WON’T ALLOW MYSELF TO ACCEPT YOUR COMPLIMENTS YOU—YOU KISS ASS!”_

_“BUT I MEAN IT!” Koutaro whines._

_“Just take the compliment Konoha.” Haruki rolls his eyes._

_Tooru watches with shining eyes. “Uh—BOKUTO-KUN!” he yells._

_Koutaro turns to him. He widens his eyes and robotically scampers behind Akinori, who chuckles._

_“Come on Bokuto! Just play nice!” Akinori tries to get Koutaro to move._

_Tooru walks under the net and offers a hand to the Fukurodani team, who in return, smile and offer a chorus of ‘Good game!’._

_“Konoha Akinori. It was nice playing your team.” Akinori introduces himself._

_Koutaro stares at Tooru. “Um…my name’s Bokuto. Bokuto…Koutaro.” he finishes. When Tooru doesn’t say anything and simply continues staring, Koutaro’s shoulders begin to slump as he slowly moves to get behind Akinori again._

_“I’m sorry.” Tooru apologizes as he snaps out of his trance. “I just—I never thought I’d meet someone who could possibly be more beautiful than me!”_

_Hajime rolls his eyes from his place next to Tooru. Why does his chest feel so tight?_

_“Say Bo-chan, how about we practice your spikes? Iwa-chan and your friends can join us!” Tooru offers._

_Koutaro looks towards Akinori with pleading eyes._

_Akinori sighs. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this…” he mumbles. “Fine.”_

_And after some rounds of spikes and tosses, they all decided to call it a day and exchange numbers._

_“Thanks Konoha-kun!” Koutaro smiles. “Sorry I kept you here so late though!”_

_Akinori limps towards the exit where he gives a strained grin. “It-It was nothin’! I-I’ll see ya tomorrow Bokuto. You’ll lead them to the dorms right?”_

_“Oh! Yeah I can do it!”_

_Koutaro leads Tooru and Hajime towards Fukurodani’s dormitory, which was kept in case practice camps were held at their school. In this case, Seijoh was staying in the dorms this time._

_“I need to use the restroom really quickly! Wait here for me Bo-chan!” Tooru says as he quickly runs to the bathroom._

_Koutaro awkwardly presses his lips in a firm line as he and Hajime wait outside._

_“Um, I know it’s not really my place to say anything…but…you like Oika-chan, right?” Koutaro speaks up._

_Hajime is taken aback. “What!? Of course not!”_

_Koutaro shrinks into himself more. “S-Sorry.”_

_Hajime feels bad immediately. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Habit.”_

_Koutaro nods and looks away._

_“Is it that noticeable?”_

_Koutaro shakes his head. “Not really…just to the people who really pay attention.”_

_Hajime snorts at this._

_“You should tell him.”_

_Hajime leans against the wall. “He likes someone else. There’s no point.”_

_“I like someone too. Well…I love them still.” Koutaro fumbles with the hem of his shirt. “His name is…His name is Nakaya. And when I noticed I was in love with him, it was one of the scariest moments of my life. But all I could think of was telling him.”_

_“You’re in love with someone?”_

_“Yeah um…When I did tell Nakaya that I loved him, it made all the bad feel like a joke. And when he said he was in love with me too, I think I almost cried. Or well…Maybe I did. It was three years ago, so I don’t remember it much.”_

_“Three years ago…Wow…Are you two still together?”_

_Koutaro bites his lip. “Unfortunately, he had to move away. Neither of us could handle long-distance so…we were forced to break it off.”_

_“I’m sorry about that.”_

_“It’s okay,” Koutaro gives a sad smile. “And if I could do it all over again, I would.”_

_“But what if he doesn’t like me back? What if he ends up dating that person anyways...or something?”_

_Koutaro thinks for a while. “You don’t know if that’ll happen though. You have to decide what’s more important to you: Giving up and getting nothing at all, or fighting for him and maybe…maybe having everything.”_

_“Hey!” Tooru exclaims. “I’m done! Lead us away Bo-chan!”_

_Koutaro nods. “Okay. You coming Iwaizumi?”_

_“Yeah uh—Yeah I’m following you guys.”_

———————————————

“Hey Koutaro?”

“Hm?” 

“Do you still love that one guy? Uhh, Nakaya?”

Koutaro smiles to himself. “Well duh! But not romantically anymore! That’s the past! But he’s still in my heart!” 

“You’re so sappy…”

“Rude! Anyways Haji, I have to go drown myself in my closet! I need to find some clothes for a date I’m going on!” 

“A date?” Hajime perks up. “With who?” 

“Oh! A-A friend!” 

All Hajime’s mind could conjure up was that this mystery person could be Tooru!

“Uh, what’s he like?”

“How do you know it’s a guy?” 

“Instinct?” 

“That’s so cool!” Koutaro gives a nervous smile. “Well, he was a setter in high school.” 

Shit.

“And he really likes coffee. Sometimes I’m scared he’ll kill me if he doesn’t get his morning espresso.” 

Seriously?

“He wears glasses sometimes too.” 

Oh my god. 

“And he has really good grades! He even helps me with my math!” 

Hajime’s jaw drops. 

“Yeah, and he really likes watching documentaries with me, even if we have to pause it like every 30 minutes.” 

Hajime’s eyebrows furrow. Tooru likes documentaries? Since when!? 

“He’s super pretty. He like likes me too!” 

Hajime refuses to look Koutaro in the eye. “That’s cool man. I’m happy for you.” Hajime does his best to keep his voice steady. 

“We’re home!” Tetsuro calls from the front door. “HELLOOOO!?” 

“I’M GOING!” Koutaro shouts as he runs out of the room and into the living room. 

Hajime sighs and follows him out, to see Tetsuro carrying all the bags while Tooru only held a coffee in his. 

“Tooru decided to be a lazy _ass_ and make me carry all the bags!” 

“You’re just mad I didn’t buy you any coffee.” 

“I AM MAD 'CAUSE OF THAT TOO YOU ASSHOLE!” 

Tooru rolls his eyes. “Okay, Kou-chan, we have to start doing something about that club you bought!” he suggests, not even noticing Hajime. 

“Uh, Toory—“ Tetsuro tries to stop him. 

“We need to find an aesthetic, some workers, _AND_ we need to have an opening! So much work! And a liquor license!” 

“Tooru—!” Koutaro widens his eyes. 

“Maybe we could even ask Eiichi for some help. You think he’d—“ Tooru stops when he sees Hajime in front of him, mouth turned into a scowl and eye twitching. 

“I’m here!!!” Koushi sings as he enters the flat with his own coffee. “I heard ya bought a club, so I came to help with ideas—“ Koushi freezes as Hajime turns to him. 

“Repeat that.” Hajime demands. 

“Um…” 

———————————————

“I don’t know…” Keiji mumbles as he and Kei walk to their class together. “It just…feels off.” 

“I think you’re just imagining it.” 

“I swear though. They’ve been too quiet. I think something’s up.” 

“Well whatever it is, I want no part.” 

Keiji sighs. “I just don’t think we should leave them alone together.” 

“Akaashi-san, they _live_ together.” 

“Yeah I know, it’s just—“ Keiji holds his tote bag tighter. “—There’s this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.” 

“I saw Bokuto-san today in one of our classes, with Oikawa. They seemed normal enough.” 

“Don’t use the word ‘normal’ in a sentence with Bokuto-san.” 

“You’re right. It’s a sin.” 

“You must do penance.” 

“I’ll endure one of your love talks about Bokuto-san as my punishment.” 

“Oh, how difficult it must be for you. Now, let me begin with his biceps.” 

———————————————

“You bought a CLUB!?” Hajime yells. 

Koutaro yelps and hides behind a trembling Tetsuro. 

“L-Look Iwa, w-we didn’t even know! I swear!” Tetsuro holds his hands up. 

“Yeah Iwa-chan! K-Kou-chan just c-came and told us!” Tooru holds onto Koutaro’s arm. 

“I-I just got here!” Koushi scampers over to the couch. 

“Koutaro…” Hajime growls.

“AH!” Koutaro jumps up. “I-It wasn’t on purpose! I-It just—it looked so s-sad!” 

“SAD!?”

“AHHH!” the four others scream. 

“H-Haji! C-Come on!” Koutaro nervously says. “Y-You should be h-happy!” 

Hajime crosses his arms. “You didn’t buy it because you were sad.” 

“I-I did!” 

Hajime narrows his eyes and leans in closer to Koutaro’s face. 

“JEEZ OKAY!” Koutaro looks down at the floor. “It was the same club I met Koushi in.” 

The others stare at Bokuto in shock. 

Koushi stands up. “For—For real?” 

“You met Koushi…in a club?” Tetsuro repeats. 

“Weren’t you guys like sixteen when you met? In other words, UNDERAGE!!??” Tooru shrieks. 

“In my defense, I was having a hard time.” Bokuto defends himself. 

Hajime rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe it.” 

“I can. This guy had like no rules growing up.” Tetsuro pets Koutaro’s head. 

“That was so long ago…” Koushi whispers. 

“I’m going to my room. I think I’ve had all the friendship time I can handle today. Bye Iwa-chan!!!” Tooru winks, then screams as he runs to his room when Hajime threatens to throw his slipper at the boy. 

“OH! WAIT UP TOORU! I NEED SOME IDEAS FOR THE DATEE!!!” Koutaro yells as he follows Tooru. 

“I FORGOT TO ASK YOU GUYS ABOUT THAT!! WAIT FOR ME!” Koushi goes after them. 

Ah, the date. Hajime feels his stomach churn just remembering it. 

“He’s so much trouble…” Tetsuro rubs his temples as he sits down on the couch. 

Hajime turns to him. Tetsuro!! Of course!! He should know about Koutaro and Tooru’s date!! 

Tetsuro raises a brow. “Dude?” he asks. 

Hajime snaps out of his thoughts. “Huh?” 

“You’re uh…You’re doing that thing where you look all mean and grumpy at people.” 

“I’M NOT GRUMPY!” 

“GAAH OKAY! NOT GRUMPY!!” Tetsuro backs away in his seat. He awkwardly pats the space next to him, offering Hajime to sit with him. 

“Thank you.” Hajime mutters as he sits down. “I need help,” he says. 

Tetsuro’s a bit shocked. “On what? Finding a job?” He chuckles a bit. “Just ask Koutaro to hook you up with his club, haha.” 

“Not that.” 

“About what? Talk to Kuroo, buddy.” 

Hajime thinks for a bit. It’s not like he can just ask if Koutaro and Tooru were going on a date. It would be too…revealing.

“Uh, I heard about Koutaro’s date. Do you guys know him?” 

Tetsuro laughs. “Ahhh, yeah we all do. He’s a good guy though. Looks out for Kou.”

“Do I know him?” 

“You should,” Tetsuro laughs again. “Anyways, why don’t we go visit Koutaro’s club? See if we can bring it back and make some money?” 

Hajime clenches his jaw. “Yeah sure.” 

Koushi comes back into the living room with an exasperated smile. “I can’t keep up with them,” he sighs. 

“Hey Koushi, how did you and Kou meet anyway?” Tetsuro asks. 

“Ah, I don’t think I should be the one telling the story. Koutaro’s better at that than I am. Besides, I never did get to hear why he was in that club in the first place.” 

Tetsuro shrugs. “Alright. Koutarooo!” he calls.

Said boy comes back in with Tooru by his side, the two wearing large smiles on their face. 

Hajime’s stomach churns at this. 

“Yeah?” Koutaro asks. “What happened?” 

“Come, come.” Koushi beckons him. “Is Hiroshi available right now?”

“You know Hiroshi is available anytime.” 

“Call him and ask if he can take us to the club you bought.” 

“Oh, sure.” Koutaro does as told, meanwhile Tetsuro and Tooru both whisper about the club. “He should be outside. He said he was waiting the whole time.” Koutaro moves to grab his coat off the counter. 

Hajime looks creeped out. “What the fuck? Does he just know when we’re gonna need him?” 

“Funny thing actually, he knew how you guys would react and just waited.” 

“Are we that predictable?” Koushi murmurs over to Tooru as they walk outside and into the waiting limo. 

“He’s known us for years. I’m not even surprised.”

As soon as they’re all seated, Koutaro gives the instructions to Hiroshi, then sits back in his seat next to Tooru. When he notices they were all staring at him, he raises a brow. “What?” he asks. 

“Nothing bro. We just want you to tell us how you met Koushi! Give us some background man!” 

“He’s right Kou-chan! Don’t leave us hanging!” 

Koutaro looks to Koushi. “You sure you’re okay with me tellin’ them?” 

Koushi nods. “I wanna hear why you were there in the first place.” 

Hajime hums in agreement.

Koutaro exhales out and rubs his temples. “Hmm…Well, it was pretty long ago. Just try to pay attention to the details.” 

They all lean forward with sparks in their eyes. 

“Go Kou-chan! Tell us!” 

Koutaro chuckles. “Okay, okay. I was sixteen at the time.” 

“KOU-CHAN!” Tooru shrieks. “YOU WERE WAY BELOW THE AGE REQUIREMENT! HOW’D YOU EVEN GET IN!?” 

“LET HIM FINISH OIKAWA!!” Hajime scolds. 

———————————————

_“Hey ‘kaya?” Koutaro whispers. “Do you think we’ll get married one day?”_

_Hayato Nakaya looks over to his boyfriend and smiles. “One day, ‘taro.”_

_Koutaro is satisfied with that answer._

_“I have to get home soon, you know.” Nakaya sits upon the grass. “Homework and my parents. They won’t like that I haven’t been home in days.”_

_“I know but…” Koutaro puffs out his lower lip. “…you said they didn’t care, as long as you called.”_

_“But I should go and check in on them too. They are my parents after all. No matter how shitty they are.”_

_“I guess.”_

_“Don’t worry ’taro. We can hang out again tomorrow. Or you can come over and we can bake.”_

_“Sure.”_

_Nakaya sighs. He gets up, dusts off the dirt from himself, and offers a hand to Koutaro. Koutaro takes it and gets up as well. The two walk back to Nakaya’s home, talking about what they’d do in the following days and where they’d go._

_“See you tomorrow?” Nakaya wraps his arms around Koutaro’s neck in a hug._

_Koutaro smiles and hugs him back. “I’ll see.”_

_Then it’s goodbye for the two boyfriends. Koutaro makes sure Nakaya gets inside and locks the door before putting his hands in his pockets and walking off to his own home, which was just two blocks away._

_He should probably grab some baking stuff for tomorrow if Nakaya wanted to bake. Koutaro doesn’t like cake though, so he’d have to make something else. Maybe some weed brownies?_

_Koutaro opens the door to his home and gently closes it behind him._

_Check the top lock two times. Then the middle and bottom lock four times. He rattles the doorknob ten times and makes sure it’s all locked once more before turning around._

_No scent of food cooking at the stove. No TV playing in the living room. Just silence. And loneliness._

_“Ah, you’re back,” Yoshimi steps out of his study holding a stack of papers. He flips through them and hands a packet to Koutaro, who looks over it curiously. “Your mother is sleeping. You know how that woman is.”_

_Koutaro bites the inside of his cheek and says nothing._

_“There’s your plane ticket and other papers you need to go over as company shareholder.”_

_“Plane ticket?” Koutaro asks. “Where are we going?”_

_“We’ll be leaving for Tokyo tomorrow. Make sure to prepare all your stuff and be ready by 7 AM.”_

_“For what?”_

_“Business.”_

_Koutaro tucks his hands behind his back. “Fancy suit?”_

_“Yes…” Yoshimi mutters. “Your ‘fancy suit’.”_

_“You need to call my school and tell them that I’ll be absent.”_

_“Yes, that’s on my planner.”_

_Koutaro sighs and removes his gloves. “I’ll have to tell Nakaya then…” he murmurs._

_“Do as you wish Koutaro.”_

_Koutaro raises a brow. Yoshimi was using that voice again. The one where he’s trying to cause unnecessary drama again. “What was that?” he decides to say._

_Yoshimi smirks as his eyes scan over the papers in his hand. “Oh…nothing. Go get your luggage ready.”_

_“What do you know about Nakaya that I don’t, Yoshimi?”_

_“Nothing, just…You might want to ask Nakaya-kun what he was doing yesterday night…or who he was doing.”_

_Koutaro clenches his fists. “Are you implying that Nakaya is cheating on me?”_

_“Who? Me?” Yoshimi looks up with the corners of his lips pulled up. “I wouldn’t want to hurt your precious relationship. I’m simply looking out for my step-son.”_

_Koutaro glares. “I don’t believe you.”_

_“Ask him yourself,” Yoshimi says before heading back into his study._

_Koutaro looks down at his plane ticket and papers._

_Maybe a trip to Tokyo wouldn’t be so bad right now…_

_———————————————_

_“Promise you’ll call while you’re there?” Nakaya wraps his arms around Koutaro’s neck. “I’m really gonna miss huggin' you.”_

_Koutaro gently pushes Nakaya away and clears his throat. “I’m probably going to be busy modeling for the clothes. But I’ll uh—I’ll do my best.” He puts on a small smile for his boyfriend and takes a few steps back._

_Nakaya—shocked he was pushed away—stares at Koutaro with suspicious eyes. “Did I do something?” he asks._

_Koutaro looks away. “No. Of course not.” He awkwardly pats Nakaya’s shoulders and nervously laughs. “I’ll call you when I land.”_

_Nakaya looks down at his feet and nods. “‘Taro…” he whispers. “You can tell me anything, you know.”_

_“…Where were you on Friday? When I invited you to family dinner?”_

_Nakaya gulps. “I was over at a friend’s house.”_

_Koutaro feels his heart race. “Which friend?”_

_“Takemi’s.”_

_Koutaro clenches his jaw. He steps back and grabs his luggage. “Oh,” he mutters. “Of course.”_

_Nakaya narrows his eyes. “Why do you ask?”_

_“No reason.” Koutaro fake laughs, knowing Nakaya can tell. “No reason at all Hayato.”_

_“Hayato? Seriously?”_

_“It is your name isn’t it?”_

_“Fine. I’ll see you in two weeks Bokuto.”_

_Koutaro gives a petty smile and turns around, taking his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and texting Takemi, asking if Nakaya was truly over at his house._

_Nakaya wasn’t._

_Koutaro exhales out his nose._

_Nakaya lied to him._

_———————————————_

_“Bokuto-san,” Koutaro’s make-up artist laughs. “Have you been trying to do your eyeliner by yourself?”_

_Koutaro looks away from the woman. “Y-Yeah…”_

_“You want me to teach you how to do it?”_

_Koutaro’s eyes brighten. “Yes please!”_

_And so he spends the next few minutes getting tips on how to get his eyeliner to look sharper, while also giving it a messy look._

_“You did great Bokuto-san! It looks fantastic now!”_

_Koutaro cheers as he looks at his new eyeliner technique. “I did it! Where’s Eiichi! I wanna show him!!”_

_“He should be in the next room.”_

_Koutaro runs out of his dressing room and into Eiichi’s, where he scares the boy._

_“GAAH! KOUTARO DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!”_

_“BUT EIICHI! LOOK! I DID MY OWN EYELINER!”_

_“UWAAAH! IT LOOKS SO GOOD!”_

_“Eiichi, Koutaro.” Yoshimi opens the door. “What are you two yelling about? Get changed already!”_

_Eiichi and Koutaro both lower their heads._

_“Yes father.”_

_“Yes Yoshimi.”_

_Once Yoshimi leaves, Eiichi turns to Koutaro. “Dude. What’s up with you though? You seem a bit…off…”_

_Koutaro sits down and sighs. “I think…I think Nakaya is cheating on me.”_

_“What!?”_

_“Yeah…he said he was at a friend’s house, but when I call that friend, he said Nakaya hadn’t even talked to him that day.”_

_Eiichi sits down next to his step-brother. “Wow…What a dick…”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Hey man, why don’t we go out for drinks tonight? It’s here in Tokyo, so we can have Hiroshi drop us off a block away from it, then come back here before they notice.”_

_“We’re underage though. How're we gonna get past everyone?”_

_“Dad owns the place. Besides, I’ve been there a bunch of times. They won’t snitch ‘cause they know I’ll tell dad. And then it’s bye-bye job for them. And we could use a break from flashy cameras and stuff!”_

_Koutaro sighs. “That sounds good then.”_

_“After the shoot, we’ll go, yeah?”_

_“Yeah…sure.”_

_———————————————_

_He swore he wouldn’t finish the whole bottle in one night. He promised._

_But alas, Koutaro had broken his promise._

_He watched as the silver-haired boy from the bar kept ordering drinks._

_Another minor being served, almost as if no one cared._

_No one really did care, did they?_

_How was the guy even there?_

_Koutaro thought that Eiichi and him were the only underage boys being served there._

_Fuckin liar._

_“Look man, just leave me alone.”_

_Koutaro looks over at the boy curiously, who was trying to shoo away some pedophile._

_Weirdo._

_Koutaro keeps to himself, just taking a sip from his drink and occasionally texting Eiichi who had drunkenly walked out to ‘go pet the dogs on the streets’._

_“Leave me alone!” the boy raises his voice._

_No one helps._

_Koutaro hunches over his table a bit more and stares at his drink._

_‘Don’t get involved,’ he thinks to himself. ‘Don’t get involved…It’s none of your business.’_

_The boy looks scared. He’s around the same age as Koutaro, but Koutaro does nothing._

_It’s not his problem anyways._

_“I said stop!”_

_Koutaro looks up._

_The older man was grabbing onto the other boy’s arm._

_Koutaro watches._

_‘Just in case.’ he reminds himself._

_“Please, stop!”_

_“Dammit…” Koutaro whispers. He sets his drink down._

_His hands are getting clammy. His breath shakes and he glances between the floor and the two other males he begins to approach._

_Koutaro has been to meetings. He’s sat in a room with CEOs and investors. He’s presented business ideas and even rejected others._

_So he’s sure he can at least do this._

_“Look,” Koutaro sets his hand down in front of the older man. “The guy said to leave him alone.”_

_‘That’s it…business voice Koutaro…like always…’ Koutaro reassures himself. ‘Just like in the board rooms. Just like when Yoshimi forces me to fire someone. It’s like always.’_

_“Oh yeah? And who are you exactly?”_

_Can’t the man just back off?_

_“My boyfriend!” the boy with the mole declares._

_Koutaro forces away the blush. Now was definitely not the time._

_“You’re making a mistake.” Koutaro holds an arm out between him and the man. “Back off.”_

_“Come on…” the man smirks. “Don’t act like I can’t beat both your asses—“_

_The silver-haired boy punches him._

_Yep._

_It was bound to happen anyways._

_Which is how he and the boy from earlier got stuck inside a jail cell._

_“Brawling in public!” the boy scoffs. “Amazing! I am so going to get suspended…”_

_Koutaro keeps his head down. His fist was all bandaged up now and he had a band-aid pressed against his hairline._

_“I’m Sugawara Koushi!” the boy introduces himself “My friends call me Suga, but after what you just did, you can just call me Koushi!”_

_Koutaro raises his head a bit. “I’m uh…I’m…Bokuto. Koutaro. Bokuto Koutaro.”_

_A sudden thought hits Koushi. “Oh no—My mom's gonna kill me. She’s so gonna kill me.”_

_“Consider yourself lucky.” Koutaro mumbles._

_“Lucky? How am I lucky that my own mother is going to kill me?”_

_Koutaro looks back down at the floor. “My mother doesn’t care enough to get angry.”_

_Koushi tilts his head in confusion. He takes a seat next to Koutaro, who tenses up. “What do you mean by that?”_

_“She expects this from me.”_

_“You don’t talk much do you?”_

_“Sorry,” Koutaro’s quiet voice apologizes. “She’ll probably be annoyed that she has to call her lawyers. And then after that…” Koutaro mimics the noise of an airplane and uses his hand to recreate the flying vehicle._

_Koushi’s head drops onto Koutaro’s shoulder. “Has she always been like that?”_

_Koutaro looks away from Koushi’s face. “Since the day I was born.”_

_“No way…That’s crazy. No parents could ever hate babies. It’s in our blood.”_

_“Yeah well…she hated me.”_

_“That doesn’t make sense.” Koushi pokes at his cheek. “How could anyone hate you? You’re adorable!”_

_Koutaro chuckles lightly. “It does make sense if the man she loved—my biological father—left because of me.”_

_Koushi feels his heart shatter at Koutaro’s innocent voice saying this. “That’s not your fault.”_

_“Tell her that. Sometimes I swear, she acts like I ruined all her other marriages.” Koutaro leans his head on top of Koushi’s. “Who knows, maybe I did.”_

_How was Koushi’s presence so…calming? Koutaro was amazed at how peaceful he felt._

_“Bokuto-kun…” Koushi rubs small circles on said man’s arm. “Please don’t blame yourself.”_

_Koutaro says nothing._

_“Bokuto Koutaro? Sugawara Koushi? Your lawyer called. You’re both being released.”_

_Koutaro gets up immediately and offers a hand to Koushi, who takes it with shock._

_“I don’t even have a lawyer…” Koushi whispers._

_“Oh uh…I-It was kind of my fault for getting you stuck in here. So I uh…I-I had my lawyer release you too.”_

_“And the underage drinking?”_

_“It won’t go on your record. Don’t worry. And they um…they didn’t call your parents either. I had them call mine.”_

_“What?”_

_“I said we were siblings. So uh—at least your mom won’t kill you.”_

_Koushi laughs at this. They walk out the station into the chill air and turn to one another._

_“Are you sure you’ll be okay, Bokuto-kun?”_

_Koutaro nods. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Um, do you need a ride?”_

_“I actually told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house, so they won’t be too happy to see me early.” Koushi nervously chuckles._

_“Hm. Well…Looks like you’re staying over at a friend’s house then.”_

_Koushi jumps back. “Huh!?”_

_Koutaro smiles. “You’ll stay with me!”_

———————————————

Koutaro gently drags his fingers along the bar counter. He looks at his hand and wipes off the dust with a wipe he had brought along. 

“I can’t believe you bought a fucking club.” Hajime shakes his head.

“Hey, wasn’t this the same seat you saved me in!?” Koushi laughs as he sits down on one of the stools. 

“I still can’t believe you were here at 16.” Tetsuro mumbles. 

“You…You were in love with someone?” Tooru walks up to Koutaro.

Koutaro smiles. “Well…yeah. But uh—I-I moved on. He’s still in my heart though.”

Tooru lets out a small sigh of relief. 

Hajime narrows his eyes at this. Were his suspicions true? Were Tooru and Koutaro truly going on a date? 

“The whole place is trashed. Smells like shit and piss.” Tetsuro grimaces. 

“The paint is already peeling too. How much did you even buy it for?” Hajime scratches at the walls. 

“Uhhh, I didn’t actually pay attention to how much it was. I just signed some stuff and now it’s mine!” Koutaro exclaims.

Koushi blankly stares at him. “Sometimes I worry about you.”

“Tell me again why we haven’t told Akaashi or Kenma.” Tetsuro crosses his arms. “You know I’m trying not to keep secrets anymore!” 

Koutaro sighs in disappointment. “Tetsu bro, this is a very different situation! They’d kill us with their bare hands if they found out!”

“Who’s Akaashi?” Hajime turns to Oikawa. 

“Kou-chan’s new friend.” 

“ _Friend?_ ” Koushi raises a brow.

“Yes. _Friend_.” 

Koushi rolls his eyes in response. 

Hajime bites the inside of his cheek and heads into the backroom. 

“Did you ever tell Hayato that you knew he wasn’t at that Takemi guy’s house?” Tetsuro asks as he crouches down and looks inside all the cabinets. 

“Oh yeah!! It turns out, he was just planning something for my birthday! I went to a club and got into a brawl for no reason!!!” Koutaro sits down on a stool and leans against his cheek. He grins at the memory. 

“Not even surprised.” Koushi joins Tetsuro and looks up at Koutaro. “What’d he plan?” 

“Oh! That was the same month I lost my virginity!” 

Tooru gasps in shock. “KOU-CHAN! DON’T SAY IT SO CASUALLY!!” 

“Wait wait wait.” Tetsuro stands up again. “You said Yoshimi bought this club? Did you just buy it from him?” 

“Actually I think he sold it for double the price he originally bought it. When he heard I got into a fight, he didn’t want any connections to it, just in case the fight got out to paparazzi. You know how he is.”

“That’s so stupid.” Hajime says as he walks back in. “You got any ideas for what you’re gonna do with this place?” 

Koutaro picks at his fingers. “Not really. I mean, this place is an important part of my past, especially since I met Koushi here. I guess I only really bought it for the hell of it. But...it would be nice to put it to some use.” 

Hajime takes a seat next to him. “I could help.” 

“R-Really?”

“And me!” Tetsuro wraps an arm around Koutaro. 

“And us!” Koushi and Tooru cheer.

“I think this place could really be something. But first, we need a name.” Hajime says. 

Koutaro thinks for a bit. After a while, he raises a finger up. “I got it!” 

“What’re we calling it?” 

Koutaro smiles. “Aster!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> incredibly important oc was seen in this chapter. Nakaya Hayato. you guys will definitely be seeing a bit of him, especially in flashbacks and ending chapters. given his past with bokuto, i'm sure you can all draw some conclusions as to what might happen. 
> 
> also, i do understand that bokuto, eiichi, and sugawara being in a club at 16 is a bit of a reach. but please keep in mind: in this story, money can do practically anything. with the power bokuto and eiichi's parents hold, going to a club at 16 was child's play for them. 
> 
> as always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated!!
> 
> Next Time: Your Smile Has Me in Love Again


	20. Your Smile Has Me in Love Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koutaro hangs up and takes a deep breath. 
> 
> He should probably call Tetsuro. Ah, but he and Kenma were on their date. Koutaro shouldn’t ruin that. 
> 
> Maybe Tooru? 
> 
> No…Hajime said he had plans with Tooru, so that’s off the list as well. 
> 
> All of his other friends were probably busy as well and Koutaro sure as hell doesn’t want to drag them into this. But if they’re his friends, then this should be okay, right? 
> 
> No. He can’t bring himself to do it. 
> 
> Guiltily, he brings his phone up to his ear and waits for the person on the other end of the line to pick up. 
> 
> or:
> 
> Koutaro's date is ruined, Tooru deals with the lies he's told, and Hajime bottles up his emotions.

“I cannot believe we have to mop floors. My arms are already dying.” Tooru grumbles out loud. 

“HAHA, I BEAT YOU!” Koutaro shouts at Tetsuro. 

“KISS MY ASS!” Tetsuro shouts back as he runs towards Koutaro, mop in hand.

Tooru narrows his eyes at them. How was he friends with these idiots?

“PAY ATTENTION TO ME! THIS IS YOUR FAULT KOU-CHAN! YOU FORCED ME TO STAY BACK FOR EXTRA SPIKING PRACTICE! YOU KNEW TODAY WAS MY SELF-CARE DAY!” 

“But Toory!” Koutaro pants loudly. “I needed to de-stress! This was the only way!” 

“I agree with Kou.” Tetsuro puts a hand on his hip. “Classes have been too much lately. Not to mention, we have to worry about the club still. Volleyball is the only fun thing in my life these days.” 

“You look like a pregnant woman when you stand like that.” Tooru puts his mop away. 

“Okay Tooru, just because you’re in a bad mood doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me.”

“Guys!” Koutaro calls. “I still have to worry about my date with Akaashi! I haven’t talked to him in TWO DAYS!! WHAT IF HE THINKS I DON’T CARE!!” 

“WHAT ABOUT ME!? KEN IS GONNA GET MAD AT ME FOR NOT TALKING TO HIM EITHER! IT’S SO HARD TRYING NOT TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE CLUB!!” 

“I hate how you all make my single life feel worse.” 

“Look Toory, you can help Kou with his date! That’ll make you feel better!” Tetsuro suggests. 

“I GAVE HIM A BUNCH OF OPTIONS AND HE WON’T LISTEN TO ME! I’VE GIVEN UP!” 

“Because I already have an idea! I have a lot of money, so I’ll just blow it all on him!” 

“See what I’m dealing with Tetsu-chan?”

“Bro, don’t get me wrong, we love you and your money. I just don’t think Akaashi wants that. He likes you for you, not your money. So do something that you like!” 

“No no no Tetsu, you got it all wrong. I’ll take him to a nice dinner at some fancy restaurant Yoshimi used to take my mother, then we can head back home. He’ll love it!”

“But bro—“ 

“Now let me go take a quick shower! No one used the far left one right?” 

Tooru and Tetsuro shake their heads. 

“Alright! I’ll be out soon then!” 

The two others watch as Koutaro leaves, then turn to each other. 

“Fancy restaurant Yoshimi took Akemi to? I don’t think Akaashi will like it much.” Tetsuro sighs. 

“I just wish he wasn’t so convinced that people will dislike his true personality! He’s really showing his Akemi side right now…” 

“It’s not like we can do anything about it though. Kou wants to do this by himself.” 

Tooru shakes his head. “I’m gonna go take a shower. You coming?” 

“He’ll be right there.” A small voice speaks up from the gym door.

Tetsuro whips his head around and—Fuck. 

“Ken-chan! I’ll uh—I’ll be in the showers.” Tooru excuses himself.

“Ken!” Tetsuro nervously exclaims. “H-How’s it going?” 

“You haven’t texted me at all. How do you _think_ it’s going Kuroo Tetsuro?” 

Tetsuro lets out a small whimper at his full name being said. He was in so much trouble…

“Good…I hope?” 

Kenma growls. Tetsuro lets out a small shriek. 

“Are you seriously going back to your old ways?” 

Tetsuro shakes his head furiously. “No, of course not Ken!! It just—There’s been a lot going on in just the span of two days!! Iwa came home and then—“ Tetsuro stops himself. Kenma would not be happy to hear Koutaro bought a club.

“And then?” Kenma raises a brow. 

Tetsuro feels a bead of sweat roll down his forehead. “Uh, just Iwa coming home!”

Kenma walks towards him. Tetsuro only backs away. 

“Ken babe! Please don’t give me that look! It’s only for absolute emergencies!!” 

Kenma continues to glare. 

Tetsuro shrinks down. “…Kou bought a club.” 

“OH! HEY HEY KEN!!!” Koutaro greets his friend as he walks out of the locker room, bag in hand. “We missed ya at the flat—“ 

Kenma turns to Koutaro with a shadow over his eyes. 

Koutaro falls silent. He turns to Tetsuro, whose eyes were widened. 

“Shit.” 

———————————————

Kei peers over Keiji’s shoulder and gives him an odd look before shaking his head and going back to making the coffee in his hand. 

“Tsukishima-kun, I can see your eyes rolling from here.”

“I just don’t understand Akaashi-san. Why’re you so worried?”

“Because—“ Keiji slips his phone back into his pocket. “—Bokuto-san has been sending me dry texts. These mixed signals are killing me.” 

“You have his home address, don’t you? Why don’t you just go visit him?”

“I don’t know…” 

Kei sighs and gives the coffee to the customer before going into the backroom for more supplies. 

Keiji stares at the painting across the wall from him. Yeah, it definitely did something to his sanity. 

“Akaashi-kun! We got customers!” Akinori calls. 

Keiji snaps out of his thoughts and hastily rushes to the counter. 

“I apologize. What can I get started for you today?” 

———————————————

“Meet: My beautiful Aster!!” Koutaro cheers as he throws the doors open to his club. 

Kenma looks around in pleasant surprise. “It’s…actually really nice here…” 

Tetsuro and Koutaro each high-five.

“And so you met Koushi here? In this very place?” Kenma asks. 

“Yeah!! Although, I don’t really know what he was doing in Tokyo when he was living in Miyagi, but that’s a story for later!” 

“So Ken-Ken? Do you like it?” Tetsuro follows his boyfriend around. 

Kenma ignores the question and continues going around the broken-down place and exploring. Some cracked paint and dusty counters, with a too-small dance floor and old indoor balcony. 

“I think it’s a safety hazard.” 

Koutaro makes a noise of surprise. “But Kenma!! We could totally make it work out!!” 

“Kou’s right Ken! You just gotta believe~” Tetsuro sings. 

“Believe~!” Koutaro joins in. 

“Okay, be quiet.” Kenma shakes his head. “It looks disgusting right now. But…I do think you could make it work.” 

“Exactly!!” Koutaro exclaims. 

“I know that face…” Tetsuro whispers as he comes around Kenma. “I remember seeing it in high school.” 

Kenma turns away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“IT’S YOUR FACE OF ANTICIPATION!” 

“I don’t have a face of anticipation.” 

“Ohhh! I see it!! Kenma looks really excited!!” Koutaro grins. 

“I do not.” 

“Do too.” 

“Do not.” 

“Do too.” 

“Do _not_.” Kenma insists as he takes a seat on one of the stools. “Changing the subject…Koutaro, you haven’t reached out to Akaashi yet.” 

Koutaro sheepishly rubs the nape of his neck. “I-I’m still trying to settle on a time and day.” 

“Well, you can just go on Friday. It could be like the annual date night or something.” Tetsuro suggests. 

“I mean, yeah. But what about Toory? He’ll be all alone at the flat.” 

Kenma hums. “He can hang out with Iwaizumi-san.” 

“Not a bad idea…” Koutaro murmurs. “Alright! I’ll tell him Friday!! Kenma, is 7 a good time for him?” 

Kenma nods in response. 

“Sweet! I’ll text him right now then!!” 

“Looks like our little Kou is finally going to start dating someone!!” Tetsuro teases. 

“I’m not going to start dating him Tetsu!!” Koutaro sets his phone down after sending the message. “I-It’s just a small little date!! Nothing too big!!” 

“But you like like him.” Kenma points out. 

“You guys are embarrassing me again!!”

———————————————

At last, Friday had finally arrived. 

The volleyball team was eager to leave for whatever parties were being thrown or the sleep they finally were able to get that was missed throughout the week. Student’s shoulders weren’t tense anymore and they actually wore smiles on their faces. 

Like a miracle. 

For Koutaro and Tetsuro however, it meant date night, worrying about romance, and trying not to fuck up. 

Not a miracle. 

“This is your first date since what? Ten years ago?” Tetsuro asks as he looks through all of Koutaro’s clothes. 

Koutaro rolls his eyes from his place on the bed. “Me and Nakaya had our first date when I was 12. It doesn’t count.” 

“Hmm, a first date is a first date bro.” 

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Have you chosen yet? The reservation is at 7!!” 

“Dude, it’s 4:30. I know you’re nervous, but the date will go fine! You guys have known each other for a while now, he’s gotten you through your emo-mode, and he’s been super supportive of everything!!” 

Koutaro sighs. “I guess you’re right. Hey, where’s Toory?” 

“He’s in his room being petty.” 

“What? Why?” 

“He’s still mad we had to mop floors.” 

“Ugh. _Still?_ ” 

“You know how he gets.” 

Tooru wasn’t going on a date, nor did he have to worry about relationships. Well, his own relationships anyway. Yet he still couldn’t find it in himself to smile at all. And his damn shoulders were still tense. 

He needs a miracle.

 **_“I don’t know Tooru. I think you’re jealous…”_** Koushi offers his input through the phone. 

Tooru’s jaw drops. “I am not!! I just don’t want him to be sad if it doesn’t work out with Akaashi-kun!!” 

**_“You’re secretly hoping it doesn’t work out with Akaashi huh?”_**

“Koushi! I am now mad at you! Have a bad night! I hope both sides of your pillows are warm!” 

_**“Someone’s mad about the truth~”** _

“And I hope Daichi doesn’t give you any sex!” 

**_“HEY—!”_**

Tooru hangs up and groans into his pillow. He was not jealous of Keiji! Koushi was wrong and so was Satori! And everyone else who disagreed with him!

Tooru gets off his bed and runs out of his room, down the hall, and into the kitchen where Hajime was storing food away into some containers. 

“Iwa-chan!” Tooru cries. “Everything is ruined!” 

Hajime doesn’t glance at his friend at all. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” 

“Everyone else is going on a date and I’m not!! It’s not fair!” 

“Well go find a date then.” 

“You make it sound so easy Iwa-chan! Makes sense since you’re not very experienced in dating.” 

“Watch it shit-face.” 

Tooru raises a brow. He wasn’t slapped? Or kicked? Or physically hurt? “Iwa-chan?” Tooru whispers. 

“What now?”

“What is wrong with you?” 

Hajime puts down the bowl of food in his hands and turns to Tooru, who immediately takes a precautionary step backwards. 

“Iwa-chan—?” 

“Oikawa.” 

A yelp makes its way from Tooru’s mouth at the sound of his last name. “Y-Yes?” 

“You have five seconds to run before I beat the absolute shit out of you.” 

Not even a millisecond later, Hajime hears Tooru’s door slam shut. He goes back to separating the food and storing them away in peace. 

A small smile makes its way onto his face at the fact that he finally learned it wasn’t Koutaro and Tooru going on a date together. It was some kid Koutaro met at a cafe. 

Which meant Tooru would be at the flat with Hajime alone. Which also meant, it was finally Hajime’s chance. 

The perfect miracle. 

The door to the flat slams open. 

Hajime jumps up and turns around to see who it was. 

“Where is he!?” 

Hajime gulps and points down the hall. He watches as Kenma walks in front of Koutaro’s room, then looks back down to the fruit he had been cutting. 

Even he was afraid of Kenma at times. 

“TETSURO!” 

Hajime says a quick prayer for Tetsuro, then goes back to cutting his strawberries. 

Tetsuro on the other hand was a sweating mess, who was backing against the wall, shooting a nervous look towards Koutaro. 

Koutaro shakes his head out of fright and runs out of the room to save himself. 

“Tetsuro.” Kenma says again. 

“H-Hey babe!! I missed you!” 

Kenma glares. 

Tetsuro’s eyes bounce around the room nervously. “D-Did you do something to your hair?” 

“Tetsuro, you haven’t texted or called. I don’t like the feeling I had to endure, so please for the love of GOD, tell me why you’ve been so distant!”

“You were…worried?” 

Kenma stays silent. 

“Oh— _Oh my_ —Kenma!? You were _worried_!? For me!?” 

“You are such an idiot.” 

“YOU WERE WORRIED!” 

“I was not!” Kenma crosses his arms and backs away. “I just…wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all.” 

“That’s called being worried.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Well Ken Ken, as flattered as I am that you somewhat admitted how worried you were, I am internally freaking out right now.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Please tell me you noticed how weird Kou has been acting since yesterday at the club!!” 

“Oh. But it makes sense since he’s going on his date with Akaashi.” 

“I know it’s just—“ Tetsuro takes a seat on Koutaro’s bed. “—I feel like…like the date isn’t gonna go well.” 

Kenma sits down next to Tetsuro and leans against him. “What do you mean?” 

“Hayato.” 

The name has Kenma sighing deeply. He grabs hold of Tetsuro’s hand and holds it tightly. “We said we wouldn’t talk about it.” 

“I-I know. But Hayato was—he still is—a really, really, really important person from Kou’s past!! I don’t know how Kou will handle Hayato while being with Akaashi.” 

“It’s Koutaro. He’s not a baby you know. If he thinks he’s ready, then he’s ready.” 

“But still…I have a really bad feeling about the date…” 

“Everyone seems to be getting bad feelings lately.” 

“Foreshadowing?” 

“Hopefully not.” 

“Well then,” Tetsuro stands up and stretches his arms out. “We still have our date night Ken!! I already picked out Koutaro’s clothes and Toory said he’d help Koutaro get ready!! So let’s get going!!” 

“Tetsuro, I just got here. Don’t tell me we’re heading back to the dorms already.” 

“Come on Ken!!” 

Kenma groans and lets Tetsuro drag him out of the room by force. 

“See, I told you he wouldn’t die,” Tooru says as he waves at the two. 

Koutaro narrows his eyes. “You haven’t seen what I’ve seen Toory!! Kenma is SCARY!!” 

Hajime simply continues eating away at the extra strawberries he had been cutting earlier.

“We’re gonna go and head to the dorms for _our_ date night. I put your clothes on the bed bro.” 

“You’re the best bro.” 

“I know bro.”

Tooru rolls his eyes and comes around to wrap an arm around Koutaro. “Kou-chan, we need to start getting you ready! Come now!!” 

“Oh sure!! Have fun on your date guys!! Haji, I still need your clothes advice—GAH TOORU STOP PULLIN’ ME!!” 

Tetsuro chuckles to himself before turning back to Hajime. “So Iwa, what’re you and Toory gonna be doing?” 

“Ah, well I don’t really know yet.” 

“Yeah, childhood crushes do that to you.” 

“WHAT!?” 

Tetsuro smirks. “I know you like Toory~ But don’t worry Iwa. I won’t say a thing!” 

Hajime turns to the side and covers his dark red face. “Shut up idiot.” 

“Was that a picnic basket I saw hiding in the cabinets?” 

“Ugh, just go on your damn date night already Kuroo!”

Tetsuro gives a cheeky smile and winks, then finally grabs hold of Kenma’s hand and walks out the flat. 

Hajime gets up to clean his plate off and sets it on the rack to dry. He crouches down to open the bottom cabinets and smiles. 

Here was his miracle.

———————————————

Tooru flips through the magazine on Koutaro’s bed absent-mindedly. He was currently waiting for Koutaro to finish showering and change into his outfit for the date. 

An anxious feeling had been in the pit of his stomach for a while. He had no idea what it was or if it was just the expired ice cream he had stolen from Tetsuro, but whatever it was, he didn’t like it. 

He continues to repeatedly check his phone for the time while taping his foot along to the music Koutaro was singing to in the shower. 

_“You…You were in love with someone?”_

_Koutaro smiles. “Well…yeah. But uh—I-I moved on. He’s still in my heart though.”_

Maybe it was just that…

Tooru lets out a deep sigh and goes back to skimming over the magazine in his hands. 

“Hey hey, Toory!! What’dya think?” Koutaro’s voice exclaims. 

Tooru looks up. The sight is one he never wants to forget. 

Koutaro’s smile and the way he keeps looking at himself in the mirror just to make sure his hair looked okay. The way he kept fidgeting with his dress shirt and even the way he kept mumbling to himself on how he had to look perfect. 

Every single thing about him was so ethereal, Tooru just couldn’t bring himself to look away. 

The music playing in the bathroom is slowly fading away from his ears. God, Koutaro’s smile. Tooru can’t get over it. He’s never seen his friend this happy. All he can do is stare in awe as Koutaro goes on about how he needed Tooru to call the restaurant for reservations. 

Tooru wants to cry. 

It hits him with no mercy. Koutaro is going on a _date_. With someone who isn’t him. He’s been struggling with these feelings for years, and after finally deciding to let go, his emotions betray him and come back to him. 

He’s still in love with Bokuto Koutaro. 

It’s so stupid and lame and absolutely embarrassing, but Tooru can’t lie to himself any longer. He still loves Koutaro. He’s been in love with Koutaro and he’s not sure if it’ll ever stop, because from where he is right now, Koutaro looks so perfect, and Tooru isn’t sure he’s ever felt this way about anyone. 

Tooru had told himself he wouldn’t get in the way of Keiji and Koutaro. Tooru told himself he was over Koutaro. He looked at himself straight in the mirror and said these words out loud. 

Words that were apparently just lies all along. 

He doesn’t want to believe it. Believing it means admitting to lying to himself and Tooru knows that this is just the start of the old him coming back. The asshole one. The one who didn’t care who he had to hurt, just so he could be the best and get what he wanted. 

The one Koutaro hated. 

“Tooru?” 

Said boy looks up. 

That damn outfit…and his damned eyes…and stupid eyebrows…and weird hair…and pretty eyelashes…and—

“Hello, Earth to Tooru!” 

“…stupid smile.” 

Koutaro looks confused. “Huh? Did you just call my smile stupid Toory!? You know I’ve been working on getting my smile right!! How dare you!” 

He said that out loud didn’t he? “No no no Kou-chan!! I love your smile!” 

Why does he keep messing up? 

“Oh! Thanks Toory! That means a lot to me ya know!” 

That fucking smile. 

———————————————

“Are you sure just jeans and a sweatshirt is fine? I feel…too casual.” Keiji says as he holds up the oversized sleeves. 

“Kou is the king of casual. Don’t worry Akaashi.” Tetsuro reassures him from Kenma’s bed. 

Kenma hums in agreement. “Didn’t I already tell you about Koutaro’s life-long commitment to sandals?” 

Keiji fidgets around with his fingers nervously. “I know. It’s just—I don’t want to mess this up. I-I really like Bokuto-san.” 

Tetsuro smiles. “That’s all you really need then. You won’t mess it up since you like him so much.” 

“I hope I don’t ruin it…” 

Kenma throws a potato chip at Keiji, “Stop overthinking.” 

Tetsuro sighs. “Man…” he leans back on his hands. “You kids grow up so fast. I can’t believe Kou is already moving on from—“ 

Kenma nudges him harshly, earning a yelp from the man behind him. 

Keiji raises a brow. “From what?” 

“From uh, from Yoshimi.” 

“Oh.” 

Tetsuro rubs his stomach painfully. “I still can’t believe it though. Back in my high school days—“ 

“Tetsuro, don’t talk like a grandpa.” 

“Let me finish Ken-Ken!” Tetsuro shakes his head. “As I was saying: I was the school flirt! It didn’t take long for Kenma to fall to his knees, begging to be my boyfriend!” 

Keiji doesn’t look too convinced. “Oh yeah?” he says. 

“Tetsuro, when you tried flirting with me, you were all over the place. I don’t think you said a single word that made sense.” 

“HAH!?” Tetsuro jumps up. “K-KEN! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE!!” 

Keiji rolls his eyes and goes back to stand in front of the mirror, ignoring Kenma and Tetsuro’s mock expressions of one another. 

He couldn’t believe he was finally going to go on a date with Koutaro. Keiji feels like maybe it’s too rushed, but at the same time, he just wants to ask Koutaro to be his boyfriend already. 

He hopes the date goes well. He really wants it to go well. If it doesn’t, Keiji’s afraid that the panic attacks, the emo-modes and all the running away would have been for nothing. 

It has to have all been for something. 

If Koutaro really does return his feelings, then this has to go well. End of conversation. 

“Akaashi!!” Tetsuro calls, snapping the man out of his thoughts. “Your date is here!!” 

Keiji gives himself one last look in the mirror. 

_‘It’ll go well. All of it will.’_

He nods to himself and turns around to grab his bag, then hastily goes to the door. 

“Don’t be nervous!! You’ll do great!” Tetsuro cheers. 

“Stop overthinking,” Kenma repeats himself. 

Keiji sends them a small smile and goes to unlock the door. 

“‘Kaashi—!” 

“Bokuto-san—“ 

The two stare at each other blankly. Tetsuro and Kenma watch from the corner. 

“Uh…Am I…early?” Koutaro asks as he fumbles with his tie. 

Keiji blinks. “No, I guess I’ve—I’m underdressed…” he takes a small step back and points into the dorm. “Do you mind if I go and change really quickly?” 

Koutaro motions for him to go on, which Keiji does immediately. Kenma follows Keiji into the bathroom as Tetsuro runs over to meet Koutaro at the dorm. 

“Dude!!” Tetsuro whisper yells. “What’re you doing here wearing a tux!? I didn't tell you to wear that!!"

“I told you I was gonna take him to a fancy restaurant as a surprise and you gave me shorts!! Toory told me to wear this instead!! Did you tell Akaashi to wear that!?” 

“I thought you were joking!” 

Kenma sighs as he walks to stand next to Tetsuro. “I thought you said he was kidding about the fancy restaurant,” he aggressively pokes at his boyfriend. 

“I THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING!!” 

“Where's 'Kaashi?” Koutaro moves around to get a good look inside the dorm. “Damn it. I already messed up!”

“Woah, no no no! Don’t think that!” Tetsuro urgently says. “It wasn’t your mistake man! It was mine! I told him to wear that, so don’t worry! You totally got this!!” 

Koutaro’s pout doesn’t disappear. Instead, his shoulders slump even more and his hair was beginning to lose it’s fluff. “I totally messed up,” he mutters. 

“Koutaro, it’s fine. He’ll finish getting changed and then you can start all over.” 

“Hmm….” 

“Bro! I love what you did with your hair!” 

Koutaro suddenly perks up. “I know right!! I’m finally having a good hair day!!”

Tetsuro gives two thumbs-up. “Yeah bro!! And then Akaashi will see it and compliment you!!” 

Kenma moves to the side and allows Keiji to pass through, and stands next to Koutaro. 

“Good luck guys,” Kenma waves as he begins to close the door. 

“REMEMBER TO USE PROTECTION!” Tetsuro yells and finally closes it. 

Koutaro and Keiji both gulp and turn to one another. 

“Ah, we should probably start heading down now.” Koutaro nervously chuckles. 

“Right.” 

———————————————

Hajime carefully places the box of chocolate-covered strawberries into the picnic basket. He then puts some drinks inside and closes it tightly. 

There. Now that he was finished setting that up, he’d have to go hide it in his car. He does so, then comes back into the flat to hear Tooru’s whines while on the phone with Koushi. 

Hajime chuckles quietly and goes to stand in front of Tooru’s door. He raises his hand to knock, but a sudden thought stops him. 

Was he really ready to make the first move? After all the time he spent away from Tooru? 

Hajime takes a deep breath. He’s ready. He’s done waiting. He knows what he wants and he’s going to win Tooru over. 

But before he’s able to knock, the door is flying open, and out comes a shaken up Tooru. 

“Oikawa—?” 

“I-I have to go!” Tooru hastily explains as he runs to the couch to put his shoes on. 

Hajime feels his chest tighten. “Shit-face, uh…I actually had something planned for us, ya know. Is it really that important?” 

Tooru nods in response. He quickly puts his hoodie on and looks around for his wallet. “Raincheck Iwa-chan? I have to go see Koushi!” 

“Shittyka—“ Hajime clears his throat. “Oikawa, I could go with you then? I haven’t seen Sugawara in forever actually.” 

“Ah, maybe next time. This is really important!” 

And Tooru’s out the door, leaving behind a now lonely Hajime. 

He ends up going back to his car for the picnic basket. Hajime settles back into his room and locks the door. 

_‘Don’t be so sensitive. It was probably something that couldn’t be avoided,’_ he thinks to himself.

He takes out all the food he had prepared all morning and goes to watch something on his T.V. 

The cake doesn’t seem appealing to him, nor does the candies he had thought Tooru still liked. 

The chocolate-covered strawberries are the ones he chooses. Those were always Tooru’s favorites. 

———————————————

Koutaro presses his lips together awkwardly and swings his and Keiji’s hands back and forth. He looks around at all the cars and people jogging by. Ah, he almost forgot. “You look great,” he says to Keiji. 

Keiji flushes bright pink. “Thank you Bokuto-san. You do as well.” 

Koutaro clears his throat and continues looking around. 

“What’d you do today?” Keiji decides to ask. 

“Just had Toory make some calls for reservations. I was real’ nervous, haha.” 

Keiji chuckles along, searching for something to fill in the silence. 

“Did I mention you look great?” Koutaro speaks up. 

“You did,” Keiji laughs. “Thank you though.” 

Koutaro nods and stares on ahead. 

“I got to meet Tsukishima’s boyfriend today,” Keiji settles on saying.

Koutaro smiles widely. “Oh, freckles? He’s really cool!! And shy but really cool!!” 

“Yes, I thought so too. He’s not much of a people person though.” 

“Yeah, that’s why I like him a lot!! He gets me! But don’t you be fooled ‘Kaashi! Freckles can get real’ mean like Tsukki does!!” 

“I will choose to ignore that. Yamaguchi seems so nice.” 

“You haven’t experienced what I’ve experienced Akaashi!! Oh! We’re here!!” Koutaro points to the restaurant up ahead. 

Keiji suddenly feels self-conscious. This was most certainly an expensive restaurant where CEOs or even celebrities dined at! But here he was, wearing just a button-down and trousers. Even Koutaro seemed to fit in. 

Koutaro doesn’t seem to notice the way Keiji’s body stiffens and continues to pull him on ahead. 

It seems Koutaro’s already been here before. The moment they walk in, waiters are already leading them away to a private table. Back corner, as per usual. 

They each take their seats and busy themselves with looking at the menu instead of speaking to one another. 

The tension was astounding. 

“Do you uh…Do you know what you’re gonna order yet?” Koutaro peeks over his menu to look at Keiji. 

Keiji bites his lip and shakes his head. “It’s all…quite expensive.” 

“Oh! Well, I’m paying for it anyway, so you can get whatever you want ‘Kaashi!” 

Keiji furrows his eyebrows. “Are you sure you don’t want to just split the bill?” 

Koutaro waves him off. “I totally got it Akaashi! Don’t worry about it! You should save up that money anyways!” 

Keiji can’t help but feel…inferior, to Koutaro. Especially money-wise. Does Koutaro think this is…some type of charity work? 

_‘No Keiji…You’re overthinking again. Stop it.’_ Keiji pinches himself as his mind scolds him. 

A waitress comes by with a bottle of wine and two glasses and sets them on the table. 

Koutaro’s eyes widen as he shifts away from it slowly. “I uh—I-I didn’t order this.” 

“It was asked to be taken to the table on your reservation card. During your call?” 

Koutaro gulps. _‘Damn it Tooru.’_

Keiji sees the waitress give Koutaro a confused look. “Ah, thank you then,” he intervenes. 

She smiles back, pours some into the glasses, and bows before heading back to another table. 

Keiji holds his glass of wine up. “Cheers, Bokuto-san.” 

Koutaro stares at the glass. His teeth tear apart the skin on his lip as his fingers began playing with his bracelets even harsher, and his eyes were burning holes into the cup of wine Keiji was still holding up. 

“Bokuto-san?”

_“Disgraceful! You never do anything I ask of you! Why can’t you just be a normal child!?” Akemi yells, her fist tightening around the bottle of wine she had been drinking from ever since she got off of work._

_Koutaro flinches back. “I-It was an accident. I didn’t mean to!”_

“Bokuto-san, are you alright?” Keiji asks as he sets the wine down. Koutaro’s eyes follow it. 

_“I can’t believe you did this Koutaro! Do you understand how much this cost!? Give me your bracelets right now!” Yoshimi shouts._

_“No!” Koutaro covers his ears with his hands. “NO!”_

Keiji stands up as soon as he sees blood forming on Koutaro’s lip. “Bokuto-san!” he raises his voice. 

_“You should be thankful for the life we give you! Do you know how many kids would kill to have the money we have!? Do you!? ANSWER ME KOUTARO!” Akemi screams as she throws her glass of wine at the wall directly next to her son._

_Koutaro doesn’t even flinch. “Leave me alone…” he whispers._

Keiji walks around the table and towards Koutaro. “Bokuto-san, please. Are you okay?”

_Blood stains his thighs and arms. It stings as it mixes in with the wine. All over his mother’s rug._

_“Have you been drinking!?” Akemi widens her eyes. “You broke the bar too! Koutaro, get out! Leave this house now!”_

_Koutaro’s weary eyes slowly blink as he stands up and walks towards the door. He pays no attention to the whispers and looks about his bleeding legs and arms, and simply continues walking on the street._

_He turns right and looks for the familiar house, before knocking on the door and waiting for it to open._

_“Koutaro, hey man!” Tetsuro looks down at his friend. “Oh my god—Koutaro!”_

_Tetsuro’s voice is the last thing Koutaro hears before passing out._

“Bokuto-san!” 

Koutaro snaps out of his trance. “Huh? What?” He looks around to see waiters and customers staring at him in shock. Next to him, Keiji’s eyes are widened. 

Koutaro decides to run. 

Out of the restaurant and out onto the now barely lit streets. He runs and runs and runs until he falls to his knees near a park bench. He buries his head into his hands, forcing himself not to cry. 

Why is he so fucking sensitive? 

Koutaro swallows down his tears and takes his phone out to call Hiroshi. 

**_“Hello?”_**

Koutaro quickly has Hiroshi pay for whatever was needed and take Keiji back to the dorms. Hiroshi listens as he’s given the directions towards the restaurant. 

Koutaro hangs up and takes a deep breath. 

He should probably call Tetsuro. Ah, but he and Kenma were on their date. Koutaro shouldn’t ruin that. 

Maybe Tooru? 

No…Hajime said he had plans with Tooru, so that’s off the list as well. 

All of his other friends were probably busy as well and Koutaro sure as hell doesn’t want to drag them into this. But if they’re his friends, then this should be okay, right? 

No. He can’t bring himself to do it. 

Guiltily, he brings his phone up to his ear and waits for the person on the other end of the line to pick up. 

**_“Koutaro, hey!”_**

“Eiichi?” Koutaro cries. “I need help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel so bad for bokuto :((( and akaashi too. poor akaashi didn't even know about the wine triggering bokuto. AND IWA!!! I FEEL BAD FOR MAKING THEM ALL FEEL LIKE THIS. 
> 
> but at least we have happy kuroken :)
> 
> please make sure to take care of yourselves!! and don't work too much!! remember to take small breaks in between <3
> 
> Next Time: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey!! i never realized how hard it was to type so much. it's pretty short, so I'll definitely try and write a bit more in later chapters. i hope you guys have a good day/night!


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